Burning Forever: The Third Part of the Axus Saga
by Emi Hikari
Summary: I never know what to say in these things for this series-you'll just have to read it to understand how epic it truly is. ;
1. Chapter 1: Sunrise

Burning Forever

The Infamous, Fabulous, Scandalous, FINAL Part of the Axel/Nexus series

Introduction

The empty rum bottle rolled out of her limp hand and hit the other one already lying uselessly on the floor. At a blood alcohol level of 0.12%, she was legally drunk. That didn't stop her or the other person, though. Both of them were drunk, tired, and aroused. A deadly mix for most.

However, for this couple, there was a slight difference.

Only one of them was underaged, and only by days. The other one was around 22, nearing 23. Both of them were deeply in love, and the guy had a VERY well-paying job as a pyrotechnician. They lived in their own house, although they weren't married. And even though you probably could've shoved them over with your pinky finger, they were both somewhat aware of what was going on. IE...they _planned_ it this way.

Who the heck am I talking about, you ask?

Who else?

Who else would get that drunk? Who else would drink underaged, for that matter? Who else would be a pyrotechnician? Who else would be making love right off the freaking bat?

...

You don't know?

Oh my gosh...you idiots.

Though I suppose I'm ahead of myself, aren't I? So I guess we'll start where we always do: at the beginning.

Main Character: Nexus

Age: 20

Hair: Long, black with hot pink streaks

Eyes: Blue-ish green, like the ocean

Likes: Axel, her gun, rum, Axel, Naminé, sarcasm, freedom, Axel, people who like her for HER, Sora, Riku, Kairi, E, have I mentioned Axel yet?...

Dislikes: DiZ, Sune (aka "the other me"), Ienzo/Zexion and any other traitor in the Organization, people who make fun of her for any reason whatsoever, and people who become biased about her being "bad"

Quick Summary: Nexus is extremely loyal and always keep her promises. She doesn't mind having too much fun, and she is a bit of a con artist at heart. She is a little quick to judge, but she really loves people and treasures any real friendships she has. She has been through a lot of really difficult, mind-blowing stuff, but she is a stronger person because of it. Now that her mission is complete, she can have some fun.

Secondary character: Sune-she's dead. :3

Age: DEAD

Hair: DEAD

Eyes: DEAD

Likes: DEAD

Dislikes: DEAD

Quick Summary: Though we're not done discussing her just yet, I'm happy to say she's DEAD! So really, there is no secondary character.

And, the Obvious: Axel

Age: 22

Hair: Spiky, scarlet

Eyes: Bright green

Likes: Nexus, making fun of people, Nexus, Riku, Nexus, rum, fire, Nexus, his family, Roxas, Sora, and of course, Nexus. XD

Dislikes: the way he dead, almost all of the Organization, how he lost many of his friends

Quick Summary: Now that he and Nexus understand each other more, things are about to get interesting with Axel. Though I do wonder if he can really handle being around all those teenagers.

Chapter 1: Sunrise (www . youtube . com/watch?v=Sl1mKoiDGus)

Memo: Hello again everyone! Welcome to the third and final part of the Axus saga. XD And I promise, it doesn't get more final than this...

Nexus' PoV

"Well, that's that!" Sora exclaimed cheerfully, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Hey, that my line," I said.

It had been six months since Axel and I had been in love. Six months since we arrived on Destiny Islands. Six months since we'd started building our house.

So much had changed, so much hadn't.

Let's just go around the circle, shall we?

Sora was one of those who hadn't changed at all, and he probably never will. The only thing that had changed in that whole six months was his height, which gradually kept increasing, leaving me shorter than just one more person. Anyway, Sora was doing fine.

Kairi was the same as usual, too: unfriendly. I didn't understand why this was at the time, but she really wouldn't talk to me unless either I addressed her first, or if E or Axel was around. If the former was true, she'd reply just enough to give an absolute answer, and then not talk at all. If the latter was the case, she was fine and dandy, even bubbly and chipper, like E. She was about as flaky as they came.

Riku also got taller...and E didn't, so the height difference became even more incredible and yet even more adorable. He stayed busy, helping us build the house and doing most of the design layout with help from me and Axel. I'll talk about the house itself in a minute. Anyway, we agreed to pay Riku for the extra help he put in, and so things just worked out.

E was as adorable as always, with a lot less hair. She chopped it up to her chin, so there was two feet of hair, just gone one day. She laughed when we freaked out about, saying, "It's summer and it's hot! But don't worry! My hair grows fast! Next year it will be that length again!" I hope she's right. I miss her hair. Oh, and she turned sixteen last month.

As for me and Axel...well, we've been camping out under the stars every night except when it's bad weather, which is basically never. Sora finally paid me for helping him, so we spent that munny on things like food and clothing and other necessities. Axel found a job, almost the exact same as the one he nearly had before he died the first time. He's happy with it, and they pay him well. Half of his pay goes toward Riku and the rest of the house, and the other half toward necessities again. It was rough, but...we made it.

"It looks so good!" E cried, grinning from ear to ear.

"We can move in furniture now, can't we?" I asked Riku, who nodded.

"The paint should be dry by now, and floors are ready," he replied, walking over to the van of stuff we had had shipped over through a ferry-_that_ was expensive, but luckily for us, Riku's parents were loaded and more than willing to help.

"Axel will be so surprised!" E told me, still grinning. Adorable.

"I know, but he and I figured it would be done today," I replied, smirking. "Go figure he's not here to help load stuff in."

"I'm not, am I? Then I should leave."

We turned to see Axel walking toward us, smirking.

"Hey, you're just in time," Sora said, smiling.

"I noticed. Thank you," he said, smiling back. He threw his suit coat off to the side and rolled up his sleeves.

Another reason I really liked his job was because he had to dress nicely for it, and daaaaamn, did he look good.

"Let's go," he told me, and together we headed toward the truck.

As I was saying, we were fine. Building this house with just the six of us forced us to get into shape, so we were both really healthy and strong at that point. Not that we weren't to begin with, but still, there's always room for improvement.

Unloading the furniture didn't take long at all, since we had already taken care of the plumbing earlier, as well as painting and flooring. It also helped that a few of the rooms didn't need furniture just yet. They were like bonus rooms. We didn't really know exactly what we were going to use them for then, but there was nothing wrong with extra space. There was no way we'd just stay as the two of us forever.

"I kind of might miss sleeping outside," Axel said as we pushed a sofa into place.

"If you really miss it, you're more than welcome to let me have the bed all to myself, and you can sleep in the great outdoors," I teased him.

"Only if you let me set off fireworks and start my own clan of wild animals."

"Don't you already do that at work?"

E looked at Axel and Nexus, watching them talk and work at the same time with ease. She had never seen two people like them before. Two people that were so alike and yet so different at the same time. They were completely compatible.

"Asleep on your feet?"

E turned to see Riku smirking at her. She blushed, grinning.

"No, don't be silly!" she said, pulling him away. "Daijoubu desu yo! (I'm alright!)"

"Hontou ni? (Really?)"

"Uun...(Yeah...)"

Glancing over her shoulder at Nexus and Axel, she smiled. She was extremely proud to know them and to have them as close friends. But she was even more proud that her beau designed their house.

...

"Thank you so much," Nexus said, hugging each the teens one by one. "Seriously."

"It's nothing," Riku murmured.

"We owed you," Sora agreed.

"We love you, onee-chan! ("big sister")" E exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"...We're so grateful," Nexus said, smiling.

Axel nodded, smiling as well.

It felt like nearly everything had settled into place for him. There was only one thing he wished he could change: Roxas and Namine.

Axel knew that Nexus missed Namine, even though she didn't say it often. And he missed Roxas. It was like they both lost their little siblings. Axel really knew what that felt like...

He wished there was a way to bring them back, but that felt impossible. So, other than that detail, everything was basically perfect.

Nex had been right when they first arrived here: it was paradise. He could be happy here. It was impossible to be alone.

"You should celebrate!" E was telling them when Axel snapped out of it.

"How?" Nexus asked, glancing at Axel. He shrugged, smirking.

"Whatever we can come up with," he answered.

"Then that leaves us with plenty of options." Nexus hugged them each one more time. "Thank you. I'll be saying that for the rest of our lives, so get used to it."

They all smiled, knowing what she said was more than true. They owed each other their lives, each one for different reasons. It was just a matter of finding a way to pay each other back now, which would be impossible.

Saying their goodbyes until tomorrow, the four walked away, leaving Nexus and Axel alone on the front step of their new home.

E turned back to look at them one more time. She would miss spending time with them every morning, and a part of her felt sad.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked her.

"...They're so amazing," she replied quietly. "I've never seen such a strange but wonderful bond between two people. They make me feel so...ordinary."

Riku stopped, pulling E toward him.

"I promise, you are anything but ordinary," he murmured in her ear. She nodded once, understanding him perfectly.

Nexus' PoV

"...Now what?" Axel said once the four were out of sight. I shrugged, not knowing what to do or say next. There were too many options.

"Let's go inside, for starters," I said, smiling a little. The warm summer air followed us in.

"Are you hungry?" Axel asked.

"No, I ate already. You?"

"Same."

We both sighed, then grinned at each other for the sake of coincidence. It helped we shared a heart, I guess.

You see, that day we walked on together across the beach was not an ending at all, but a beginning.

Oh goodness, no, it couldn't have ended there. I still have plenty left to explain. And plenty to just talk about.

Just like I said, that day was not an ending, nor was this day, when we'd finished our house.

It was only a beginning, a sunrise to a long, long day ahead.

And though we knew the day was bound to fade at some point, we still had time. We were going to make the most of it.


	2. Chapter 2: Only One Way

Chapter 2: Only One Way (www . youtube . com/watch?v=susgh5Rst48 -this video is a little bit...out there. consider yourself warned. XP)

Memo: This pretty much makes me chortle everytime I think about it. lol.

Nexus' PoV

"So, really," I said, sitting down next to Axel on the new sofa, inhaling and smelling that familiar campfire scent, which at this point had a totally different meaning, now that I knew how he had died.

"Really what?" he said, looking at me.

"What _should_ we do to celebrate?" I asked. "We can't just sit here all night."

"So you're making me decide?"

"Yes."

Axel smirked, and for a moment I nearly regretted having agreed to such an idea.

"Well...I'll give you your three options," he said, looking at me, then at the clock, which read a few minutes past seven. "We can...call the others and have a party..." That seemed kind of fun, but I felt like they needed their rest and that they really deserved a break. "We can celebrate by just relaxing, then sleeping in all morning." Boring. "...Or we can get drunk off our asses and make love until the morning comes."

"..." I wasn't sure if he meant that as a joke, but I was definitely going to test it. "...Are you serious about that last one?"

"Only if you want me to be." He looked at me, and I felt like I was being tested. Not that I minded.

"You _do_ have tomorrow off..." I murmured, smirking. "Don't you?" When he nodded, I sighed. "Option three sounds pretty much epic. But how do we get the alcohol?"

"Actually..." Axel laughed, getting up. "...The whole reason I said that was because someone at work gave me some...to celebrate. So why not use it for its true purpose?"

He opened his work duffel, which usually contained all sorts of special equipment, and pulled out two bottles of rum.

"Toss one over," I told him, so he did. "Do you even know if it's any good?" Spiced rum? I didn't really know anything about alcohol, since I was still under twenty-one at that point, so it all sounded foreign to me.

"Nope. So that's why I didn't want to try it alone."

"Right, drag me down with you?" I teased him, raising an eyebrow.

"You could say that." Axel leaned against the kitchen counter. "But see, here's the thing: you're still twenty. So if you get raging drunk and get sick...well, just don't drink yourself to death. We'll _both_ get in trouble. Me for giving it to you, and you for drinking it." What a stupid rule. What, is it like, the second you turn twenty-one, you suddenly become super wise and intelligent? Whatever. That's just not true.

"Like _five days_ makes a difference."

"You never know when it's your _last_ five days."

"Don't get all morbid on me," I said, pouting. "I'm willing to risk it."

"Your choice." Axel shrugged, walking away.

"It's not like I'm going to turn into a raging alcoholic or anything," Nexus said, trotting after Axel, the bottle of rum in one hand. She used her free hand to grab his sleeve. "Is that what you're worried about?"

"No," Axel replied, rolling his eyes. "Even if you did, you'd probably be so hilarious that I wouldn't care." He chuckled, and Nexus frowned/pouted. "What I'm worried about is you overdoing yourself. I know you."

"I know that you know me. You worry too much."

Nexus plopped onto their bed, sitting cross-legged. Axel sat next to her.

"Then, fine. Just don't overdo it."

"Okay, fine. I have one question, though."

"What?"

"Will you open this for me? I don't want to break my nails."

They both laughed, and Axel took the rum from her.

Nexus silently giggled into her hands, closing her eyes. Why was this so funny? She wasn't really sure. Probably because she pretty much tricked Axel into doing _exactly_ what she wanted to do.

"I'm scared to give this to you," Axel said. "You're already acting drunk."

"Shut up."

Nexus took the bottle out of his hands and inhaled deeply.

"It smells so goooood," she said, sighing quietly.

"Cheers," Axel said, and they clinked the lip of their bottles together.

"To merryment."

"Indeed."

Closing her eyes, Nexus took a few gulps of the stuff. Her nose tingled a little.

"It's pretty good," Axel said, nodding.

"Compared to?" Nexus asked, taking another swig.

"Well, not really to anything. Wine is good, but it's really different than this."

"Really?"

Nexus' PoV

I have never ever ever ever ever tasted anything like that stuff before. Ever. It was so good. I guess now I understand why Axel thought I might make myself sick. Good thing I only had _one_ bottle of the stuff.

"Yeah, but, like I said, it's good." Axel drank down some more of it. "My brother took me to a bar for my twenty-first birthday. It was...interesting, to say the least."

"Why?" Another gulp.

"It's like...I dunno." He shook his head. "It's like...you can see people's true personalities when they're loosened up like that."

"Are you talking about your brother, or just people in general?" Another gulp.

Axel thought for a moment. "Both," he finally decided, taking another swig.

"Hmmm..." I pressed my lips together, unable to focus on just one thought. My head was swimming with questions I didn't know how to put into words. Finally, when I managed to collect my ideas, I started talking again. "So was your brother a big asshole or something?"

"No, actually," Axel replied, thinking. "He was really quiet and philosophical." Um? Just like Axel?

"You're obviously related."

"You really think so?" Axel asked, raising an eyebrow. He looked tired, and I couldn't tell if that was because of the rum or because he really was tired. Or maybe it was a mix of both.

I nodded. At this point, I was starting to feel pretty loopy. I didn't want to say anything in fear of sounding like a retard and proving Axel's point from earlier. Though I figured I wasn't too far gone yet, since I could still control what my thoughts were.

"Are you an only child?" Axel asked me. I shrugged.

"I don't really know," I replied, taking another swig of the stuff. "I could see it going either way."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean...like, either my parents really wanted to replace me, so they had another kid. Or, on the other hand, they didn't want to risk the heartbreak of having another freak kid, so they just stopped while they were ahead."

"...That's a harsh way of putting it, but that seems likely," Axel said, frowning a little. "Maybe it was more along the lines of...that they didn't want to try replacing you and end up not loving that kid as much in result."

"Who knows." I took another drink. "Yuffie said I looked like my mother, but who knows if we think alike."

"I still say you should find them and find out."

"No."

I went to take another drink, but I realized that I had actually drank it all.

"I must really love this stuff," I said out loud, grinning.

"What? You drank that whole thing already?" Axel said, his eyes widening a little. I nodded. "I can't believe it."

"Neither can I. But I feel fine now."

"The key word there is _now_." Axel smirked, shaking his head. He had finished his bottle a while ago. I didn't really remember when. I just remember it happening.

"Yeah, I'll probably regret it tomorrow," I agreed, still grinning.

"Then, cheers to tomorrow."

"Cheers."

I don't really remember too much of what happened next, but I do recall it being too inappropriate to write down for everyone's eyes to see.

Now I know I can say this and make total sense.

The empty rum bottle rolled out of her limp hand and hit the other one already lying uselessly on the floor. At a blood alcohol level of 0.12%, she was legally drunk. But that would not stop her. Nothing could, really. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she knew she was going to get it.

After all, Nexus had never felt so secure in her life, and she probably never would again.

...

Cringing, Nexus opened her eyes early the next morning, feeling less than well.

_Yup, I do regret it_, she thought as her stomach churned. _This can't be good_.

Pushing herself up, Nexus squeezed her eyes shut. Her whole body still felt heavy, and her mind was still clouded. Yet somehow, she managed to force herself up, and slowly she staggered to the bathroom. Her knees hit the floor, her hand covering her mouth.

_Ten more seconds_, she told herself, lifting the toilet seat up.

Wretching into the toilet, Nexus' whole body cramped up. It took nearly all of her strength to stay upright.

_I am never doing that again,_ she thought, near tears. _I feel like shit_.

Her stomach throbbing, Nexus finally calmed down, leaning herself against the wall. The lights were spinning, and they probably shouldn't have been.

_Axel doesn't have to worry about me becoming an alcoholic, not if _this_ happens_.

Covering her eyes with her hand, Nexus groaned quietly.

_I shouldn't have done this to myself_, she thought, cringing again. _It feels like my stomach is going to split in half_.

Glancing toward the door, Nexus pouted.

_Stupid Axel. He's probably sound asleep_. She inhaled and exhaled slowly. _Boo_.

Finally, after a few minutes, Nexus felt well enough to get up, so she forced herself to go to the sink and brush her teeth, which tasted like a mix of rum and vomit. The mint was enough to cover it up, though, and so she stumbled back into bed.

"Are you okay?" Axel asked, and she jumped. She hadn't thought he was awake.

"Yeah," she lied, looking at him. "I'm fine."

He kissed her gently, and internally she winced.

_You wouldn't want to kiss me if you knew what just came out of my mouth_, she thought. But she was too tired and still too far gone to care. It was still nighttime, the clock reading around one-thirty.

Something in her brain still was fuzzy, and something influenced her enough to make her pull Axel closer, even though her subconcious was still a little grossed out.

_I don't want to be alone ever again_, she told herself. _Promise you'll love me forever. Promise_...

...

Nexus weakly opened her eyes, inhaling slowly. She could almost swear she could see spots of random color at first, but her vision finally focused, better than earlier. Her head felt airy and light. Exhaling even more slowly, she smiled to herself. If someone had asked her a year ago if she ever would be in this position, she probably would've called them stupid and walked away, laughing. And yet here was this reality surrounding her, swallowing her whole.

She was okay with it, though. For once, she was ready to accept any consequences for her actions. That was a new one for her.

So she snuggled closer to the red-headed lover sleeping next to her. His arm was slung around her waist; she gently pulled his arm so it was more secure around her waist.

At the involuntary movement of his arm, Axel opened his eyes. Relaxing when he realized it was only Nexus, he closed his eyes again, shifting his head ever so slightly. He wondered if she was feeling any better. Probably not by much.

Suddenly, as if in response, her waist disappeared from under his arm as she trotted over to the bathroom. She tripped over her own feet, but somehow she safely managed to get there and shut the door behind her. Axel could hear her gagging, and he sighed. Never again.

Tripping again as she exited the bathroom-after brushing her teeth again, of course-Nexus stumbled over to the bed, shaking slightly.

"Walk lately?" Axel asked, closing his eyes.

"Nope," she replied, unable to surpress a grin.

In one surprisingly swift movement, Nexus climbed into bed and straddle-sat on Axel's stomach. He let out an "oof" of surprise, which only broadened her grin. She leaned down in his face, smirking.

"Done _that_ lately?" she teased him.

"Yep."

Nexus gasped at the surprisingly honest response, then giggled, wrinkling her nose in amusement.

"You're terrible." She laid down on top of him, smiling, then kissing his nose.

Axel was about to say something in reply, but suddenly they heard a faint knock on their front door.

"Ahhhh, are you serious..." Nexus groaned, burying her face in Axel's neck.

"Hello?" a quiet voice said.

"It sounds like E," Axel whispered as Nexus lifted her head up.

"Nexus?"

Nexus was quiet for a moment, then sighed.

"It would have to be her," she agreed, getting up out of bed. Flinging open the closet doors, she grabbed a robe, twisted her hair and tossed it over her shoulder, then headed to the door.

Nexus' PoV

I have to say, I was a lot more than surprised when I opened the door and Kairi, not E, was standing there. She looked confused and irritated at the same time, which probably matched my own facial expression.

"What's up?" I said.

"Did you seriously just wake up?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I replied.

"How late did you guys stay up?"

"Later than we should've."

"Why?"

"Why are you here?" I asked, quickly diverting the subject, even if I had to be a little rude in the process. Not like she didn't deserve it or anything.

"Oh, yeah. E sent me over," Kairi said, rocking back and forth on her heels. She was an inch shorter than me. "She has a really bad headache. Anyway, she wanted to know if you would let her throw you a birthday party. But she didn't know if you were going to, well, y'know, go do other stuff."

I got the feeling she was hinting at drinking. Hah. Good joke.

"No, I'm not planning on doing anything," I responded quickly. Been there, done that, right?

"Cool. She'll be excited," Kairi said, half-smiling. "I guess last night after we left she wouldn't stop talking about ideas she had and now she's not feeling well."

"She probably got over-excited," I sighed. "Well, now she can get pumped all over again."

"Yeah, I guess so."

We stood there for a few moments with this looming awkward silence hanging there. I wondered if E hadn't sent Kairi over to try to make us become friends or something.

"Well, see you later," Kairi said.

"Bye," I said, waving a little, then disappearing behind the door.

Sighing, I walked back into the bedroom and fell into bed, curling into a ball.

"What was that about?" Axel asked.

"Kairi said E wants to throw me a birthday party," I murmured, my voice muffled by my pillow.

"Okay, well..." Axel sat upright; I didn't move. "...I'm getting up."

"Have fun with that," I said with a sigh, squeezing my eyes shut.

...

"Nex?"

My eyes fluttered open. I was still curled into a ball, still wearing my robe.

"Are you feeling okay?" Axel asked, putting a hand on my forehead.

"Fine," I said, yawning and swatting his hand away. "Just tired. What time is it?"

"Six."

"_Seriously_?" I gasped, sitting up. I guess I sat up a little too quickly, because I collapsed back down into bed.

"Are you hungry?" Axel asked.

"A little."

"Do you want me to make you something?"

"No, I'm okay. If I'm really hungry, I'll get out of bed and fix something myself."

Axel shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly. If I hadn't been so tired, I probably would've hit him. But I was too tired even to eat, so I stayed in bed and slept until eight the next morning.


	3. Chapter 3: Celebrate

Chapter 3: Celebrate (www . youtube . com/watch?v=vSHvgFZyjwI)

Memo: I love love love this chapter. I remember when I first came up with the idea, it just kept playing over and over again in my mind. XD Adding E as a character opened up even more possibilities, which I love. :) Hope you like it, too!

"Youkoso! (Welcome!)" E shouted when Axel and Nexus finally arrived that Saturday. "Happy birthday, onee-chan!" She pulled Nexus into a tight hug.

"Thanks, E," Nexus said, hugging her back. _So adorable_.

"Come in! Come in!" E pushed the two inside Riku's house. "It's time to celebrate!"

Shutting the door behind them, Nexus looked around to see Riku, Sora, and Kairi already sitting there, looking a little bored.

"It's a double birthday!" E cried, dancing over to Riku.

"What?" he and Nexus both mumbled.

"That's right!" E laughed, grinning broadly. "Today is both Riku's and Nexus' birthday!" She pinched Riku's cheek playfully. "Futago! (Twins!)"

"Not really..." Riku muttered, pouting ever so slightly.

"Well, it's true! You are both older today!"

"Don't remind me," Nexus sighed.

"If it makes you feel better, you don't look older than Riku," Sora said, grinning, which caused Nexus to grin back and Riku to hit Sora in the gut. "Hey! You _have_ to admit, she looks our age."

"Does it matter?" E said, bounding over to Nexus like a happy puppy. "Let's do cake! Let's do cake!"

"Okay, that's fine," Nexus said, shrugging.

As E cheered, Riku and the others got up and joined them.

"Happy birthday," Riku and Nexus said to each other at the same time.

"FUTAGO!" E shouted, turning to them.

"Damare, Eibin... (Shut up, E...)" Riku muttered, walking over to the table.

"Well, I guess you're not twins in the Sheng Xiao," E sighed, setting out plates.

"The what?" Nexus asked, sitting down across from Riku.

"The Chinese Zodiac," Riku and E replied at the same time.

"More like _you_ and Riku are twins, E," Axel said with a smirk. E blushed a little.

"Anyway, Nexus is a Dragon and Riku is a Monkey. It's a big calendar represented by animals. And whatever animal you are defines your personality traits." E glanced at Nexus to make sure she was still paying attention, then continued. "Though I think personality-wise, you are a Horse, which would be your month animal."

Axel snickered quietly, so Nexus poked him in the side, pouting.

"But...but on Earth, in Japan, right now, your birthday would be in November, not June." E looked a little confused at her own remark. "Which is weird. I guess there must be a time difference. Time travels much faster there."

"What, is it an alternate universe or something?" Riku teased her, but E frowned, turning to Riku.

"You don't understand..."

But E had them _all_ confused, so they all just changed the subject into their own private conversations.

Nexus' PoV

"Okay, you guys! Cake is done!" E exclaimed, grinning again. She had apparently forgotten all about the conversation she had just had with us, because her usual cheery self was back in action.

"Yes! Cake!" Sora cheered, practically drooling. I turned to Riku.

"Say, Riku, whaddya say we eat this cake, all by ourselves?" I said, with a side-glance at Sora.

"I think that's a great idea," Riku replied, smirking. Sora's eyes got big and puppy-dog-ish.

"No! You can't do that!" he cried, seriously upset.

"Relax, freak." Riku turned his cool smirk on his brunette friend. "We were just kidding."

"For now," I agreed, nodding once.

"Here you go!"

Setting the cake down in front of us, E smiled.

"Let's sing for them!" she said to the others, who exchanged glances, obviously not nearly as enthusiastic as E. "C'mon, you guys!"

And so the four of them started to sing, and even though I could hear everybody, E's voice rose above the others'. I caught a glance of Riku's expression, and he was smiling a very small, genuine smile, right at E.

"Tanjoubi omedetou~! (Happy birthday~!)" E cheered, clapping her hands.

...

After everyone had eaten their fair share of cake and ice cream and other junk food, we all sort of migrated into the other room.

"Go on, I have to clean up," E said, shooing us away at one point.

"I'll help," I told her, standing.

"No, it's your birthday, onee-chan!" E smiled at me like she thought I was being silly.

"But I love cleaning!" I protested.

"She does," Axel agreed, nodding and rolling his eyes slightly.

"..." E looked doubtful for a moment, then smiled, nodding. "Okay, you can help me! And then, we should dance afterward!"

I wasn't so sure about that part, but I was excited to clean. Yes, I am a neat freak.

As E collected plates, I opened the dishwasher and sighed through my nose.

"What's wrong?" E asked me.

"Ah? Nothing," I replied, smiling.

"You enjoyed yourself, right?"

"Of course!"

She smiled, looking at the dishes in her small hands.

"I'm glad," she murmured. "I hope Riku is happy. I tried to make him smile."

"You did, trust me!" I said, grinning.

"Did he? Sometimes I wonder...why he even loves me." She shrugged, smiling softly.

"What? Why are you saying that?" E didn't respond, which left me really wondering why in the world she'd say something like that. I brought my voice down. "Of _course_ Riku loves you. You're _beautiful_!"

E suddenly froze. I couldn't see her face, so I had no idea what her reaction was.

"...What...did you just call me?" Her voice was completely monotone. I didn't want to lie to her, so I decided just to answer her honestly.

"I said you're beautiful," I murmured. E unfroze, letting out a small laugh.

"No, I'm not," she said sadly.

"Are you kidding me?" I cried, then hushed myself again. I felt that I had hit a key point in knowing E, and I didn't want to attract attention into the kitchen. "Seriously? E, you _are_ beautiful. I mean, sure, you're adorable. There's no question. But you are not only pretty on the outside...you have such a wonderful spirit. You draw people to you. That's one of the many things that makes you beautiful. Do you understand?"

E was quiet for a moment, then out of nowhere, she threw herself into me, hugging me tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered. "You don't understand." She pulled away, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. "When I was younger, no one ever called me beautiful. I understood when I was little...I just thought kids were called 'cute' and the really cute kids were called 'adorable.' But when I got older, I thought maybe someone would call me beautiful.

"But nobody did. Not even my mother or father. If I asked them how I looked if I dressed up, they would say, 'Oh, Eibin, you're so adorable!' And I got really sad, that no one would ever tell me I was beautiful.

"But then...I met Riku, and he saved me from the World That Never Was. I got to know him, and I really started to fall in love with him, but I had never showed him my face. When I finally did...he did it. He just reached out and took off my hood. And he just blurted out, 'You're beautiful.'" E giggle quietly, her cheeks turning a darker shade of pink. "It was so cute. He blushed and got all nervous." Shaking her head, her smile disappeared. "Anyway, besides you, he is the only person that has ever called me beautiful."

I didn't know whether to smile or frown. It was such a touching story, but so sad.

"So, thank you!" E said, smiling brightly. "You know, I have to be sunny. I have to make people happy. To make them forget bad things. I just have to keep smiling every day!"

"...You are a very strong woman, E," I said, a smile making its way onto my face. "And I love you!"

Squeezing her tightly, I giggled, and E squeezed back, also giggling.

"Let's dance!" E shouted when she and Nexus entered the living room. Riku looked slightly amused, while Sora and Kairi looked curious. Axel just looked bored. "I have my iPod!"

"Will this be like your birthday, where Riku crashes into the fireplace again?" Sora asked, grinning. Riku gave him a good knock in the stomach.

"Only it'll be _you_," the birthday boy said, smirking. (Riku: You did NOT just call me that...)

"Violence is never the answer," Nexus said, smiling.

"Hypocrite," Sora and Axel said. Nexus shrugged.

"What can I say? You brought it upon yourselves, then."

"It might just be because you're crazy," Sora said, raising his eyebrows. Nexus sighed.

"Can we just dance already?" Kairi whined, obviously not too happy that the attention of her boyfriend was not focused all upon her.

"Hai! (Yes!)" E exclaimed, pressing 'play' on her iPod.

"What is that thing?" Axel asked, peering at the little rectangular box.

"It plays music!" E replied cheerfully.

"What is this song?" Nexus asked, listening. "It's in...another language." Sure enough, the song was blaring through the speakers in a quick, fast beat, but the words were completely...weird.

"Nihongo! (Japanese!)" E danced in a circle. "My native tongue."

"But it's _techno_," Nexus said, confused.

"It doesn't matter! It's just _music_!"

Ending the discussion, E grabbed Kairi and spun her around. They both laughed like little kids. They both _looked_ like little kids.

"I don't dance," Axel said to Nexus as Riku pulled Sora in, giving him a noogie.

"Me either," Nexus murmured. They both smirked.

"Now you do!"

Without a moment to spare, E snagged Nexus by the arms and pulled her in, dancing with her.

"You don't have a choice!" E cried, grinning.

Nexus was about to protest, but then she remembered what E had told her earlier.

_Just have to keep smiling_...? Nexus thought. _Then I will, too_.

...

Kairi stumbled out of E's way as she and Nexus jumped around like crazy little idiots. For some reason, she was feeling a little woozy. She wasn't sure why, though. It could've been a number of things. Maybe the excess dancing, or the ridiculous amount of junk food she had eaten earlier.

But then she shot a glance at Sora, and she noticed he didn't look too great, either. He caught her eye and nodded. The two of them sat down on the sofa, watching the others be stupid.

"What? What is this nonsense!" Nexus cried, pointing at Kairi and Sora a minute later.

"Why are you not dancing?" E said, looking almost offended.

"I don't feel right," Sora replied, frowning.

"Me either," Kairi added.

"What, you out of shape already?" Riku asked, smirking.

"No, I just don't feel...right. I can't describe it."

"That's how I feel," Kairi said, looking at Sora, concerned.

"The music will make you better!" E cried, sticking out her tongue to the side. "The music will make you forget!"

"Maybe the music is the problem?" Axel suggested. "The combination of sugar and dancing is too much for some people."

"Not for me!" Nexus and E shouted in unison, then laughed at the coincidence.

"Okay, okay," Riku said, sighing. "One more song, and then we'll call it a night."

"It is night, isn't it?" Axel said, glancing out the window.

"Yeah," Nexus said, frowning a little.

"Okay, fine," Sora said, getting to his feet as E changed the song.

Without exchanging any words, Riku and E looked at each other, knowing exactly what they were going to do. E grabbed Kairi's arm, and Riku grabbed Sora's arm. At the exact same time, they threw the two together, hoping they would slam into each other and wake up a little bit.

But instead, Kairi and Sora passed right through each other, and the two that were instead knocked back were both blonde. Everyone was silent.

"Are you okay?" E cried, looking at Kairi, who looked dazed. Then they noticed the blonde girl lying behind her, who also looked dazed, and really, really confused. Sora was the same, with a blonde guy sitting behind him.

"Namine!" Nexus gasped. Namine looked up at her, not knowing what to think. "How?"

"..." Namine sat upright, then looked at Roxas, who looked confused, too. Nobody really knew what was going on.

"Well, I feel better now," Sora said quietly, straightening up.

Nexus' PoV

I had no idea what had just happened, but I didn't particularly care. Namine was back.

"BAAAAAH!" I shouted, tackle-hugging her. It's a good thing she was already sitting on the floor, otherwise she would've gone flying. "YOU'RE HERE!"

Namine didn't reply, but she giggled, hugging me back.

"I've missed you!" she said at last as I pulled her to her feet.

"You're telling me!"

I happened to look over at Axel, who was talking to Roxas. Axel hit Roxas on the back of the head.

"You idiot! Don't make us worry like that!" he shouted, frowning. Roxas just grinned, and soon Axel's face softened. "Good to have you back, brother."

Suddenly E trotted over to Namine, who stood at the same height as Kairi, which was still significantly taller than E. The two were silent, then both sprang into life, hugging each other.

"YOU'RE ADORABLE!" they shouted at each other, laughing.

"Namine, hold up," Roxas said, frowning.

"What's wrong?" she asked, matching his frown.

"Well, don't celebrate yet. Where are we going to stay?"

"With us," I said quickly, hugging Namine. "We have a guest room. More than one, actually."

"We can't stay there forever," Namine pointed out, pouting.

"There are places around town that are hiring," Riku said. "If you both get a decent job, you could probably eventually buy a small house on one of the main islands."

Roxas and Namine looked at each other. I pouted, begging them with my eyes to stay, even if it was just for a little while.

"Well, okay," Namine said, grinning. Roxas sighed, giving in.

"Then let's go home," Axel said, smiling. And the four of us headed out.

...

The next day, Namine and Roxas went job hunting, while Axel went to work. E came over; she had decided to pay a visit as a post-birthday present.

"You should visit more often," I told her while making coffee.

"Are you lonely here all by yourself?" she asked.

"Sometimes," I admitted, half-smiling. "Though, lately..."

"Lately?"

I hesitated, not sure if I should just give out this information to anyone. Then again, E wasn't just anyone, and she had spilled her guts to me before.

"Well, lately, I've had this funny feeling," I said, frowning. "Like...I'm not alone."

"You mean, like someone is spying on you?" E asked, her tiny eyes widening.

"Not exactly. Just the feeling that...there's another presence besides me here." Frankly, it reminded me a bit of Sune, but it wasn't such a looming, dark feeling. Just weird. "So it's nice having you here. You should visit every day!"

"I will!" E exclaimed, grinning. "I want you to feel better!"


	4. Chapter 4: On the Radio

Chapter 4: On the Radio (www . youtube . com/watch?v=tHAhnJbGy9M)

Memo: Who loves Regina Spektor? I DOOOOO! XD Ah, I love this chapter dearly. I feel like this is a good one. Oh, and btw, E is a Shintoist. Haha. XD

Nexus' PoV

"NO!" I screamed to the mysterious stranger standing over me. "Please!"

I couldn't see his eyes because the brim of his hat hung over so far. Only his mouth wasn't shaded, and that curled into a cruel smirk.

I didn't really know how I had gotten in this strange place, but it looked like a warehouse or something. And this man was trying to kill me, but I didn't know why.

The man held up the small electronic bomb he had made just minutes earlier. With just the click of a button, he could detonate it and destroy us...or just me. The latter was more likely, seeing as how I was strapped down to a stretcher.

Grabbing my jaw roughly, the man placed the bomb in my mouth. It felt cold against my tongue.

Before I could react, he snapped my jaw shut, forcing me to swallow. I saw his finger press a button.

I was more than relieved when my eyes popped open and I realized I was in my own room. But I kind of felt like maybe I really had swallowed the bomb or something. My stomach was raging.

"You have the weirdest dreams," Axel said, looking at me. I glanced at him, afraid to speak. "What the hell do you think about before you fall asleep?"

I definitely couldn't answer, or else Axel would be wearing stomach acid and who knows what else.

"Nex?"

Without replying, I sat upright. My stomach raged again, and I slapped a hand over my mouth.

"Nex, what's wrong?"

Not even closing the door behind me, I dashed to the bathroom and yanked open the toilet seat. My stomach turned itself inside-out. I had to wonder why. I must've eaten something bad, or maybe eaten too much. The latter was much more likely. I have the tendency to stuff my face at every given moment.

"Nex, are you okay?" Axel asked when I finally stopped. I looked up at him.

"I dunno," I whispered, my throat burning. "I..."

Quickly I held up my finger as if to say, "Hold that thought" and rolfed one more time.

"Maybe I should stay home..." Axel said, frowning, concerned. I frowned back. Now that Namine and Roxas had both found jobs, they had moved out into an apartment on one of the main islands, meaning I spent most days alone again.

"Don't," I told him. "We need the munny."

"I know, but..."

"I think I'm okay now," I said, exhaling slowly.

"But what if you aren't?"

"Then I'll call someone to take me to the doctor."

"And if no one's home?"

"I'll either call you or just take myself," I said, irritated. I didn't need a babysitter. "E does nothing during the day anyway, so if I need her, I can call her. She comes over every day anyway." Which was true. Ever since I had said I felt another presence E was over without fail every day.

"Not today," Axel said, smirking. I sighed through my nose. "Fine. I see her on my way to work every day. I'll tell her you're sick."

"'Kay," I said, slowly getting to my feet. My stomach was still angry, but not as much as it just had been. Now it was probably just irritated at all the wretching I did.

Moving very, very slowly, I crawled back into bed as Axel got ready for work.

_If I'm not feeling better by ten, I'll go to the doctor_, I told myself, closing my eyes.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, Axel! (Good morning, Axel!)" E shouted, waving as Axel approached her. Axel smiled.

"Good morning, E," he greeted back. "Hey, uh, Nex is sick today."

"NANI? (WHAT?)" E gasped. "Sick? No! I will take care of her!" Pumping a fist into the air, E put on a determined look.

"You probably shouldn't. She's really sick."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, how can I say this..." Axel smirked. "Let's just say I saw what she had for dinner _twice_."

E wrinkled her nose. "Poor thing." Sighing, she rocked back and forth on her heels. "Wellll, then I guess I'll stay home today. I'll pray for her good health."

"Thanks." Axel smiled, and the two parted ways.

...

"Ugh..." Nexus forced herself upright, staring at the clock. It was past ten, and she still felt pretty wack. "I told myself I'd go to the doctor..."

Glancing at the phone, she sighed again and gave in. Throwing the covers off of her, Nexus slowly walked into the kitchen, looking up the phone number for the local doctor.

"If they don't answer, I'm not going," she grumbled, dialing the number from the kitchen phone. It rang twice and then clicked.

"Hello?" the person on the other line said. It was a female. Nexus wasn't sure it would be, since it was one of those names that could be either masculine or feminine.

"Hi, do you have any openings in your schedule today?"

So, twenty minutes later, Nexus found herself on the ferry heading toward the main district of the "town." It was particularly crowded that day, so there was nowhere to sit down. She didn't mind too much, since she could at least feel a breeze. It was a nice day.

"You can sit down if you like."

Turning her head slightly, Nexus looked right into the blue eyes of a strange man she had never seen before.

"I'm alright, thanks," she replied, smiling fakely.

"No, no, I insist." The man gestured to his seat.

Her smile fading, Nexus glanced at the seat, then at the man. She had seen this happen too many times before. Because she didn't wear a ring, men assumed her to be single and eligible.

"I promise, I'm fine," she said coldly.

The man looked ready to protest again, but luckily the ferry stopped, and Nexus made her getaway.

...

"So, Nexus, right?" the doctor said, smiling. She had wild, dark-brown hair that was frizzy but at the same time pretty. She wore bright red lipstick and glasses with frames the same colors. Her blue eyes popped.

"Yeah," Nexus replied, nodding once. She had never been to a doctor like this before. Nothing this...personal.

"Well, first, I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Doctor Spektor, but you can just call me Reggie." Reggie crossed one leg over the other. "Now, what's going on?"

"I'm hoping you can tell me," Nexus said, grimacing. "I was fine yesterday, but this morning, it was like all hell let loose."

"Explain."

Cringing, Nexus went on. "I threw up, like...four times, and my stomach is still sort of weird. And I feel a little dizzy. And really tired."

As Nexus went on, Reggie nodded, at first jotting down notes, but then she stopped, taking off her glasses and perching them in her hair.

"Nexus-sorry to interrupt," she said, smiling. Nexus shrugged. "Tell me if this is an impossibility: could you be pregnant?"

"Excuse me?" Nexus said, her ears getting hot. "I mean, I heard what you said. You don't have to repeat yourself." Reggie smiled again understandingly. "But...well, it's definitely not an impossibility, no."

Her heart pounding, Nexus pretended to be focused on a crack in the old-fashioned tile.

"Well, then maybe _that's_ your problem. Not that it's a problem." Standing, Reggie walked over to a cabinet. "I can test you for it, if you like."

"Let's," Nexus heard herself say as her mind exploded.

_Well, _this _is unexpected_, she thought. _Seriously_? _I didn't know it was possible_. ..._Well, yes, I did, I guess_...

Nexus' PoV

"Thanks again," I said, smiling at Reggie, who smiled back, showing pearly white teeth. Not a smudge of red lipstick on them.

"Not a problem," she replied, shaking her head. A stray fuzzy curl escaped and bounced on the top of her ear. It was a little bit distracting. "See you next month."

"Yeah."

Carefully and slowly, I walked out of the room, down the hallway, and then I don't know where next. I just sort of walked.

I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it, though I really should've. But I was happy. No, that's an understatement.

_Oh my gosh_! I thought, smiling. _This is so crazy! I never would've thought this would happen to me. I guess that means I'm old now. Well, whatever. Kids are cute and I love them. Especially this one. "This one"? Well, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, so right now, it's "this one." I wonder what I should do now. Should I call Axel? What will I tell him? I don't know what to say. He'll be happy though...won't he? He should be...but that doesn't mean he _will _be_!

Suddenly the happy feeling went far, far away. I dashed into the nearest restroom, my heart racing.

_Oh no_, I thought. _What if he's mad? What if...what if he doesn't want it? Or even worse, what if he makes me have an abortion? I...I would have to leave. But I couldn't! Where would I go? What would I do? I couldn't support myself, let alone this one_! _Can we even afford it together_?

Near tears, I quickly splashed cold water onto my face. I relaxed, slowly looking up at my reflection in the mirror.

_Ugh, the pink is growing out._ I tugged on my hair, frowning. _Well, it isn't fitting anymore, so I guess I'll dye it today. That leaves me time to think over what I'll tell Axel. Maybe I should get books while I'm at the store. In case he thinks I'm not prepared_.

The superstore was relatively empty, probably because it was a Tuesday afternoon, and nobody does anything on Tuesdays except work, work, and more work. I didn't have much munny on me after having to pay for that appointment, but I had just enough for two books and the black hair dye.

The cashier was a young man probably around my age, maybe a year or two younger. When he saw the books, he smiled.

"Congratulations," he said.

"Oh, not for me," I said quickly. _What the hell? Why am I denying this_? "My sister. She's scared sick and told me to pick these up for her."

"Scared?"

"Her first one."

"Ah, I see." The cashier then rang up the hair dye.

"_That's _for me," I said with a smirk.

He didn't ask me any more questions after that, but he did wish "my sister" luck and told me to have a nice day.

_Well, we'll see,_ I thought, but just smiled and wished him the same.

Nobody talked to me on the ferry this time around, and I was grateful. I desperately needed to collect my thoughts. Even then, the sounds of the waves hitting the boat wasn't enough to calm me.

I thought about calling E, but I really, really wanted to talk to Axel first. After all, he definitely shared responsibility with me on this one. Obviously.

At home, there were no messages, and I still had a few hours until Axel got home. That gave me time not only to dye my hair, but to come up with a plan and maybe even take a nap, which was sounding fabulous.

I started with my hair, meticulously covering the pink streaks with smelly, dark dye, and eventually I wrapped it up into a shower cap and waited for it to dry. Looking into the mirror, I sighed through my nose.

_I can't believe it_, I repeated, staring at myself. _Who are you? Who _are_ you? I don't know who you are anymore. You've become someone different, but you've also become someone better_.

I glanced at my stomach, pouting a little.

_It figures, just as I look my best_, I thought, turning to the side. _I haven't looked this healthy in a while. Maybe this is good timing, then_.

A dash of color caught my eye, and I looked down to see some little sticky notes that Axel had brought home from work. We would use them all the time to leave notes to each other.

_Ah, that's it_! I thought, having an epiphany. _I can make this a game, kind of... After all, I really do think this needs a pretty big build-up_...

"I'm home! Hello?" Axel called out, opening the front door. The house was silent. "Nex?"

Closing the door behind him, Axel looked to the kitchen table to see a little yellow sticky note. He assumed that meant Nexus was at the doctor, but when he read it, he found out otherwise.

"I have something to tell you," the note read, "but you have to find me first. :)"

Sighing, Axel looked down the hallway. The bedroom door was closed, so that pretty much gave her hiding place away, but he was curious to see the other notes, in case there were clues.

Though he found each and every one of the sticky notes, there were no clues, just taunts and teases and things like "you fail. :)" and other unkined comments written on them. So, frustrated, Axel finally went into the bedroom. He was a little surprised when he saw Nexus lying there, completely asleep. But what really shocked him was her hair.

Axel saw that Nexus had put a sticky note on herself that read, "Wake me up."

"No more pink?" Axel said, pushing Nexus' jet black hair out of her face. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Huh?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

"No more pink, I said."

"Yeah, it didn't seem fitting anymore," she replied, hiding a smile as she peeled the sticky note off of her thigh.

"You said you had something to tell me," Axel said, changing the subject.

"Yes," Nexus said, grinning. "You have to close your eyes." Axel gave her a suspicious look. "No, really. Trust me."

After a moment's pause, Axel finally sighed and closed his eyes. He felt Nexus take his hand and put it somewhere on her skin.

"Say hello," she said quietly, a smile in her voice.

"Hello?" Axel's eyes shot open, and the first thing he saw was his hand on Nexus' lower abdomen, which really didn't mean anything at first to him, but then his brain started rolling, and everything just clicked in. "Hell no! Really?"

"You're...not mad, are you?" Nexus asked cautiously.

Nexus' PoV

"Mad? No way!" Axel exclaimed, and I could've cried from relief. "I just don't have a single word that explains how I feel right now. I mean, this is incredible, but also kind of terrifying at the same time."

"You think you're scared?" I said, sitting upright. "_You_ don't have to have it inside of you."

"Yeah, you're not allowed to leave this room ever again," Axel teased me. I pouted, and then we both laughed. I was so relieved. But I guess I shouldn't have been worried. After all, his family was big, so he was used to kids and the like.

"Have you told anyone else yet?" Axel asked, and I shook my head.

"I wanted to tell you first," I answered, beaming.

"Then let's call someone!" Axel grabbed the phone. "Who first?"

"Actually...I was thinking, maybe we could see who guesses first," I said, laughing. Axel's face went blank, then suddenly he got this huge smirk on his face, and I immediately regretting saying anything.

"Yeah, you know what? That's a good idea," he said, slowly putting down the phone. "And you know what else we should do? We should make a bet on it."

"A bet? You're on!" Like I would pass up an opportunity like that.

"Alright, then I place my bet on Sora." I burst out laughing. "Don't laugh. You and I both know he knows you really well."

"Ah, but I think you forgot one person who knows me even better: Namine." I smirked. "She and I spent a _year _in confinment together. I think she'd notice if suddenly I was acting differently." I felt really confident about this, especially going against Axel's belief that Sora (what a joke!) would guess first. "I bet that if Namine guesses first, you have to..." I couldn't think of anything good for a while, but then it hit me. Something really crazy. "You have to find where your family is."

Axel stopped, frowning.

"Fine, then if I win, you have to find out if your parents are alive," he said. I pouted. I really didn't want to do that. I felt like this was unfair.

"I'm doubling my bet!" I cried, leaning forward on my knees. "If I win, not only do you have to find your family, but you have to _talk_ to them."

"Then if I win," Axel said quickly, "not only do you have to find out if your parents are alive, but you _also_ have to _talk_ to them."

I groaned, pounding my fists on the bed and smashing my face down into the covers. If I lost, I would have to actually go and find my parents, something that really scared me.

But I truly felt confident that Axel wouldn't win. I mean, I could've bet on E, but even she didn't know me as well as Namine, and Riku and Roxas weren't likely either. And let's face it: Kairi didn't even WANT to know me, so she was obviously not a candidate. So that left Namine and Sora, and Namine was the better choice.

"Fine," I said, looking up at Axel. He smirked. "You're on. No cheating, no giving hints, nothing."

"A bet is a bet, fair and square," Axel said, crossing his arms and smirking at me. "Might as well start asking around."


	5. Chapter 5: No Rain Can Get the Rainbow

Chapter 5: No Rain Can Get the Rainbow (www . youtube . com/watch?v=4xnncrm_bXY)

Memo: Pant, pant, pant... This chapter was tough! I had to be so careful outlining the time connections and what not... Ansem would be so proud, I think! TT_TT lol

Nexus sighed angrily, her nose curling up in rage. Putting her hands on her slightly-larger hips, she glared at Sora suspiciously.

"Nexus, I'm not lying," the brunette insisted, frowning. "The King really does want to talk to you."

"About what?" Nexus snapped. "What could he possibly want to talk to me about?"

"Apparently something important, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered." Sora held out a note with the King's unmistakable seal on it. "You can read it for yourself if you want, but I'm telling you, he didn't say specifically what he wanted to talk to you or E about. Or even me."

"I don't want to read it, okay? I believe you," Nexus said.

"Then why are you mad?" Sora asked, getting angry himself. Nobody else ever acted this way except Nexus.

"Because I already had important plans for today," she sighed.

"What kind of plans?" Sora smirked at her. She narrowed her eyes in response. "Nothing illegal, I hope?"

"Been there, done that," Nexus replied with an even bigger smirk. "No, actually, I had a doctor's appointment later this afternoon, and it's important that I go."

"Can't you just reschedule?"

"She owns her own practice, therefore she is private, therefore probably not." Nexus sighed deeply. "Look, if it's really so important, I guess I can try calling her and reschedule."

"Do it," Sora insisted. He was a little taken aback by her sudden change of mind, but he didn't complain, in case she turned back to her original decision.

As Nexus walked into her house and picked up the phone, Sora turned his attention to the soft footsteps behind him.

"What's going on?" Axel asked as he approached Sora, jacket slung over his back.

"The King wants to meet with me, E, and Nexus today," Sora replied. Axel raised an eyebrow. "No idea."

Sighing quietly, Axel walked inside, and Nexus turned to him, glancing at Sora.

"Can you reschedule?" Axel asked her, setting down his stuff.

"I'm trying," she said, with another quick glance at Sora. She was nervous that this would be a big clue to the fact that something was going on, which meant she would lose their bet, but Sora was oblivious, as always, to any unusual behavior.

Instead, Sora was leaning against the doorway's frame, not even listening to their conversation, but to the sound of the surf nearby. He was thankful to be in the shade, since the morning sun was beating down as harshly as it could. But it was the beginning of August, which called for the most miserable weather.

"Alright, Sora," Nexus said monotonously. He looked at her without moving anything but his eyes. "Let's go."

"_Finally_," he complained, hopping out of Nexus' way as she walked through the door.

"Don't make me change my mind," she growled, kicking the bottom of his foot as he walked in front of her.

When they reached the ship, E was already there waiting.

"Onee-chan!" she cried, nearly tackling Nexus. "Wahhh!"

"Are you still mourning the fact that I got rid of the pink in my hair?" Nexus asked, laughing.

"Pink is my favorite color!" E told her.

"So you've said."

Pouting, E sniffed, and Nexus couldn't help but give her a big squeeze.

"You're so cute!" she cried, and E knew what she meant.

Nexus' PoV

"It's good to see you again!" the King exclaimed when we walked into his throne room. He was genuinely happy, that was for sure.

"Same here, Your Majesty!" E cried, bowing low. She mumbled a polite little "desu" to herself, then grinned broadly.

"So, you're probably wondering why I called the three of you here," the King said, smiling. "Well, none of it is related, so I'll just talk to you all one at a time. E, we'll start with you."

"Ichiban desu!" E chirped, trotting over to the King.

"Nexus, you and Sora can wait in the library if you'd like," the King said. I nodded, more than happy to get off my feet.

"Okay, sure," Sora said, and together we walked into the library, immediately lounging in the giant chairs.

"Why were you going to the doctor, anyway?" Sora asked me, and I shrugged it off, my heart racing. There was no way I was going I'd let Axel win this bet.

"Just a normal appointment, that's all," I replied. "I'm not sick or anything. I mean, I was not all that long ago, so I went to the doctor then, and she scheduled this appointment as a normal visit."

"Oh, I see," Sora said, leaning back in his chair. He looked tired.

"Are _you_ okay?" I asked.

"Eh, more or less," he responded, shrugging half-heartedly. "Just some stuff's been bothering me."

"Like what?"

"Like this."

"Ah." I nodded. "Do you know why you're here?"

"I think so. I think...I might have to leave again for a little while."

"And I bet Kairi's pissed, right?" Sora nodded, probably surprised I guessed that. But it wasn't hard-I could tell by the look on his face that she was a part of the problem.

"Onee-chan!"

E poked her head through the library door.

"Your turn!" she giggled, pulling me to my feet. I pouted.

"Okay, okay, I'm going," I told her, managing to smile. Slowly I shuffled outside, shutting the library door behind me.

"Hiya, Nexus!" the King cried. I smiled.

"Hello, Your Majesty," I said. "What's going on?"

"Well, Nexus, I meant to give these things to you a long time ago, but Riku told me you were all busy building a house," he replied, smiling. I nodded. "So, now that you're done with that, you'll have time to read these."

The King held out a small stack of papers.

"What are they?" I asked, taking them.

"Ansem Reports. The real ones."

My jaw dropped a little.

"Sora found them last year, and now I've collected them and put them in order. I thought it would be important for you to read them. It might bring some things to light for you."

"Thank you so much!" I cried, hugging the papers to my chest. "I'll read them as soon as I get home."

"There is one more thing," the King said. "I never did properly thank you for what you did for Sora and the others."

"Oh, it's okay!" I said quickly, shaking my head. Didn't he realize that my motivation was actually Axel?

"No, I insist." The King gestured to a sack behind him. "After all you did, it's only fair that I pay you."

I felt my heart swell in joy. I couldn't believe how nice he was being.

"Thank you so much!" I cried, my knees shaking. "You have no idea how much this helps us right now!"

"What do you mean?" King Mickey asked.

I debated telling him for a moment, but after all the kindness he had just shown me, I thought it was only fair that I tell him the news.

"Well, okay, I'll tell you, but you can't tell anyone because Axel and I are betting on who will figure it out first." When the King nodded, I continued. "...I'm pregnant."

"Golly! Really? Congratulations!" I put a finger to my lips, trying to silence him. "Sorry. But that's great! This is your dream, isn't it?"

My throat caught in embarrassment, thinking back to the conversation we had in Hollow Bastion.

"I guess so," I murmured. Sighing happily, I bowed. "Thank you so much, Your Majesty. Do you want me to bring Sora in now?"

**Secret Ansem Report 1**

My efforts these many years have come to fruitation, with the world I govern having become a paradise worthy of being called "Radiant Garden." Nurtured by the pure water that is the source of life, fragrant flowers bloom in abundance, and the people face each day with hopeful smiles. But where there is light, darkness always lurks. As noted in my earlier reports, I must solve the mystery of this "darkness of the heart." This paradise depends on it.

I shall perform and experiment to probe the depths of a person's heart. One of my own apprentices, Xehanort, has volunteered to be a subject. The young man has served me ever since I nursed him back from death's door some years ago. He had lost all his memories at the time, but later showed remarkable intellectual curiosity and readily absorbed my teachings, gaining deep wisdom. Any mental immaturity is surely due to his young age.

The other possible option would be a younger child of eleven. Sune, as she is called, is also somewhat of a mystery to me. Although seemingly normal, she has a sort of strange alter ego. Leaving me in her care, her parents are giving me the chance to reconnect the missing parts of her soul: the light and dark together. But is this possible?

I have digressed...

If I explore Xehanort's heart with psychological tests, I may be able to recall the past locked away within. My apprentice, Even, has also shown great interest in Xehanort's memories. But is he really the right subject? Xehanort does indeed exhibit extraordinary talents…

Too extraordinary…

Perhaps they are even superhuman.

**Secret Ansem Report 2**

I have made a grave mistake.

My study of the "darkness of the heart" began with a simple psychological test and quickly snowballed. Spurred on by my youngest apprentice, Ienzo, I constructed a massive laboratory in the basement of my castle. Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the "darkness of the heart."

As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far. What on earth was happening within the hearts of my six beloved apprentices? While pursuing the mystery of the darkness of the heart, could they have strayed into its depths?

Yet I remain the most foolish of all, for having begun these experiments.

We are not meant to interfere in the depths of another's heart, no matter what our reasons for doing so…

And my error plunged me into despair.

A visitor from another world soothed my dejected soul. A tiny king named Mickey came wielding a legendary key – the infamous "Keyblade," said to bring both chaos and prosperity to the world. He was very knowledgeable on many topics, and we deepened our friendship as we conversed compassionately.

Upon his advice, I decided to review the data obtained at my basement lab. That is when I discovered the "Ansem Reports." Though they bore my name, the only one I had written was #0. Apparently he had gone to pen numbers 1 through 8 himself. Yes – the first subject of my foolish experiments.

My apprentices aren't the only people changing. Sune has now begun to succumb to this alter ego, the darker side of her. I have begun to call this side "Nexus." "Nexus" is nothing like Sune; she is much more than I'll admit I can handle sometimes. Rebellious and defiant, this other side has done anything she can to separate herself mentally from Sune. In doing this, Sune is losing herself. Perhaps she is a lost cause.

**Secret Ansem Report 3**

Chaos affects not only this world but many other worlds besides. In the "Ansem Reports" my apprentice Xehanort had written under his name, I found the records of his hideous experiments along with his hypothesis about the door that had appeared out of the darkness in my basement.

All living things have hearts, and all hearts hold darkness deep within. Worlds are no exception. If a world is a being, the heart it holds must be colossal…and the darkness at its core must be monstrous indeed.

Did Xehanort pass through that door in an attempt to contact the dark realm? No, not only Xehanort. It appears my other five apprentices, believing it was for the sake of research, stared deep into the darkness and were pulled into it.

Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan, and Aeleus… They have ceased to be human. I too have had everything taken away from me, banished to a hollow realm of nothingness. What is Xehanort hoping to gain with my pilfered existence? Will my people cease to smile? If the light of hope has been extinguished, I shall henceforth walk with darkness as a friend.

Here, in the realm of nothingness to which I have been relegated. Darkness in the midst of nothing. "Darkness in Zero." Thus I shall be known as DiZ. Discarding the stolen name "Ansem"! And going in search of revenge.

My first method of attack is somewhat unexpected. Nexus is now the more dominate side and has taken control of both parts of the soul. She sometimes reminds me of a parasite, taking advantage of the host and feeding on it, choking and corroding it. But, for once, she will become of some use to me.

Since Nexus was present at the time of my apprentices' betrayal, and my lab is completely destroyed, I have no way of bringing back Sune. However, Nexus will serve as my new apprentice, one hopefully wiser than the last.

**Secret Ansem Report 4**

The distant days spent in that beautiful paradise are an illusion to me now. How long have I been here, banished to the realm of nothingness? It is only by relying upon my anger and hatred that I have been able to retain my sense of self here, where all existence is nullified. My heart is being overcome with hatred toward my apprentices, possessed by the darkness, and with the anger I feel for stupidly allowing myself to be betrayed.

Is the darkness eating away at my heart? I cannot continue to idle away my time here. What are Xehanort and the other attempting to do? I must unravel the mystery of these "Ansem Reports," intercept my apprentices, and defeat them. That is my mission…the only way to repay the world for my sins. Those beings who lack hearts – Heartless – must be the key. The darkness of the heart, made flesh. Cursed shadows who not only lack hearts, but multiply by seizing hearts from any and all living things. Where have they come from, and where are they going?

3 elements combine to create life: a heart, a soul, and a body. But what of the soul and body left behind when the heart is lost? When the soul leaves the body, its vessel, life gives way to death, but what about when the heart leaves? A being does not perish when its heart leaves its body. The heart alone disappears in the darkness. There is little time. If I remain in the realm much longer, I will certainly learn these lessons the hard way. My heart is already a captive of the darkness.

**Secret Ansem Report 5**

In this realm, where all existence has been disintegrated, I have just barely managed to preserve my sense of self by continuing to think and write. It is a place where even time has lost all meaning. Eternity is but a moment here. I must make haste. Certainly their plans are already underway.

I have sent Nexus out to search undercover for my former apprentices. She has reported back several times, finding no leads yet. Her soul is on the line, so I know she will try her hardest not to fail.

The heartless must be the key to unraveling this mystery. The six traitors were operating a laboratory that churned out those cursed shadows. Not only did they generate "pureblood" Heartless from living hearts, but they then used those Heartless to synthesize artificial versions of these creatures as well. These synthetic Heartless bore insignias and were called "Emblems." Pureblood of Emblem, these Heartless act only to fulfill their instinctive needs. They single-mindedly detect hearts and swarm around them. A human's command would be ineffective: the Heartless would easily steal the human's heart and use it to increase their own ranks.

But what if an even stronger Heartless was giving the orders? If he cast aside his own soul and body and became a Heartless, wouldn't he be able to control the otherwise intractable Heartless? Furthermore, wouldn't he be planning to make use of the creatures' instincts? If the heart-seeking Heartless have their sights set on a larger, more powerful heart, their goal is crystal-clear. The largest heart in existence – the heart of the world. This is all conjecture, but it would seem he is utilizing the Heartless in his search for a path leading to the heart of the world.

**Secret Ansem Report 6**

My choice to befriend darkness here in the midst of nothingness was a sound one. The moment I stared straight ahead with a calm heart, neither rejecting darkness, nor fearing it, I gain a newfound power. A superhuman power—the power of darkness.

It is likely Xehanort and the others were enraptured by this power, eventually becoming its prisoners. I do not intend to allow my heart to be devoured by the darkness as they did, of course.

With this new power, I uncovered a "corridor of darkness" that connects the realm of nothingness to the outside world. While it is difficult to come and go as I please, my banishment is now a thing of the past.

To deceive Xehanort and my apprentices, I first used my power to change form before returning to the realm of light.

Nexus is doing well. She has found some valuable information, and I have sent her on her own to destroy the traitors.

As I had expected, Xehanort had become a Heartless. Under my name, he commanded other Heartless in quests to snatch away the hearts of many different worlds.

At the center of the hearts Xehanort had stolen was "Kingdom Hearts," which attracts tremendous darkness to itself and attempts to send away any and all matter back into its depths.

The other five have disappeared. Have they become Heartless, like Xehanort? Or did they vanish after Xehanort had exploited them?

I became familiar with an unusual "entity" while pursuing the truth. It is the soul and body that remain when a being loses its heart. When a Heartless is born, these entities disappear from the realm of light, to be reborn as entirely new beings in a completely different realm.

**Secret Ansem Report 7**

While beings born of darkness and those lacking hearts may find them convenient, it is dangerous for others to make much use of the corridors of darkness. Darkness erodes the heart. Nexus is proof of this fact.

In search of a place to proceed with my research and planning away from prying eyes, I found myself in Twilight Town. It is a quiet village, forgotten in the chasm between light and darkness. I situated myself in the basement of an abandoned mansion standing beyond the woods. My underground research resulted in one new discovery after another.

When a Heartless is born, the body and soul left behind are reborn into this world as a different being. They possess different intentions than their Heartless brethren, and while it is unclear what these sentiment "things" are after, it would appear they are responsible for much bedlam in the world.

My dearst friend the King and his subjects, along with a hero wielding the Keyblade, are battling the Heartless even as a new threat approaches. This new threat…they have given themselves a fitting name, I suppose. These non-beings: "Nobodies."

A great number of Nobodies have lost human form, as have the Heartless. Yet the Nobody born of someone with a strong heart retains its shape, with but the faintest visible changes.

Once again, news from Nexus comes in surprisingly large quantities.

It appears my betrayers have retained their human forms as Nobodies, and are gathering more followers in hopes of furthering a new scheme.

"Organization XIII," formed of 13 Nobodies with my betrayers at its core, has divided into two; they are said to be carrying out some sort of research.

Seeking to uncover the plans of this Organization, I have decided to where 6 of its members have gathered. Towering over the outer limbs of the realm between darkness and light: Castle Oblivion.

**Secret Ansem Report 8**

It appears that I have been too distracted by the behavior of Xehanort and his cohorts, and by the events occurring in their vicinity.

My friends' struggle to protect the realm of light for the Heartless is now over, with Xehanort's Heartless – going by the name Ansem, Seeker of Darkness – defeated at last. The other wielder of the Keyblade, this "hero" traveled from world to world sealing up keyholes and laving Heartless low.

Meanwhile, the King, who had dived into the realm of darkness, worked with the Keyblade-wielding hero to close the door to Kingdom Hearts from the realms of both darkness and light, thus holding off the threat of tremendous darkness.

But there are still a great number of Heartless afoot, and Organization XIII and the Nobodies continue to be active in the shadows. Indeed, the world is still a very dangerous place. We must find a way to do battle with these enemies. Thus I will both make amends and have my revenge. It is for this reason that I infiltrated Castle Oblivion. It consists of 13 floors above and 12 floors below ground, with the contents of its "White Rooms" transforming in response to its visitor's memories. Organization XIII was conducting experiments of memories here. The subject in these experiments, a girl named Namine, appeared to possess extremely unusual abilities.

Were they attempting to derive something from these powers?

Refusing to be distracted by Organization XIII, I had returned to my own secret research when a new visitor appeared at the castle today.

It was Sora, the Keyblade-wielding hero who had defeated Ansem, and his companions.

Deep underground, the stench arose.

All the players are coming together, it would seem.

I have sent Nexus to the aboveground floors to eliminate all of the traitors. I have not heard from her since.

**Secret Ansem Report 9**

I should have expected nothing less from a Keyblade-wielding hero. Sora and his friends defied the machinations of Organization XIII and rescued Namine. Namine was a witch who controlled the memories of others. Most likely these powers were achieved through a special process when she was born. Namine is a Nobody, created when a young girl's heart left her body. Yet she had no corresponding Heartless.

This is because the "young girl" in this case was a princess. Kairi, a resident of Radiant Garden over which I had ruled, was one of the Seven Princesses that uphold the realm of light. With no darkness in her heart, Kairi produced no Heartless, and instead of vanishing, her body remained in the realm of light.

In other words, both the Nobody called Namine and the Heartless – proof of a lost heart – are extremely unstable beings who lack the bodies needed to produce a Nobody. Therefore, they also lack Kairi's memories. One reason for this may be that Kairi's heart did not return to the darkness when separated from her body, but rather migrated to another vessel…deep within Sora's heart. That is, Namine is an alter ego of the Kairi who has directly interfered with Sora's heart. Could this be why Sora and those whose hearts are connected to him were able to have their memories controlled? She is a non-being in the truest sense of the word; having not become a Nobody and with nowhere left to go, she is but the most fleeting of shadows.

Or is she?

Nexus has still not been able to reach me, even though we are in such close proximity.

Nexus...Sune...such a strange being.

Neither one is complete without the other, which gives them the similarities of a Nobody. However, neither one has died because of such a connection. Something incredible will have to happen for the two of these souls to finally separate.

**Secret Ansem Report 10**

Sora went to sleep to recover the memories he lost in Castle Oblivion. It would take some time to bring back all the memories he had created in his lifetime. But Organization XIII held sway over Castle Oblivion. Sora would need to be kept someplace more secure.

I persuaded Namine to move the slumbering Sora to Twilight Town for safekeeping.

I found with her Nexus.

To avoid any conflict possible, Nexus was rendered unconcious and moved with Namine and Sora to Twilight Town. It appears she has somewhat completed her mission. But...one never knows with that one.

Namine. As I have written here before, she is a most unusual being. Born of the same process as a Nobody, but lacking virtually all of the elements of a Nobody. Perhaps she continues drawing in hopes of capturing that which she lacks: the memories of others, especially Sora.

I have arrived at a hypothesis. I believe that Namine was born as a special type of Nobody when Sora attacked himself with the Keyblade, causing his and Kairi's hearts to leave their bodies simultaneously. Namine emerged as Kairi's Nobody… but the body and soul necessary to exist as a Nobody belonged to Sora.

When a person's heart is stolen, a Heartless is born with no sense of self, and the body and soul left behind gave rise to a Nobody. But what if one willingly releases one's heart from one's body? Sora and Xehanort retained their selfhood even after becoming Heartless.

Then there are Kairi and Namine. Kairi was exceptional for having no darkness within her heart. Also exceptional was that her heart, once freed, migrated to a new vessel – Sora. The combination of these two theoretically unlikely exceptions may be behind this anomaly.

There are matters I must attend to while Sora is sleeping.

A new ally has appeared on the scene: Riku.

**Secret Ansem Report 11**

I was reunited with an old friend at Castle Oblivion, but was unable to disclose my identity. If he knew the situation, he would likely try to stop me from carrying out my revenge. As much as I would dearly love to converse with him as in the old days…that is now but a hopeless dream.

My friend has been fighting in the realm of darkness. Most likely he found his way there through Traverse Town. Like Castle Oblivion, that village also rests in a cleft between light and dark. It consists of the remnants of worlds whose hearts have been stolen by the Heartless. It is where those who have barely escaped the destruction of their worlds eventually find themselves. This "realm between" is quite unstable with corridors of darkness appearing from time to time. Whenever a world disappears, some of its inhabitants must arrive through these corridors. Surely Sora traveled these same corridors of darkness when he first came to Traverse Town.

It seems my friend, fighting in the realm of darkness, appeared in Castle Oblivion through a corridor of darkness constructed by Organization XIII. My new ally Riku also affected his return via one of these corridors. He swore to me he would give his all for his best friend Sora. In fact, Sora's memories have been slow to return. Thus I have asked Riku to bring me another Sora – his Nobody. Sora is indispensable if I am to achieve my goal. I require the Keyblade-wielding hero to fly through the realm of light and defeat Organization XIII.

**Secret Ansem Report 12**

Apart from Namine, Nobodies retain their memories of their time as humans, but Sora's Nobody, Roxas, has lost his memories. This is likely because Sora's time as a Heartless was short, having recovered his heart and returned to his human form soon after leaving behind Roxas, his Nobody. It would seem Roxas is much like Namine. Namine is Kairi's Nobody, but came into being via Sora's body and soul.

Likewise, Roxas is Sora's Nobody, but was left behind because Sora's Heartless regained human form using Kairi's heart instead of his own. It may be that Sora's memories are slow to return because the half of him that is Roxas is still lacking. I must convert Roxas into data and return him to Sora. As a member of Organization XIII, it was exceedingly difficult to bring Roxas in. Having lost to Roxas once, Riku laid everything on the line and used the power of darkness in their second battle, only just managing to bring Roxas back with him.

But Organization XIII grows ever nearer. Here Twilight Town is where Roxas was reborn as a Nobody. This is where Roxas first encountered Organization XIII and joined its ranks. They are bound to search this place thoroughly. First I shall convert all of Twilight Town into data and construct a "world duplicate" in Sora's memories. There is little time. The Organization's schemes must be making steady progress as well.

And, as it seems, Nexus has joined them.

I had feared this from the beginning. It seems she has made some sort of a deal with an A.W.O.L. member of Organization XIII, Number VIII, Axel. Although I don't know the details of their so-called "plan," I have seen her loyalities change.

Apparently she is more concerned for this Nobody's safety than her own.

Fool.

**Secret Ansem Report 13**

Tomorrow Sora awakens. My long and drawn-out revenge is nearing its end.

Xehanort, who took everything away from me. Though as a Heartless, he is no more, as the leader of Organization XIII his ambition once again is to capture Kingdom Hearts, the most colossal heart of all. His Heartless had attempted to draw out the great darkness of Kingdom Hearts, created from the hearts of all worlds. His Nobody, however, is now almost finished gathering human hearts to be assimilated into Kingdom Hearts as well.

Only one mystery remains.

How did Xehanort manage to open the door that appeared in the basement of my castle…? No… any theory posited me now, when everything is nearing completion, would be meaningless.

Roxas, Ansem, Namine…

They defy all logic, yet there they are: singular exceptions to the rule.

The theories proposed by me and by Organization XIII have been blown to pieces by a handful of strong hearted individuals.

Sora, Kairi, Riku.

Ah yes – Riku.

Though his heart had its weaknesses, making it prone to darkness, he found support in the hope he discovered beyond suffering. This hope allowed him to stand his ground and turn the darkness in his heart from an enemy into his greatest weapon. When all this is over, it is my fervent hope that he will be able to return with Sora to his island.

If I can, I should like to return to Radiant Garden, to look once more upon the beautiful water, the lovely flowers, and the hopeful smiles of the people.

Dear King, my friend!

I believe that, at some point in time, you will come across these, my truthful accounts.

How I wish I could have chatted with you again. I was a fool obsessed with revenge.

Forgive me.

There is one final thing I would like to say.

Nexus...Sune...if you ever lay your eyes upon these records...

Forgive me as well.

Both of you are misunderstood beings that will never share a wholeness with one another. It is likely I will never know about your fates. But, nevertheless, I am sorry to both of you for never helping you fully. If you can find it within you to forgive me, please...

Nexus' PoV

I felt Axel's hand rest on my shoulder as I set down the last sheet of Ansem's report. Everything felt distant, though, and I pulled Axel down next to me on the sofa, resting my pounding head on his shoulder.

"He really did care," I said, my own voice sounding faint. "But now I can never see him again."

"Everything happens for a reason, Nex," Axel reminded me. "Who knows how you would've reacted had you seen him again..."

"I feel so selfish," I murmured, frowning. "He raised me, when he could've killed me or let me become corrupt. I _at least_ owed him _that_."

"I think...that he must know, somehow. I think when you die, you realize how people feel about you and what they're truly thinking. That's how I remember it, at least."

"I hope you're right."

This man, this poor, betrayed man, had raised me and taken on the role as my father figure. No one said he had to do that much for me. But he really cared. For some reason, I had always blinded myself to that fact. But after reading his most cherished piece of work, the truth hit me hard. He had truly cared about me.

Apparently everyone is capable of some form of love. This fact became so obvious to me, only because of Ansem the Wise, King Mickey, and Axel.


	6. Chapter 6: Clever

Chapter 6: Clever (www . youtube . com/watch?v=HgzGwKwLmgM)

Memo: Bwaha. :) I love this chapter. This is my favorite, methinks. Besides the end. :3

Nexus' PoV

"Happy birthday!" I cried as soon as Sora flung open the door. He grinned, hugging me, but I could tell he was eyeing his present.

"Thanks," he said, starting to take the box out of my hands. I quickly wrenched it away, pouting.

"Not yet!"

It was Sora's seventeenth birthday, and E and Riku and Kairi had decided to throw him a party, so the eight of us had gathered in Riku's downstairs living room, since he had the biggest house.

"You're late!" Namine shouted, hugging me. I smiled.

"So was E," I pointed out, nodding toward the sparkly-eyed Asian who was prancing around Kairi and Riku, chattering about something or other. She stopped when she saw me and grinned broadly.

"Look, Onee-chan!" she cried, bouncing over to Namine and me. "Look at all the food Kairi and I made!"

I could feel my mouth watering already.

"I am pleased, young one," I said, patting her head. She smiled cutely. "When do we eat?"

"Now that you're _here_, anytime," Kairi said with a hint of irritation. Whatevs.

"I dub that time to be right now!" Sora exclaimed, jumping over to the long table of food.

"Hey, you cut Onee-chan!" E cried, hugging me. I pretended to pout.

"Nice move," Axel said. "Better get some food now, or she'll eat it all."

"I will," I threatened, clicking my teeth. "I eat anything. And everything. This is no exception. Therefore, I declare that you all cut in front of me, and I will just take whatever is left over."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Roxas said, jumping in after Sora. It was really obvious then that they were the Somebody and Nobody duo. Namine and Kairi never were like that.

The whole reason we were late in the first place was because E came over, like she did nearly every day, and together we wrapped our presents for Sora. Then E left while I waited on Axel to get home and get ready.

Whether E told Sora or not, I'll never know. But he probably figured it out on his own, since he and everyone else knew E came over every day.

I was kind of surprised E hadn't noticed anything suspicious going on with me, but I guess Axel and I hid it well. The day I found out about being pregnant, Axel had called E and told her I was sick, and part of the reason was lack of sleep. So he told E to start coming over later, and that way she could still come over, but after all the morning sickness had subsided to the point where I could fake feeling fine.

Anyway, everyone cut it front of me like I told them to, and there was still plenty of food left over for me to eat. Truly, I did eat a lot anyway, but no one could ever tell because of my high metabolism. And now that I was eating for two...it was ridiculous, I tell you.

"You're going to make yourself sick," Namine laughed as I piled on a heap of steaming noodles in some Asian sauce. E's doing, I think.

"Trust me, I won't," I assured her, winking and sticking out my tongue.

Snuggling closer to Riku, E sighed through her nose happily. She was finally where she wanted to be. It had taken some real bravery to get here, though.

Glancing at Nexus and Axel, who were sitting together on the floor, E's mind wandered back to her old home. She had only wanted love. She was never really certain if her parents had truly loved her or not. They were so flaky about their feelings toward her. She thought maybe it was because they had four kids and were fried all the time, but that shouldn't have been an excuse.

If these two people, Nexus and Axel, who were once incapable of such a grand feeling, could love each other the way they did, then certainly, E figured, her own parents could at least feel a little love toward her. But she was always the odd child. The misfit. The sickly little one. The baby.

Even though she was the second oldest, she was treated like the youngest. As if she could never be responsible for anything. As if she would always need help.

_The only thing I ever needed was love_, E thought as her friends laughed.

Looking at Nexus and Axel again, she watched them with a mixed feeling of jealously and admiration. She was so jealous of their insane amount of love. Not that she wasn't grateful for Riku. But she could hardly believe the perfection they had. For those same reasons, she admired them.

Someone else said something funny, and everyone but E cracked up again. She was too lost in her own thoughts, staring off into space. Conveniently, the space she was staring at happened to occupy Nexus and Axel.

E watched as the two laughed, Nexus sitting cross-legged in front of Axel. Suddenly Nexus made a funny face and looked at Axel. He smiled a carefree smile, and her face softened. Lacing her fingers with his, Nexus gently placed their linked hands on her stomach. E stifled a gasp as Nexus smiled up at Axel with the same sort of carefree expression.

_No way_! E thought, her mind racing. _No way_!

"What's got you so quiet, E?" Riku asked.

"It's nothing," E replied quickly.

"...You're not convincing."

"If it's important, I promise I'll tell you," E said, wanting to get back to her thoughts.

_Is she really pregnant? I can't believe it. But_... E froze for a split second. _But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I mean, a few months ago, she was sick, and Axel told me to come later in the mornings. Her getting sick really could've been morning sickness, and now by the time I come over, she's feeling better. Then she dyed her hair for no real reason. And tonight she ate a ton, more than usual. But why would she hide this from us_?

E looked at Nexus again, only to find her getting into some sort of disagreement with Sora.

"I mean, I would love to eat the leftovers if there WERE any," Sora was saying. Nexus pouted, narrowing her eyes.

"I had you go first before me on purpose, you know!" she exclaimed, smirking.

"Fatty."

"Am not!"

"Are too! You've even gained weight!"

Nexus popped up on her feet with rather surprising agility, and Sora did the same. He now stood a good three inches taller than her, but she was still a threat.

_She has gained weight_, E realized, looking Nexus over. _But...why would she hide it_...? _I mean, if I'm right, she's been pregnant for a few months. So why wouldn't she have told at least one of us_?

Nexus' PoV

Sora was about ten seconds away from getting bopped in the face. He was not about to get away with calling me fat. I wasn't. I never have been. But I had to argue my case so that Axel didn't win the bet.

"So what if I've gained weight?" I shouted in his face. "I don't exercise. Duh."

"Maybe if you didn't eat like a pig that would help," Sora said, trying to be smooth.

"I've ALWAYS eaten like a pig!" I cried, half-laughing.

"And how about those illegal activities, hmmmm?" Sora put his hands on his hips. I seriously did not get it. "When I came over to pick you up to go to the King's castle, I mentioned something about illegal activities, and you remember what you said? 'Been there, done that.'"

I heard Axel let out a small chuckle from behind me, and I frowned, shooting him a dirty look.

"First of all, I'm shocked your memory is good enough to remember that I even said that," I began. "Second of all, how do you know I wasn't kidding? Third of all, what are you trying to get at, anyway?"

"It only makes sense!" Sora cried, poking his finger in my face. "You're a _drunk_!"

"_WHAT_?" I shouted, my voice cracking. Axel laughed again. "Shut up, ya big jerk!" I said, turning around and kicking the bottom of his outstretched foot. He winced.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh at that," he said, smirking. I managed to hide a smile.

"I'm right, then, aren't I?" Sora said, already puffing out his chest in victory. "I knew it! It explains everything! You've gained weight, you sleep in later, and the whole thing about illegal activities...it totally fits!"

"That's what she said!" Namine said. I lost my focus for a moment and burst out laughing.

"Okay, Sora, you're the biggest idiot I've ever met," I said when I finally stopped giggling. "You ought to consider that an honor, considering how many people I know."

Sora frowned angrily, crossing his arms.

"I sleep in later because my doctor told me I need to, stupid," I said, poking Sora in the chest with my index finger. "And what does it matter, anyway? I don't have a job, so I don't need to get up early, now do I?"

Sora seemed to consider this, so I moved on.

"And I can't believe you are calling me a drunk!" I exclaimed, laughing. "I've only been drunk once in my life, and that was a few months ago. Let's just say, I am never doing that again, because I _like_ having my senses about me, 'kay?"

"I don't believe you," Sora snarled.

"You should. I'm not a raging drunk."

"It'd be funny if you were," Axel said.

"Shut _up_!"

"Why should I believe you? You're getting all defensive about it!" Sora shouted angrily, getting up in my face. "You're obviously hiding something!"

"So what if I am? Since when do I have to tell you all the things that go on in my personal life?" I shouted back, standing on tiptoe to look him in the eye.

"So you _are_ hiding something!"

"I never said that!" Shit. I was getting really nervous that Axel would win by my own stupidity, which would be a most devastating defeat.

"Nexus?" E suddenly said, her cute voice a nice change of pace. I looked at her, not moving any part of my body except for my head. "Nexus...are you pregnant?"

When E asked her question, everyone went dead silent, except for Namine, who let out a little gasp that was a combination of shock and delight.

Slowly, Nexus sank back down to her heels again, staring at E incredulously. She glanced at the carpet, then looked at Axel, who also looked fairly stunned.

"Well..._now_ what do we do?" she asked, frowning. "We _both_ lost."

"I guess that means we both have to fulfill our ends of the bet," Axel responded, shrugging.

"You mean, I'm right?" E asked, sitting straight upright.

Hesitating, Nexus nodded.

Everything happened at once. Both Namine and E jumped up and nearly tackled Nexus, shrieking in joy. Kairi and Riku looked at each other, completely shocked. Axel shook his head slowly, obvious amused, while Roxas poked fun at him. Sora just stood there in embarrassment and shock.

"Oh my gosh!" Namine cried, red in the face from screaming. "When are you due?"

"Last day of March," Nexus replied, a little embarrassed.

"Whaaaa!" E shrieked. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because Axel and I made a bet on who would guess first." She glanced at Axel. "Though now I guess we both lost."

"What do you have to do?" Namine asked.

"I have to find my parents and actually talk to them." Nexus stuck out her tongue in displeasure.

"Who were you betting on?" E asked.

"I was betting on Namine." Nexus lightly smacked the blonde on the back of the head. "You failed me."

"Sorry! I never would've guessed!" she admitted, laughing.

"Axel was betting on Sora," Nexus then said, smirking at the brunette, who looked rather pissed.

E giggled. "Ya hear that, Sora-kun? Axel was betting on you, and you had no idea!"

"How's that make you feel, huh, spiky?" Namine asked, and she and E giggled in unison.

Sora didn't respond at first, but suddenly he looked up at Nexus, frowning.

"You wanna know how I feel?" he murmured, his voice dark. "Well, quite frankly, I feel like you're going to be a horrible mother, possibly the worst in history. Your kid is going to hate you and rebel against you, and you know what? I'm not going to feel bad at all, because it's your own damn fault."

As Sora went on, everyone fell silent, and Nexus felt sick.

"You can barely take care of yourself, so how do you expect to take care of someone else? Good luck with that. You're going to miserable."

Nexus stepped forward, fists clenched, shaking. She opened her mouth to say something, but her thoughts were too mixed up to speak, so instead she rushed out of the room, outside into the dark night. Axel followed her, not even bothering to say goodbye.

"Sora..." E breathed, her voice barely audible.

"What?" he said, turning toward her. Her fist met his cheek.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" E shrieked at the top of her lungs as Sora crashed into the sofa.

"E, calm down!" Riku said, grabbing her by the arms, but she elbowed him in the gut, stomping over to Sora. (Poor Riku. XD)

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" E screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "How could you?"

"Surely you didn't mean that!" Namine shouted, stunned.

"I did, though," Sora said, slowly pushing himself up.

"_Why_! After all the things she did for you!" E shook her head angrily.

"What has she done for me? She even admitted to me that she had ulterior motives for protecting me!"

"She wouldn't have stayed with you for that long if she hadn't developed some sort of bond with you, Sora," Riku said angrily. "I don't care if you meant it or not. You just don't _say_ things like that to anyone!"

"Riku's right," Kairi said sternly. "I don't even _like_ Nexus that much, but I would never say anything like that to her, let alone anyone I was on decent terms with. You need to apologize to her."

"I'm not taking back what I said!" Sora shouted angrily. Suddenly he turned to Roxas, who was standing there in silence. "What about you, Roxas? What do you think?"

"Yeah, c'mon, blondie," E said. Roxas perked up, looking right at Sora.

"You wanna know what I think?" he said. "Well, here's what I think: I think, Sora, that you are by far the dumbest person I have ever met, and tonight just proved it even more. You never should have said anything like that to anyone, especially Nexus, who has done so much for you and the rest of us. I would say to apologize by crawling on your knees and begging for forgiveness, but don't bother, because if I were Nexus right now, I wouldn't give you the time of day."

Pulling Namine's arm, Roxas marched out of the house without another word.

"You're a dick, Sora," E said, her bottom lip quivering. She quickly ran upstairs, sobbing.

"I hope you feel great about this," Riku growled. "This was supposed to be a night to celebrate, and now doubly so, but you ruined it. I hope you're happy." He followed E upstairs, trying to console her.

"Kairi..." Sora said quietly.

"Sora, they're right," Kairi interrupted. "You need to apologize to her. First thing in the morning."

Kairi began to walk out the door, but then she turned back for one more second.

"Happy birthday," she murmured, then left Sora standing alone.

Nexus' PoV

I couldn't even hear half of what Axel was saying to me over my own sobs. I had never hurt such hurtful words before, especially from someone that was my friend, and even more especially from someone younger than me.

"I'm n-not just upset b-because my hormones are whack," I insisted over and over, bawling.

"Nex, it's okay," Axel assured me.

"No, don't say that! That doesn't make me feel any better!" I shouted angrily. "Why would he say that?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know? I don't understand!"

"Nex, it's no use getting so upset over this-"

"How do you know? You don't know what I'm feeling!" I screamed. "Just go away! I don't want to talk to you!"

"Nex-"

"GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

Everything was spinning. I was shaking with uncontrollable sobs, with anger, with fear...

It took me nearly a half hour to realize I had just shouted at the one person who I knew loved me, and I felt so sick of myself that I wanted to die. Instead, I got off the bed and walked down the hallway. Axel was standing in the kitchen, his back turned to me, looking at the calendar. The second I got close enough, I reached out and squeezed him tightly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that," I said quickly, my throat closing up.

"It's okay. I know you're really upset."

"I'm so scared, Axel," I admitted, looking up at him. "What if Sora is right? What if I really am the worst mother ever? I don't know if I can do this."

"Nex, c'mon, that's ridiculous." Axel smiled a smile so kind, I wanted to start crying all over again. "If you managed to take care of _Sora_ for as long as you did, you can handle just about anything."

I laughed a little. "You really think so?"

"I know so." He pushed my hair out of my face, kissing my forehead. "You'll be fine. I know it."

Because of him, I 180'd rather quickly, and I stood on my tiptoes, kissing him.

_Please, promise to love me like this forever_, I prayed, squeezing my eyes shut. _Forever_.


	7. Chapter 7: Uncommon

Chapter 7: Uncommon (www . youtube . com/watch?v=jTnrarEKWNU)

Memo: YES! I had really wanted to do this from the beginning of writing the sequel, but I didn't know when I could fit it in. And now...it worked itself out! :) I love Aila. I wish I looked like her. XD In case you don't know what a conflagration is, it is a huge fire. :D

Sora stood in front of Axel and Nexus' house for the millionth day in a row...or at least, in the past two months. He really wanted to burst through the door and apologize, but he knew that just wasn't going to happen. But at least this time, he knew exactly what to say.

Slowly Sora walked up to the door and knocked on it. Nexus opened it, probably expecting E, then immediately closed it again after seeing Sora instead. This, also, had been going on for two months.

"Nexus!" Sora shouted, banging on the door. She didn't respond. He prayed his plan would work. "Nexus...look, I'm not going to pretend that I didn't say those things to you on purpose. I'm not going to act like I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, or that I don't believe what I said. But...but I never should have said those things to anyone, especially you."

Pausing, Sora continued, even though it appeared as though Nexus had gone further into the house.

"I'm sorry, Nexus. It was stupid of me to say those things, and I guess I understand if you don't forgive me, because if I were you, I wouldn't forgive me, either." Sora sighed. "And you're probably not even listening to what I'm saying, but-"

"Keep going," a quiet voice ordered him from behind the door.

Stunned, Sora went on.

"I really am sorry. You've done so much for us, and I had no right to say that to you. But, like I said, I'm not going to pretend I didn't mean to say those things. I...I guess...my pride was hurt, that's all. I was wrong, and I didn't want to be, so I took it out on you, which I never should have done." Sighing, Sora finished up. "If you can't forgive me, I understand. But I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry."

The door didn't open, so Sora took that as his cue to leave.

_Whatever_, he thought. _There's nothing I can do about it now_.

Suddenly he felt himself be pulled to a halt.

"Stop walking away, dummy," Nexus said, turning him around and hugging him.

"I'm sorry," Sora said, a little surprised.

"I know you are. I just wanted to hear you say it like you meant it." She looked up at him with just a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Truth is, when you said those things...I agreed with you. I still sort of do."

"You've managed to survive so far," Sora pointed out, pushing her away. "You only have like, what, three months to go?"

"Yeah," Nexus said quietly, smiling. Sora smiled back. "Merry Christmas, by the way."

"Yeah! That was the other thing..." Putting his hands on his hips, Sora grinned. "Yuffie invited us over for Christmas Eve. She said we could come as early as tomorrow, so we can spend a couple days over there. Whaddya say?"

"Sounds brilliant!" Nexus clapped her hands together. "I've missed Yuffie."

"You have E."

"I know, but it's not the same." Nexus looked around. "Speaking of, where is she?"

"Probably on her way. She knew I was coming over here today." Sora smiled. "I think she's more excited than you are about your baby, especially since you let her come up with names."

"Yeah?"

"It really means a lot to her, you know."

Nexus wrinkled her nose in confusion. "What? Why?"

"Sorry, I can't tell you." Sora waved his hands as if to say 'not guilty.' "I found out on accident. This is something E needs to tell you when she's ready to. Riku doesn't even know."

"Now you _really_ have my curiousity going." Nexus frowned, looking up at Sora. His face stayed unreadable. He simply couldn't tell her. E would be pissed if he did.

"Sorry, Nexus." He shrugged. "I gotta go. See you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, okay. We can leave tomorrow if you want. Axel has the next week off."

Smiling, Sora nodded and walked away, leaving Nexus swimming in her own thoughts.

Nexus' PoV

The next day, I was still completely convinced that Sora was just trying to pull my leg about the whole E's secret thing. I mean, what was there for E to hide, especially from Riku?

She didn't act any differently on the ship, nor on the way to Yuffie's house. She was just E.

"Onee-chan, I'm excited to meet these people!" she exclaimed, linking arms with me. I smiled. "Riku says Yuffie is my double. What does he mean?"

"You'll see," I assured her, grinning. "You'll love her, though. I promise."

"If she is my double, then I have to love her, right?"

I laughed at her honesty. Sora must've been just playing around. E was as innocent as a child.

"You might want to stand back," Sora warned us as he knocked on the door. "Yuffie'll tackle you on the spot."

"I'm ready!" E shouted, standing right in front of the door.

Sure enough, Yuffie burst through the door, and E was the first one she tackled. We all burst into hysterics: E and Yuffie were exactly the same height, their hair was the same color and same length, and their build was identical.

"TWINS!" they shouted at each other at the same time, hugging.

"Yuffie, get up," Leon said from the door. "Merry Christmas," he said to the rest of us.

"Meri kurisumasu~!" E cheered, jumping over to him and bowing. I laughed silently at the look on his face. He didn't seem too thrilled to have another Yuffie figure in the house.

"_You_!" Yuffie cried, hugging Sora so tightly, his arms locked up. "You are a crazy head! How are you?"

"Stop choking me," he gasped.

"Okay, okay. C'mon, inside!" Yuffie insisted, dragging Sora inside. We all followed her in, and the warmth and smell of the house was so inviting, I wouldn't have minded staying a few extra days.

"You're so much taller!" Yuffie whined, measuring herself in proportion to Riku. "It's not even fair. You and Sora, like, doubled in height."

"While you doubled in width," Axel teased me. I elbowed him hard. Yuffie must've heard the tussle, because she whipped her head around. Judging by the gleam in her eyes, I thought she was going to kill me with her abundant joy.

Instead of saying anything, Yuffie let out an ear-splitting scream and pointed at me.

"_YOUUU_!" she shrieked, rushing over. "I've missed you so much! Look at youuuu!"

E laughed at Yuffie, which I thought was slightly hypocritical.

"Hi," I said, grinning.

"'Hi'? That's all you're going to say? Young lady, we have some serious catching up to do," Yuffie said, dragging me away.

"See you!" Namine said, waving and laughing at me. I shot her a dirty look, but I can't say I wasn't happy to finally talk to Yuffie again. The last time I had seen her, things didn't end nicely.

"Oh my goodness, we have so much to talk about," Yuffie said after shutting her bedroom door and plopping down on her bed. I nodded, sitting down a little more slowly. "Where should we start?"

"I have a question first," I said, shrugging. "Where's Aerith?"

Yuffie huffed a dramatic sigh, so I knew her response would be interesting.

"You'll never guess-on a honeymoon! Yeah, she got married! The wedding was so small, it's like they didn't want anyone to know." I felt my jaw drop in disbelief. Why would they rush into it like that? "Who knows what they're up to. But enough about them. Let's talk about you!"

"What about me? There's nothing too exciting-"

"Excuse me? Are you serious?" Yuffie reached out and grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me a little. "Your life is the definition of exciting! I have way too many questions for you, I don't even know where to begin! So, let's start with this."

She gestured to my swollen stomach, and I shrugged.

"What's to say?" I asked, smirking. "It's pretty self-explanatory."

"Agh! You frustrate me." Yuffie shook her head, amused. "So, when are you due?"

"Last day of March."

"Boy or girl?"

"Boy. E named him. It sounds soooo cool."

"What is his name?"

"Kaji. It means 'conflagration.'"

Yuffie laughed. "That's so appropriate."

"I know, isn't it?"

"Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"The others found out only like...two months ago." When Yuffie gave me a funny look, I continued. "Axel and I made a bet on who would guess first, but it ended up backfiring, and we both lost."

"Ick. What do you have to do?"

"I have to find my parents and actually talk to them. Same for Axel."

"You make that sound like a sin. Wouldn't it be better for your son if he knew who his grandparents were, or at _least_ what _happened_ to them?"

I had never thought of it that way before. For once, she made _sense_. Apocalyptic, I know...

"Just a thought," Yuffie said, pushing on to the next subject. "So, speaking of your past..."

"I know where this is going," I laughed. "The last time I was here..."

"Exactly."

I sighed, slowly shaking my head. "What happened...will never happen again. I used to be split into two souls, but the other part of me was destroyed, and that will never happen again."

"Good! You had us so worried. We thought you were going to die." Yuffie paused, a smile creeping onto her sunny face. "But you didn't. In fact, I'd say you're living more than ever. I mean, Axel loves you, and that's what you wanted all along, right?"

"Mm-hmm." I nodded, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear modestly. She was completely right. I had what I wanted, and now I could carry on. But Yuffie... "But what about you?"

Yuffie opened her mouth in the shape of a silent laugh, rocking back and forth, hugging her legs.

"Well, we'll see, won't we?" she said with an optimistic grin. "After all, it happened for you. Things might work out for me, too."

"You know, Nexus," Yuffie said the next morning, alert as ever, even without caffiene. "If you're looking for your families, you should go to this little restaurant in the marketplace. Everyone goes there. If you hang around, you're bound to see someone you know."

So, taking her advice, Nexus and Axel set out that morning for the marketplace, not just to eat lunch, but also to look around and people watch.

The latter wasn't nearly as effective as they had hoped, so they gave up around noon and finally retired at the restaurant Yuffie had mentioned. She certainly hadn't been lying; it was crammed with people. In fact, the seating inside was so full, Axel and Nexus ended up outside at a little table with a fancy umbrella on it. Luckily it was decent weather, though a little cold.

The lunch was fairly uneventful for the first part. But finally, when some people left and some other people arrived, Nexus happened to notice a strangely familiar young woman sitting nearby them, sipping from a coffee cup. The girl wore scarlet lipstick and had the hair to match, though no freckles on her pale face. Her eyes looked tired and distant, as though she was lost in thought. It didn't take long for Nexus to realize who this was.

"Oh my goodness," Nexus murmured under her breath, scooting her chair out. Axel, startled, jumped.

"What? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Axel asked her quickly. Nexus didn't reply with words, but instead stared at the red-haired girl one more time. Putting on her coat, Nexus got up from the table slowly and walked over to her. "Nex!"

"Excuse me?" Nexus said quietly. The girl looked up at Nexus over the rim of her coffee cup, obviously surprised but trying to hide her confusion. "Are you Aila?"

Stunned, Aila nodded and set down her coffee. "I am," she said.

"You're Lea's sister, then, right?"

At the sound of her deceased brother's name, Aila flinched.

"Yes, I am," she replied. "Were you a friend of his?"

Nexus smirked, sitting down across from Aila. "I guess you could say that." Aila didn't respond with words, but instead raised an eyebrow, causing her to look just like her brother. "Aila, do you know what Nobodies are?"

"No," Aila said, taking another sip of coffee. "I know what Heartless are, though. Why does it matter? Who are you, anyway?"

Nexus didn't answer her questions. "Nobodies are the shells of beings left behind, and they can function on their own without hearts. They're born from those who have died with a strong will."

Making the connection, Aila's pretty eyes widened.

"What are you saying?" she murmured.

"Your brother had a Nobody, Aila," Nexus said. "And, conveniently enough, he is sitting right over there."

Nexus pointed at Axel, who was watching them in stunned silence. Aila, shocked, dropped her cup of coffee onto the table with a clatter. She turned to Nexus with a ferocious look in her eyes.

"Look, I don't know _who_ you are, but please, stop messing with me," she pleaded through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, Nex, that's _my_ job."

Axel crouched down next to Aila, whose face had turned stony grey.

"Aila, it's me," he said quietly. She shook her head, tears in her eyes.

"You died," she murmured. "You can't be back."

"Try me. Ask me anything."

"Anything, huh?" Aila gasped, the wild look back on her face. "Well, how about...what was the last thing we talked about before you died?"

"Brent and I were making fun of you for saying yes to going to prom with one of your younger high school guy friends," Axel answered in one breath, making Aila lose her own.

"You can't be," she mouthed, shaking. "Lea...Lea..."

"Nex, we should leave," Axel said, standing and pulling his sister up. "Let's go somewhere less...public."

...

"Aila, are you okay?" Axel asked when they had finally settled down on a bench. The red-head nodded slowly.

"I...I can't believe this is happening," she said quietly. "So...let me get this straight here. You are my brother's Nobody. You don't have a heart?"

"I do, but that's another story for another time," Axel said, smiling at Nexus.

"Then...who is she?" Aila nodded at Nexus.

"This is Nexus," he replied. "Consider her the equivalent of your sister-in-law."

Aila flushed pink with delight, as did Nexus.

"Then...you...she..."

"His name is Kaji," Nexus said with a smile. Aila swallowed hard, shaking all over and looking ready to burst into hysterics at any minute.

"Aila," Axel sighed, hugging his sister. She practically melted into his arms.

"Why did you make me suffer like that?" she cried. "And everyone else..."

"Aila, where are they?" Axel asked quickly, pushing his sister back to look her in the eye.

"Kisa and Elisa are at home with Mom and Dad...but I don't think it would be a good idea to see them. I don't think they could handle it."

"I have to try..." Axel said with a sigh. "What about Brent?"

"He's in town. If you want, I can take him to you."

Axel looked at Nexus, who nodded eagerly. "You should," she said.

"Okay. Let's go."

Nexus' PoV

It didn't take us long to get to Brent's apartment. He opened the door almost immediately, as if expecting someone.

"Aila?" Brent said, confused by his sister's reddened eyes. "What's going on?"

"Listen to her," Aila responded, jabbing her thumb at me and walking past him into the apartment.

"Hi, Brent," I said quietly, a little embarrassed. "I'm Nexus."

"Hi..." he said slowly, looking even more confused.

"Do you know what a Nobody is?" I asked him. To my surprise, he nodded. "Oh, well, in that case. You have to meet someone."

"I do?"

I pulled Axel into view, and Brent's jaw dropped a little. Axel smirked at him, and after a few moments, Brent matched it. They were obviously brothers.

"Lea." Brent pulled Axel into a hug.

"Sorry," Axel mumbled.

"Sorry? You have nothing to apologize for." Brent pushed Axel back, looking him right in the eye. For a moment, I pictured them as kids-Brent as the doting older brother, and Lea as the mischievious, naive younger brother. They only had each other for sanity with four younger sisters.

"Should we take him to see Mom and Dad?" Aila asked. "Kisa and Elisa are still in school right now."

"..." After really taking a moment to consider this, Brent shook his head. "No. I mean, I'm not saying that to be selfish. Mom and Dad...they're slowly losing it. I'm afraid that...if they saw you, and then saw _you_..." Brent nodded at me. Sorry. Not entirely my fault, here. "...I think that would be too much for them."

"That's what I was thinking," Aila admitted, rocking back and forth on her heels. She was not nearly as tall as her brothers, even in heels, which made me smile.

"You should stay here for a while and catch up," Brent suggested, closing the door at last. "C'mon, sit down."

...

In no time flat, Axel was acting like himself again, messing around with Aila as if nothing had happened. I was sitting next to Brent and across from them.

"Mom and Dad used to call them the twins," Brent was saying, nodding at the two gingers, who were laughing about something. "At least, until they actually _had_ twins."

"I can see that," I said, smiling. "They're obviously really close. It seems like you all are."

"That's why it was so hard to lose them." Brent frowned, looking at the coffee table. "I mean, it was bad enough just losing one sibling, but both Lea and Emi...gone, in an instant. Neither of them could be blamed."

I frowned as well, but moreso in disagreement than anything. It seemed like maybe Lea should've been at fault for having left such dangerous stuff lying around-stuff that should've been at work, like it was now.

"Aila...she took it so hard." I looked up at the red-head, who was smiling so much, her eyes were slants, not unlike E. "You'd never guess it now, but she came really close to suicide a couple of times. We tried counseling, but it didn't do much for her. She just used it as a way to lock herself up from everyone. She's one of those people who has to do everything on her own. Even today, she went out alone again. It's a miracle she met you two."

"I'm glad to finally meet you both!" I exclaimed, smiling. "I wish I could meet the others, too, but..."

"I can try talking to my parents, and I'll definitely let the twins know about it. They probably won't believe it until they see it, of course, but you guys can always come back."

"Yeah, if we have time," I agreed, sighing through my nose.

"Yeah, that's another thing entirely," Brent said with a smile. I nodded. "Can't believe my baby brother is already so far ahead of me in life. It's hardly fair. But...judging from the things he said earlier, he's excited."

"We both are," I confirmed. "It's getting closer and closer every day. I can hardly imagine how crazy that will be, both of us running around during the wee hours of the morning."

Brent smirked. "You guys'll be fine. I know it."

That night, back at Yuffie's, both Axel and Nexus had retired for the evening, talking and lounging in bed until they were tired enough to fall asleep.

"Your family is gorgeous," Nexus said with a smile.

"Yes, they are," Axel agreed, kissing her forehead. She blushed deeply, surprised at his witty response.

"Seriously. Your sister is beautiful, and so nice."

"She's crazy, but I love her." He sighed a little. "I can tell she really struggled to recover from my death. I feel bad, having left her. I was supposed to protect her, and I couldn't even do that... Well, I guess hindsight is always twenty-twenty, right?"

"Yeah..."

"You know, next time we come back..." Axel looked Nexus straight in the eye, causing her heart to beat just a little faster. "...It's your turn."

Pouting, Nexus whimpered.

"I don't want to..." she groaned pathetically.

"A bet is a bet, and you lost, too."

"I know..." She sighed. "Fine. You win. Next time we come back to Hollow Bastion, I'll do everything I can to find at least one of my parents."

"Both."

"One."

"Both!"

"One!"

"Thumb wrestle to see who wins?" Axel said, holding out his hand.

"You're on."

Of course, with the slight advantage of having a bigger hand and being able to strain himself as much as he wanted, Axel won.

"Both," he repeated, turning off the nightstand lamp. He heard Nexus groan again.

"Fine."


	8. Chapter 8: Bold & Delicious

Chapter 8: Bold & Delicious (www . youtube . com/watch?v=JjeuLKrDXNo)

Memo: AHHH! I love this chapter, too! I think Nexus clicks really well with E and Namine. :) I am very pleased at how E and Nexus turned out, and especially happy with how they respond to each other. :D

Nexus' PoV

"Onee-chan!"

As I pulled open the door, E flung her arms out to the sides in a "tada" sort of fashion. Normally she would've hugged me at full throttle, but that was pretty much impossible at this point.

"I don't want to squish your love child!" she would say, giggling. She called him a love child because we weren't technically married or anything, even though we were obviously committed to each other.

"Onee-chan! I have a message for you!" E exclaimed, skipping inside.

"What?" I asked, closing the door behind her as she turned and waited for me.

"Kin-chan wants to know if you'll help her get ready for a date with Blondie."

"Kin-chan" was E's nickname for Namine. E gave everyone a name, except Riku. (Kin means gold in Japanese, so E is basically calling her "Goldilocks" or just "Goldy" :D)

"I love how you call her that," I said with a laugh, and the two of us walked over to the sofa. E piled her things onto the coffee table. It was mostly yarn. E had been teaching me how to knit...or at least...trying to teach me. Crocheting was fairly easy, once you looked past the initial learning process, which was filled with dirty jokes and innuendos.

E just smiled in response.

"Why doesn't Riku have a nickname?" I asked, picking up the needles carefully.

"Because...he's just Riku. I think his name is his essence. I think names are our identities." E's eyes lit up. "My name, Eibin, is written in kanji characters with no meaning, but the real word 'eibin' means 'clever.'"

"That is certainly your essence," I said with a smirk. She had proven that many times before.

"And Kaji's name means 'conflagration,' because I think it fits with Axel's job and the amount you love each other," E continued, knitting without even looking, which always sort of pissed me off. I wish I was that talented.

"Why do you say that?" I asked her with a sly smile. She returned the look.

"Because I know that you two love each other more obviously than the sky is blue." E paused for a moment, lost in thought, then sprung right back into action, right back onto topic. I noticed she did that a lot, and every time she did it, it reminded me of what Sora had said.

Did you know that 'nexus' and 'axel' essentially mean the same thing?" E inquired, once again living up to her namesake. "It's true. It means 'the center,' which I don't see how that applies to either of you, but that's okay!"

She smiled brightly, and I couldn't help but smile back. E had really helped the past few months to fly by. It was nice to know that if something happened, E would be there.

"I mean, your name doesn't have to describe you, I guess," E said quietly. "But I think it is amazing when it does."

E tried to change the subject, but for once, she couldn't think of anything to say. She didn't want that faint prick of jealousy to show its ugly face, especially to Nexus. The one person besides Riku who loved her.

"I agree," Nexus said at last, smiling kindly. "That's one of the reasons we had you come up with the name. Besides the fact that we knew it would be exotic, which is also nice."

"Hai, sou desu. (Yes, that's right.)"

"Sora mentioned a while back that it meant a lot to you...naming Kaji, I mean." E quickly found a spot on the carpet and stared as she furiously knitted, not daring to open her mouth. "I'm glad it meant a lot, but..."

"Don't tell Riku!" E shouted, bursting into tears almost automatically. "Don't tell him, please! Tell anyone else, just not Riku!"

"E!" Nexus cried, jumping.

"Don't tell Riku, please!" E started bawling into her hands, while Nexus just stared, confused.

"E, what are you talking about?" Nexus said softly. "I was just going to ask why it meant so much to you!"

Slowly, E lifted her face, her hands trembling. Nexus gazed into her tear-filled eyes, curious as ever.

"You mean, you don't know?" E asked quietly.

"No, but now you pretty much have to tell me, you realize this?" Nexus smirked, and E's face softened a little.

"...Okay. But, really, don't tell Riku. You can tell anyone else, but not him. You have to swear on your life."

"I promise, I will not tell him unless you prompt me to."

E hesitated, then sighed heavily. "Okay, well, when I was little, I always was getting sick with this or that. My family called me their kawaii-yowaiko. Their cute-weak girl. Even though, I was the second born, they treated me like the youngest, because I'm the smallest and the weakest."

Nexus nodded, wanting to add that E was probably the cutest, because there was probably nobody in the span of the universe who pulled off cute as well as E.

"Then, when I was twelve, I got cancer."

"Cancer?"

"You've never heard of it, either?" E asked, incredulous. "It's a disease where mutated cells in your body attack your body's defenses and then grow in their place. Sometimes it can kill you, depending on where it is. You have to undergo a lot of treatment for it; it's called chemotherapy, and it makes all your hair fall out and makes you really weak."

"Oh my goodness, E," Nexus murmured, shocked. "Where did you have cancer?"

"In my ovaries..." E frowned at the ground again. "They didn't think I would survive, because it had already spread to other parts of my body."

"But you did survive, obviously."

"Yes, but...but..." E burst into tears again, covering her face in shame. "I can't have kids now!"

"_What_? Why not?" Nexus gasped.

"In order to increase my chances of surviving, they had to remove everything," E sobbed. "Onee-chan, I didn't want you to know! I've been so jealous of you."

"...You _have_?" Nexus shook her head. "I don't believe you. You haven't acted like it."

"Because I'm a good pretender." E glanced up at Nexus, ashamed. Her face turned even redder in guilt. "I have been so jealous, because you have this happiness I can never have. And I'm afraid Riku will hate me for it."

"Why? It's not _your_ fault, though. It's not like you caused yourself to have cancer, right?"

"No, but..." E's lips trembled. "He'll be mad I lied. He knows I had cancer, but not what kind."

Nexus frowned. She had remembered Riku saying to her once that E was a strong girl, a survivor. Though she had never thought of it before, it now made total and perfect sense.

"If he's going to be mad at you for lying, then you need to tell him now," Nexus said after a moment. "I mean, it would be a hundred times better if you told him yourself rather than if he found out. I think he'll be a lot more forgiving if you tell him now, rather than waiting. Do you understand?"

"But what if he rejects me?" E cried, still sobbing. "I would..." She couldn't finish her sentence, because the thought of it was just too horrifying for words. She would have to start all over and find someone else who thought she was beautiful and loved her for who she was.

"E, if he loves you like I think he does, he will _not_ reject you." Nexus got up and sat down next to E, forcing her chin up. "If he does reject you, that means he is not the one you're supposed to be with. Though...I don't think that will happen. You mean the world to him, you know."

"..."

"E? Are you okay?" Nexus asked, stroking E's head affectionately. E nodded.

"...You're right, Onee-chan," E said quietly, her voice still thick with tears. "I have to tell him. I can't hide this from him for forever." She sighed shakily. "Sorry, Onee-chan. I think it would be best if I go home. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you."

"No, not at all, E," Nexus said, smiling. "Jealousy is a feeling everyone goes through; the difference is that you don't let it consume you and instead face it down and be honest. That's what you have to do next."

"..." E smiled at last, the most sincerely Nexus had ever seen her smile. "Thank you, Onee-chan."

...

As soon as E had left, Nexus burst into tears. Who knew that such an innocent soul such as E had been through so much and had so much hatred in her? It truly pained Nexus' heart to hear those things that E had said. Not because her feelings were hurt, but because someone was suffering because of her.

"Nex?"

Whipping her head around, Nexus looked at Axel, who had just walked in, startled to Nexus like such a state.

"Nex? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Axel dropped his stuff and rushed over to her side. Nexus shook her head quickly, indicating that physically she was fine, that there were still indeed two weeks left.

"I-I'm alright," she insisted, wiping her eyes. "Oh my goodness, Axel. You would not believe what I just heard." Her tears started up again.

"What? What happened?" Axel looked around. "Where's E?"

"E...she left." Nexus grabbed Axel's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Axel, you wouldn't believe the things she just told me. About herself."

Nexus' PoV

I was really happy that I could spend the afternoon talking to Axel about what E had said. He was just as surprised as I was, maybe a little less so.

Anyway, I was grateful that Namine would be coming over, because I knew a night with her would get my mind off of E and her troubles and would instead present a load of good fun.

Though all through the afternoon until Namine came over around seven, I wanted to call E and see if she had told Riku and see if things were really okay. I figured they would be, and if they weren't, I figured she would call. She never called, so I was half worried, half relieved.

Then Namine came over, and everything became relaxed.

"Namine, you're the cutest little blonde I know," I said, gently manuvering her golden hair around the curling iron. She giggled. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, so I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was genuinely amused by her laughter.

"That doesn't count," she insisted. "How many little blondes do you even know besides me and Roxas?"

"None." I grinned. "I'm just saying you're much cuter than Roxas."

"You made yourself sound like a creep."

"Not intended."

"Sure..."

We both laughed, and I released the curling iron. Her hair fell into a little curl, hitting her back.

"Anyway, I'm saying that makes you the cutest couple," I said.

"What about E and Riku?" Namine asked, suspicious.

"I love them both dearly, but the height difference is so odd."

"You're a big hypocrite, you know that?"

I grinned again. She was referring to the large height difference between Axel and me, which wasn't quite as bad as E and Riku, but still was a little amusing.

"Well, I'm honored, anyway," Namine said with a giggle.

"Well, it's not just that you guys look good together. I think you also have the best relationship."

"Nah..." Namine waved her hand in the air. "Though I do think we have it better than Sora and Kairi."

"Huh." I paused for a moment. "I agree with you there, but I'd like to know _your_ reasoning behind it."

"Well, only if you tell me _yours_."

"Deal."

Namine inhaled deeply, preparing to go on a devilish rant. "Sora and Kairi are almost...too close for their own good. If I were Sora, I would be sick of being around the same person all the time. I mean, I guess I can't complain too much, because their togetherness is what brought Roxas and I back. But...do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, actually, I do." I smirked. "I feel like Kairi is super clingy, which in turn causes her to become less attractive to anyone, especially Sora."

"Yeah, exactly."

"And I think Sora is too nice to tell her when enough is enough. Either that, or he's too naive to realize it."

"I agree, which makes me worry that they'll get themselves into some other sort of trouble later on."

I understood exactly what Namine was hinting at, and I shuddered. There was no way _that_ would end well.

"The one thing I still don't get is why Kairi feels the need to be so unfriendly," Nexus continued, still curling Namine's hair. "I understand why she doesn't like Axel, because he brought that upon himself, but what have I ever done to her? I've never taken anything away from her. She has everything she wants, so why is she such a jealous bitch all the time? She has no reason to be jealous. I think she's so spoiled, but that's just me."

"No, no," Namine said quickly. "I agree completely. But...well, I know why she's jealous. Especially toward you."

"Really?" Nexus turned off the curling iron, and instead pulled out a can of hairspray. With careful meticulousness (new word!), she spritzed each curl as Namine continued.

"Yeah, of course." Namine really wished she could see the look on Nexus' face as she explained, but she knew Nexus was hard at work on making her look "fabulous," so she had to settle for staring straight ahead at the door. "Kairi's jealous of you for a lot of reasons, actually. She wishes she was as pretty as you-"

"But she _is _pretty," Nexus pointed out.

"Pretty is as pretty does." Sighing, Namine cracked her knuckles on the floor. Nexus was right; Kairi was very pretty. But just in the vain sense. "Anyway, she wishes she was as pretty as you, inside and out. She's also super jealous because you have a flawless relationship."

Nexus burst into giggles. "Wow. She knows nothing."

"Then _I _know nothing. I have never seen you guys fight, _ever_," Namine said, frowning.

"We keep our public life and private life separate. Though, I will admit, we fight a lot less than we used to. But I think arguing can be good sometimes. That's one way to learn about each other."

"I think you guys are completely compatable, and Kairi thinks so, too."

"Aren't she and Sora that way? They share hearts, don't they?"

"I guess, but because Kairi is so clingy...well, that ruins it. Trust me, I know."

"I get what you mean." Nexus smiled a little.

"Kairi is a really jealous person. She really seeks attention, and that's the main reason why she doesn't really like you: you're the only other female than can divert Sora's attention for more than two minutes. She sees it as a threat."

"Sora only listens to me because he fears me, methinks," Nexus laughed.

"No, not just because he fears you, though I think he does, too." Namine grinned and chuckled deep in her throat. "Sora has a lot of respect for you, which Kairi is jealous of."

"So you're saying Sora doesn't respect Kairi, but he loves her?" Nexus asked, her smile disappearing. "How can that work?"

"That's just it: it doesn't. So, basically, the more attention you get, the more Kairi's jealousy grows. I mean, when she found out you were pregnant, she got even _more_ jealous. I could feel it eminating from her. She's mad because not only do you get attention, but also because you are living out her dream life right now."

"I am?" Nexus put down the hairspray, lost in thought. "But I don't get that. She has everything she wants, right?"

"Yeah," Namine replied, still facing front. "Kairi has everything she's ever wanted, but when she looks at you, she sees her possible future, and instead of being happy for you, she gets jealous because she isn't there yet. She has to wait, and she's impatient."

When Nexus didn't respond, Namine took it as a cue to continue.

"I think it's all silly. She shouldn't be jealous of you; she should consider you a role model and strive to be more like you. I mean, I'll admit I'm kind of jealous of you, too, because you're so happy and what not, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a total bitch to you. I can admit that I look up to you, and the way I figure it, when I'm older, you'll be there to help me when I go through the same things. You know what I mean? I wouldn't ever let such a petty feeling as jealousy get in the way of my friendship with you."

Namine fell silent, not sure what she should say next. She was a little worried that Nexus wasn't responding.

Suddenly Namine felt Nexus throw her arms around her neck, squeezing the blonde tightly.

"You're so sweet and I pretty much love your face," Nexus said, kissing the top of Namine's head cutely.

"Ah, Nexus, don't hurt yourself! Or me!" Namine cried, practically choking.

"He's fine," Nexus said, letting go. "It's not like my stomach will explode if I hug you once."

"I dunno," Namine said, turning around at last to face Nexus. She looked darling. "You look ready to pop if you ask me."

"Arrgh!" Nexus threw her hands to her face, groaning. "I _hate_ that phrase!"

"That's why I said it!" Namine giggled, and Nexus removed her hands, unable to supress a smile.

"Thank you, cutey," Nexus said, toussling Namine's curls. "You look beautiful."

_Kairi hates you because she can't call people "beautiful" and mean it like you can_, Namine thought, smiling, her throat closed up in joy.


	9. Chapter 9: Can't Take It In

Chapter 9: Can't Take It In (www . youtube . com/watch?v=NN2o13iEZPw)

Memo: IMOGEN HEAP-YEEEK! I love that woman. She is so gorgeous and talented. :) This song really inspired a lot for the end of TLM and this chapter. :D

Nexus' PoV

The images were flashing so vividly and so quickly in front of me, I wasn't really sure what to focus on. I knew I was dreaming, because there was no way that things could happen that fast in real life, but these things were things of real life. Picture after picture of things that both frightened and amazed me.

The most vivid was a moment where I saw myself in the Castle That Never Was, locked away as I had been the previous year. I was screaming, and then I was E, screaming, and then I was Axel, still screaming; our screams blended so perfectly and became so loud that they startled me awake.

Thunder rumbled at that exact moment, and both Axel and I bolted upright, cold sweat on our faces. When I knew for sure I was awake and concious, I slowly laid myself back down. Axel, perhaps a little more startled than I was, sat upright, staring out the curtained window. I couldn't tell if it was morning or not yet; the sky was so dark, only being lit up by the occasional flash of lightning.

"..." He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he got up out of bed. I craned my neck to see the clock. It was about seven-thirty. Poor thing...he didn't even get to sleep in on a day he worked later. I felt like he had really been pushed lately, and I felt bad he couldn't even enjoy another hour of sleep.

It was really warm in our room, even after Axel had left, but for some reason, I felt cold. Today felt like a different sort of day.

Closing my eyes, I tried to fall back asleep. But the flashing images in my head kept me feeling dizzy and forced me to open my eyes and stare straight up at the ceiling. I needed to distract myself, which I figured wouldn't be too difficult, considering the length of my attention span lately.

And I knew if all else failed, counting sheep would probably work.

_It's a different sort of day_, I told myself, drifting off into uneasy sleep.

_It's a different sort of day_, Axel thought, rubbing his eyes to try to wake himself up a bit more. _But I don't know why I'm thinking this. I'm just too tired_.

Knowing that at this point only food would really wake him up, Axel opened the cabinet, pulled out some cereal, and made himself a modest breakfast.

Breakfast was always a good time to think about things, which Axel really thought was important. He had always been the thinker, the schemer, and it frustrated him deeply when he couldn't work out his thoughts. This day, his thoughts were pretty clear, but sleep was still clouding his brain.

Though, these days, there wasn't much to think about anyway, other than work and preparing for the arrival of their son. He and Nexus were pretty much prepared, even though there were still a couple of weeks to go. Those would be good weeks, because not only would he get to celebrate being a father, but he would also have some time off of work.

These thoughts were what Axel fell asleep to, and he rested peacefully on the couch for another hour or so, until suddenly he heard someone's voice.

"Axel?" Nexus' voice echoed down the hallway. Sitting upright, Axel listened hard, just to make sure he wasn't just hearing things. "Axel?"

"Nex?" Axel called out, standing. "What's wrong?"

"Could you come here for a second?" Something in her voice sounded a little...different.

Quickly obliging, Axel walked out of the living room and into their bedroom. Nexus was sitting mostly upright, a funny look on her face.

"What's wrong?" he repeated, looking her in the eyes. She frowned, still looking a little dazed with sleep.

"Either the ceiling is leaking, or I-"

Flicking on the light switch, both Axel and Nexus realized at the exact same time what was happening, and the question was now, why?

"It's not the ceiling, trust me," Axel said quickly as Nexus pushed herself completely upright, wincing a little.

"But-but I still have nearly two weeks," Nexus said, worried. "And you have to go into work soon."

"I'll call them, don't worry."

_How can I not_? Nexus wanted to reply, but instead she sat on the edge of the bed patiently, feeling dizzy and nervous.

Suddenly lightning lit up the sky, and thunder crashed in response.

"You have amazing timing," Axel muttered, his voice leaded with sarcasm.

"If I could help it, I would," Nexus replied, frowning. But he had already dialed his work number.

"Hello?" Axel said, the phone to his ear. He glanced at Nexus, who only looked at him with a dazed stare. "Hi, Cole? It's Axel."

Nexus stared at the carpet by Axel's sock feet, trying not to think too much. Otherwise she might implode with emotion. She hoped this would all work out like it was supposed to.

_What does E always say when she wants something_? she wondered, spacing out. _She says some little prayer. I wish I could remember it. If I could, I would say it_.

"Nex?" Axel crouched down to Nexus' level, a concerned expression clouded his normally care-free face. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Nexus snapped out of it immediately. "Oh, yeah. I'm alright." Noticing the expression on Axel's face, she smiled a little. "Don't worry. You're not allowed to worry unless I can't talk anymore."

"I might celebrate if you can't talk anymore," Axel teased her, smirking. She pouted, flicking the end of his nose with her well-manicured middle finger. "Ow. Fine. Let's go."

Axel pulled Nexus to her feet, and almost immediately she hunched over in pain.

"Nex?" She shook her head quickly, pursing her lips. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she gasped. "Don't worry. I can walk."

...

E skipped down the beach while humming a cheery tune, despite the pouring rain, which was now soaking her to the bone. She didn't mind it one bit, though. Today was a different sort of day, though she couldn't quite put her finger on the reason why.

Knocking on the door of Nexus and Axel's house, E rocked back and forth on her heels, waiting patiently for Nexus to answer. When she didn't, E knocked again, her smile fading.

"Hello?" she called out through the pouring rain. No one responded; E instinctively placed her hand on the knob, jiggling it. The door opened right up. E calmed down, thinking Nexus had probably just fallen back asleep and left the door open. That had happened before...more than once.

"Onee-chan!" E sang out, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. Again, no answer. Her throat closed up in worry. Franticaly, E ran further inside the house, searching every room for either Axel or Nexus. Neither of them were there, though, and E only panicked more.

_Where could they be_? she thought, running back to the front hallway. She walked over to the refridgerator, looking at the calendar. _Axel should be at work, but where is Onee-chan_?

Then everything suddenly clicked, and E let out a little yelp.

"WAAHHH!" she shrieked, running out of the house. She continued screaming all the way back to Riku's house, even while rowing her boat, even while sprinting down the beach, even when she collided with Riku.

"E?" he cried, nearly falling over.

"WAHH! WAHHH!" E covered her face with her hands, spinning in a circle.

"E, calm down!" Riku shouted, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. "What's going on!"

E shook her head quickly, trembling with excitement. "Riku! Nexus and Axel-they're at the hospital!"

"What? Why? What happened?"

"You silly-head!" E cried, smacking her hand to Riku's forehead. "Nexus is having her baby!"

"How do you know?" Riku gasped.

"Where else would both of them be? What should we do?"

"Let's call everyone." Riku grabbed E's arm and dragged her inside the house.

Sora was the first to get called, followed by Namine and Roxas, and finally Kairi.

"I want to go," Namine said quickly, and E nodded, then realized that Namine couldn't see that.

"Yeah, I figured," E replied. "What about Roxas?"

"He can't-he has to work today."

"I'm going, too," Sora said into Riku's phone. "Where should we meet up?"

"I dunno." Riku looked at E, who frowned a little. "What about Kairi?" he asked her.

"She said she didn't want to go." E's frown deepened.

"She's a bitch," Namine said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Riku said, rolling his eyes. "So let's plan to meet up by three at the hospital, okay?"

Nexus' PoV

You know, to be honest, I don't remember much about being in the hospital. I was in so much pain that I was half out of it when we finally got there; the ferry was running late, ironically, so the wait was longer than it should've been, and I was beginning to wonder if I wouldn't have to give birth on a boat.

I didn't, thankfully. But like I said, I don't remember much, just being dizzy and in pain. Whee. And then they gave me special drugs for this reason and that reason, and if my brain wasn't fogged enough before, it was after that. Needless to say, it was trippy and weird.

But whatever. I remember the important parts.

I can honestly say I was absolutely terrified when I held Kaji in my arms for the first time. There were a number of reasons why, but the most obvious one was physical, and it made every cell in my body go on alert.

"...Axel," I exhaled, running a finger across the top of Kaji's tiny head. "He has white hair."

I was convinced that somehow, Sune's DNA or genes or something were embedded permanently inside of me, and now this was the result. I didn't want my own child to have to be a permanent reminder of my damned past.

When I looked at Axel, instead of being consoling, he burst into laughter. If I had not been holding Kaji, I would've choked him out of rage. He was certainly close enough, being seated right next to me.

"Why are you laughing?" I squeaked, stunned. "This isn't funny at all."

"Yeah it is, Nex." Axel smirked. "You're clueless."

I think the blank, unamused stare I was giving him finally convinced him to explain.

"The white hair isn't permanent," Axel said at last. "That just means he'll have red hair later."

I honestly had never heard of this before, and I thought he was kidding just to make me feel better and to make up for him laughing at my anxiety.

"I'm serious, Nex. I had white hair when I was born, and so did Aila and all the other red-heads in my whole family."

"..." I thought about this for a moment, gently stroking Kaji's wispy white hair. "...So it grows out red?"

"Yeah. Don't you ever see red-heads that have light eyebrows? It's because the red didn't transfer to their eyebrows. I don't think Kaji will be that way, though, because no one in my family was like that."

"...So I just worried for nothing?" I said out loud, more to myself than to Axel.

"As always," Axel said, smirking at me again. But there was a genuine happiness in his eyes, and suddenly I felt like nothing had changed at all. It was like falling in love all over again.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" I said, smiling.

"Just like you."

I wanted to tell him to stop, but I definitely enjoyed the compliment.

"I think...this is the happiest I've ever been," I admitted, looking at Axel. He nodded in agreement. "I mean...you stole my heart...quite literally, actually..."

Axel chuckled under his breath.

"And now, Kaji...I didn't know happiness expanded like this."

Apparently, happiness is like any other emotion; it can engulf anyone or anything it comes into contact with. Since I had never really been happy before, I didn't know what kind of feeling that was or what it would do to me. I think it's fair to say that I was getting soft. Maybe that's what people mean by "settling down"?

Anyway, I think of that moment as an ending, but also another beginning. I had a hunch things would only get more interesting from there on out. And, given, they did.


	10. Chapter 10: Daybreak

Chapter 10: Daybreak (www . youtube . com/watch?v=DV3B-yc1ZRU)

Memo: Finally, in the next two chapters, you'll have Nexus' entire background story under your belt. Congratulations on staying with it this far! :D

TWO YEARS LATER

A lot could've been said about the previous two years. But none of that qualifies as stuff we won't discuss later, so that's why this chapter picks up two years later, in Hollow Bastion.

"Ahhhh!" Yuffie squealed, mussing Kaji's bright red hair. The two year old flinched a little, and his grip on his mother tightened. "Nexus, he looks just like you!"

"You think so, too?" Nexus said, wrinkling her nose in confusion. "I don't think so. He has Axel's eyes and hair."

"But his face," Aerith interrupted, looking at the mother-son duo. "He has your face."

"Either way, he's adorable," Yuffie determined, nodding.

"_That_ I can agree with," Nexus said, grinning.

"Kisara-chan," E said quickly, grabbing Yuffie's wrists. "We have something to tell you and Aeri, but we have to do it in private." E glanced at Axel and the other guys, then back at the ninja, who nodded understandingly.

"C'mon, we can go back to my room." Yuffie waved the four over, leaving Namine and Kairi to stand with the boys. Neither of them noticed, though, so the others made their quick getaway.

In reality, though, Kairi was listening the whole time, and she made sure to keep the guys distracted in order to carry out their plan.

"Okay, okay, guess what!" E exclaimed when Yuffie shut the door behind her.

"What?" Yuffie and Aerith said in unison.

"...You tell, Onee-chan," E said, looking at Nexus, who blushed a little.

"Well, okay. You know how the last time I was pregnant, Axel and I didn't tell anyone and we bet on who would guess?"

Aerith nodded; Yuffie gasped.

"You're pregnant!" she squeaked, her hands covering her mouth. Nexus nodded, putting a finger to her lips.

"This time, the bet is on Axel," E said, rubbing her hands together like a madman with a plan. "You guys want in?"

"Given!" Yuffie exclaimed, plopping down on her bed with a grin. "How much?"

"Whatever you're willing to give," E replied.

"I bet 500 munny that Axel will figure it out in the next two days," Aerith said softly. Nexus glanced up at her, surprised.

"You think so?" Nexus asked, stroking Kaji's fine, red hair. The little boy looked up at his mother and smiled.

"I think it'll be more like two weeks," Yuffie said, "and I double that amount." She stuck out her tongue at Aerith, who pouted a little.

"You can bet all you want because you don't have to save your munny," the brunette complained.

"Hey, _you're_ the one who wants to buy a new house."

"Cloud does, too."

Yuffie tilted her head back and forth, amused.

"We should probably go back out front now," E said, glancing at the door. "Before he gets suspicious."

"Trust me, I am the queen of cover ups!" Yuffie cried, bounding toward the door and flinging it open. "Don't you think it's the prettiest dress you've ever seen?"

"By far," Nexus agreed, following Yuffie out with a huge smirk.

Nexus' PoV

I have to admit that Yuffie knew what she was doing. No one seemed to suspect a thing, except for Namine and Kairi, who obviously knew what was going on due to their natural female sixth sense.

We were in Hollow Bastion for two reasons: one was to be there for Yuffie and Leon's wedding. The other reason I feared for no good reason.

"You promised you would," Axel said angrily, frowning at me. We were sitting in our hotel room, all three of us on the bed. Kaji was playing with something or other, and Axel was justly reprimanding me for skating around my promise to find my parents.

"Ahhh, you don't understand," I whimpered, pouting. "I don't even know them. It's not like when _you_ found your brother and sister. You knew them. My parents probably wouldn't know me if they saw me."

"That's why YOU have to go find them," Axel insisted. "You said you would."

"I know, but-"

"If you don't...I won't talk to you."

"That's so childish!" I cried in a tone that must've startled Kaji, because he whipped his head around to look at me with his big green eyes. I caught his gaze, and suddenly I thought of what Yuffie had said before, about this not being fair to Kaji.

"Ugh...fine." I sighed through my nose. "I'll go walk around town and look for people to talk to. If I can't find her today, I'll look in a directory tomorrow. Is that okay?"

When Axel nodded, I sighed again, pulling Kaji toward me.

"C'mon, Kaj," I said, kissing the top of his head. "We're going shopping."

...

I had been out and about for around an hour, and I was really starting to get frustrated with this whole thing. Hollow Bastion wasn't that big of a place, but there were plenty of people that lived there, and counting. Finding one single person was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

And at this point, my mind was totally distracted by the incredibly rude people I had encountered in the previous store. It's like some people forget what manners are when they're around any type of decent sale prices.

My luck finally changed as I was heading toward another store and a woman bumped into me.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, turning around. She was a middle-aged woman, probably in her late thirties, early forties. Her hair was a glossy white color with silver stands here and there. I couldn't tell if it was natural or not, but either way, she was really pretty. "I'm so sorry!" she said, smiling albeit embarrassed.

"It's alright," I said, smiling back. Her smile grew as her navy eyes fell on Kaji.

"Is that your son?" she asked. When I nodded, she continued. "He's a very handsome little boy."

"Thank you," I said, beaming with pride. Despite the multiple compliments I had already gotten just that day, I couldn't help but feel proud each time.

The woman smiled at me for a long time, the look in her eyes distant. Then suddenly she jumped, blushing.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I didn't mean to stare. It's just...you remind me of my daughter."

"Oh really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who is she? I might know her." Because of her beauty, I thought this woman might in fact be one of my beautiful friend's mother.

"Oh, I doubt it. She died a long time ago."

My heart raced, and immediately I thought of Axel's mother.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. If...you don't mind me asking, how?" I said slowly.

The woman didn't look surprised, as if she'd been asked that question a thousand times. Or maybe she'd been practicing the answer in her head for a long time.

"Well, actually, I'm not entirely positive she died," the woman replied with a sad smile. "I suppose I should've said that she disappeared. You see, my husband and I sent our daughter to live with a scientist because of her health. But...something terrible happened a few years ago. His lab was destroyed, and he disappeared. No one has heard from him since. My daughter disappeared with him. They never found her body, so I suppose she could still be alive, but..."

As the woman continued to explain, I slowly began to realize that this beautiful creature was not Axel's mother, but my own. I froze, not knowing what to say.

"...I'm sorry, I just talked your ear off about nothing!" my mother exclaimed with another embarrassed smile.

"No, no, it's alright," I said quickly, unable to come up with a better response.

"Well, I should get going." She turned and began to walk away, and I panicked. I didn't know what I should say to make her stop. What if I was wrong? But then again, how many parents send their daughters to live with scientists? Unless that's the new fad these days...anyway!

"...Mom?" I said, just loud enough for her to hear it.

She stopped dead in her tracks, and then she slowly turned to me, eyeing me suspiciously.

"...Sune?" she asked, taking a couple of cautious steps toward me. Yep, it was her.

"No, I'm not Sune," I replied. "I'm-"

"You're the other one," she finished for me, but for once, it didn't sound derogatory. "You're Nexus."

"Yes," I said, smiling.

"You're Nexus?" she asked me. "You're my daughter!"

"Yes," I repeated, my throat closing up. I couldn't believe it.

She couldn't either, apparently. Slowly she walked up to me, placing her warm hand on my cheek. We were about the same height, and I could see now-without a clouded mind-how much I really did resemble her, as Yuffie and Aerith had said.

"Then...he is my grandson?" my mother said, looking at Kaji. I nodded. "Nexus...I have been looking for you for years."

She hugged me tightly, and I found myself doing the same thing. I really couldn't believe it. She wasn't like what I expected. Damn Axel for being _right_.

"I want to talk to you," she said, pushing me back with tears in her eyes. "When can I?"

"I can talk to you today, but I'm just visiting for the weekend for a wedding," I told her.

"Then come with me," she said, about to wave me on.

"Wait. I have to tell Axel what's going on. We're all supposed to meet up for a rehearsal dinner later. I'll tell him he can come and get me, that way you can meet him, too."

"Who is Axel?" my mother asked, and I tried to supress a grin. Instead I kissed Kaji on the cheek.

"The daddy," I replied, smiling.

"Axel?"

Axel looked up from his book upon hearing Nexus' voice. She sounded a little frantic.

"Nex?" he said as she rushed into the room.

"I found her," she gasped, out of breath. "I found my mother."

"You did!" Axel wasn't really expecting Nexus to even try. He told her this.

"I _wasn't_ even trying!" she laughed. "I literally just bumped into her. But then we started talking, and...well, trust me, it's her. Anyway, look, I'm going to go talk to her, and you need to pick me up for the dinner, so let's look up their address."

Nexus set Kaji down on the bed and rushed over to a file drawer.

"Okay, okay, slow down," Axel told her as she pulled out a map of Hollow Bastion that included a full list of addresses and phone numbers.

Suddenly Nexus gasped, jerking her finger back. She hunched over, her hair hanging down around her face.

"Nex? What's wrong?" Axel asked, forcing her upright. She bit her bottom lip.

"Papercut," she whimpered, her eyes watering. In a split second she burst into tears.

Axel's frown turned into a scowl almost immediately.

"You're pregnant again, aren't you?" he asked, unamused. She nodded, sobbing. "Don't ask how I can tell. Your hormones are whack."

"What's going on?" E cried, rushing into the room.

"Did you know?" Axel asked, and E, knowing exactly what he meant, turned beet red. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yeah," she admitted, pouting a little.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he snapped. "You realize she has to go to the doctor for certain things, right?"

"We know," E said quickly. "We were betting on you this time, since you thought it would be funny to bet on us before."

"Get out," Axel growled, and E scampered out of the room, terrified. Axel shut the door behind her.

"You owe me," Nexus said suddenly, laughing a little.

"What? Why? You went along with them," Axel said angrily. Nexus, now laughing full-out, stood upright with a grin on her face. "What's so funny?"

"You think that was for real?" Nexus asked, giggling. "Haha, you slay me. Like I'd cry over a _papercut_."

"I dunno, sometimes I wonder..." Nexus scowled, and Axel quickly changed the subject back. "So you just faked that whole thing?" Axel said. She nodded.

"I really wanted to tell you, but they really wanted to bet on you, so now I guess we both win." Nexus smirked deviously. "But don't tell them that. If anyone asks, you found out on accident."

"...Maybe you should be an actress," Axel said, a matching smirk appearing on his own face.

"Maybe later. Right now, I need to find my parents' house."


	11. Chapter 11: forgiveness

Chapter 11: forgiveness (www . youtube . com/watch?v=upNqjaeZxVw)

Memo: Oh-oh! We're halfway the-ere! Oh-oh! Livin' on a pra-ayer! XD You are now halfway done. Congrats, brats! ;P Enjoy this chapter. It explains everything. :D

Nexus' PoV

The walk to my parents' house was a lot more intimidating than I thought it would be, but it was pretty scenic, so the time passed rather quickly. Apparently they hadn't moved since I was little, but I didn't remember much about my old house at all, so I basically had to find it all over again. Boo.

Luckily I wasn't alone; I had decided to bring Kaji with me. I wanted him to be able to meet his grandmother and grandfather. At least, I thought my grandfather. My mother hadn't mentioned whether or not he'd be there when I came. I hoped he would, because I had a lot of questions for both of them.

Then again, I figured they had just as many questions for me.

Either way, we finally reached the house, and the outside of it surprisingly seemed a little familiar to me. The walls were an off-white color, smooth and tall, with a flat, modern-looking roof. There was no doorbell, but a silver knocker on the dark wood door. It was slightly intimidating, but I think more than anything it made them look rich and successful. Now the question was...were they actually?

My mother answered the door immediately, as if she had been waiting there the whole time. I dunno if that was true, but I'd feel bad it it was.

"Come in," my mother said, waving me in. I smiled and nodded in thanks as she shut the door behind me.

The inside of the house was about as cold as the outside, with an off-white and dark wood motif. There was a man with brown-ish grey hair sitting in an oversized armchair, reading a book. He looked up when he heard us and nearly jumped to his feet, tossing the book onto the end table next to him.

"..." Even after looking him in the eye for a few moments, I couldn't believe this man was my father. The only indicator was the amber color of his eyes. I internally shuddered, thinking of Sune.

"Monty, this is our daughter," my mother said. My father started to say something, but closed his mouth quickly.

"You're right," I said, trying not to make him feel awkward. "I'm not Sune."

"..." He was obviously a man of few words. One less thing we had in common.

"Come on, Nexus, come sit down." My mother gestured to the sofa, but I shook my head. I didn't really feel like sitting too close to them, in case one of them burst into a fit of rage.

"It's alright," I insisted, setting Kaji down on the ground. He had been squirming about, and now he tottered along freely, plopping down on the carpet and looking at me. "I'll sit over here."

When all of us had seated, the room took on an awkward silence.

"Well, I...now that I've met you both," I began, "I need to ask you something that's been bothering me a long time."

My mother nodded. My father didn't look as optimistic, but he definitely seemed interested.

"...What am I?" Nervously I played with Kaji's hair, spiking it and fluffing it. He didn't seem to mind. "I mean, do you even know?"

My mother and father exchanged glances that told me they did know, but didn't really feel like telling me.

"Please, tell me," I begged them.

Sabre looked at her husband with sad eyes, not wanting to relinquish this information first thing. If Nexus were told, what would she do?

"Well," Monty started, lacing his fingers together, "we know, yes. But what you are _specifically_, no."

"You know _why_ I was that way, though?" Nexus pleaded.

"Yes."

Montgomery looked at Sabre with stern eyes, telling her without words that she needed to just say it.

"I...I am bipolar. I have been since I was a teenager," Sabre explained, pursing her lips. "I didn't know how to control it for a long time. Even after I got married to your father, I was unpredictable and reckless. My happiness was pure elation, but my anger and sadness was dangerous, and the only way I knew how to deal with it was with anything reckless, especially alcohol.

"I kept drinking myself to sickness, until one day I found out I was pregnant. It turned out that I was quite a ways along, but I had never known because part of my illness and weight gain was due to drinking. I quit cold turkey, but by that time we thought the damage had been done."

"When you were born, you were fine," Monty continued. "Well, I suppose I should Sune was fine. She was super healthy, and we felt so blessed. But then one day, when she was only days old, your mother came rushing to me when I got home from an errand, saying Sune had thrown a fit and her eyes had changed colors. I checked her, but Sune was fine.

"Then, a few months later, the same sort of thing happened, only it was far worse. You appeared."

Nexus' face fell a little at being referred to as "worse."

"We didn't know what was going on," Sabre said, near tears. "There were two of you. Both equally beautiful, but both equally dangerous. We tried every doctor, every pediatrician we knew, but none of them had any idea. We were stuck until someone told us about Ansem the Wise, and how he was such a brilliant scientist. That's when we knew, you had to see him."

"We could tell you were suffering," Monty said, frowning. "It hurt that we couldn't do anything about it ourselves. But what hurt even more was that we could've prevented it. You see, Sune inherited your mother's bipolar behavior. Combined with the effects of the alcohol and drugs, it..."

Monty stopped, narrowing his eyes.

"It made you split like that." Sabre picked it up, trying to be as euphamistic as possible. "And Ansem had never seen anything like it, either. It made us so sad. He called you..."

Sabre and Monty were now stuck.

"What?" Nexus insisted, frowning.

"I don't know how to say it nicely," Sabre admitted.

"Then just say it. I've been hurt so many times-calling me a name won't mean a thing."

"...Ansem the Wise...called you a mutant."

To her parents' surprise, Nexus only shrugged.

"That's it?" she said with a smirk. "Like I said, that's nothing. I have been hurt so many times that a word doesn't mean anything to me now. It's okay."

Sabre, unable to hold it back, let out a tiny sob.

"No, really! I'm okay. At least I know now."

Kissing Kaji on top of the head, Nexus whispered in his ear, telling him to give Sabre a hug. He toddled over, exerting all of his cuteness.

"So now I have a question," Monty said. Nexus nodded. "If you're here...well, what happened to Sune?"

Nexus' PoV

Ah, well, I should've seen that coming. However, I couldn't blame them, since their curiousity was probably twice the value of mine.

"Sune is gone," I replied, trying to stay as positive as possible. My mother and father exchanged looks with each other, obviously confused. "I'll explain. You see, we were the same person, but two totally separate entities. Sune started out as the dominant personality, but as Ansem began to experiment on me more and more, I came to be the more dominant figure. We couldn't control when the other one would show up at all, so it was really frustrating.

"Anyway, at one point, Ansem's assistants betrayed him, and everything fell into ruin for both of us. So he told me that if I found his assistants and carried out revenge, he would try to separate Sune and me forever. Obviously, I agreed, but I couldn't complete his request because...I kind of died."

My parents looked so confused.

"I mean...ugh, how do I explain this simply...? Sune and I were the same, but not, because we had two separate halves of the same heart. And...I met Axel, and I sacrificed myself to save him, meaning I gave up my half of my life. So in the end, Axel was the one who had to choose between saving me and destroying Sune, or keeping Sune and destroying me. He kept me, obviously, so Sune was left to die."

"Who is Axel?" my father asked.

"The love of my life and Kaji's father."

At the sound of his name, Kaji looked at me and smiled.

"Mama, I want!" he said, reaching out to me. I held out my arms to him, and he left my mother and came bounding over to me.

"Actually, you might know who Axel is," I said, suddenly remembering Lea's demise. "Do you know what Nobodies are?" My parents looked confused again. "Nobodies are entities that come from strong-willed people who die. They're nothing more than empty shells of that person who was, and they have no emotions because they have no heart. Axel used to be a Nobody before I saved him. In his first life, his name was Lea, and he lived in Hollow Bastion, too."

"How did he die?" my mother asked.

"His house caught on fire, and he burned alive trying to save his younger sister."

A flash of recognition crossed my father's face.

"That happened not too long ago," he said. "I remember hearing about it. He came from a big family, didn't he?"

"Yeah, you've heard of it?"

"Of course," my mother replied. "It was big news. Lea's best friend had just died literally days before, and his little sister ended up dying in the fire, too."

It got quiet, and I didn't really know how to break the silence. Luckily my father stepped in, considerably more talkative than he had been before.

"So then, Axel is Lea's Nobody?" When I nodded, he continued. "And now, because of you, he has a heart?" I nodded again. "And that's your son?"

"Yep," I said with a grin at Kaji, who was trying to untie my shoelaces. He had gotten good at unlacing them and hiding them in the toe of my shoes, something I think Axel probably taught him. "It's just us three, soon to be four."

"Really?" my mother gasped, and I smiled, nodding. "How long have you two been married?"

"We aren't. I mean, at that point, we didn't have a lot of munny, and neither of us knew where our parents were, so we decided just to skip it."

"Seriously?" My mother sounded severely disappointed, and I couldn't help but snicker a little.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"That must be Axel," I said, jumping to my feet and running to the door. Time had really gone pretty quick.

Flinging the door open, Axel's face appeared, looking relieved when he saw me.

"Hey," we both said in unison.

"Come inside," I added, pulling him in.

"DADDY!" Kaji cried, running over.

"Hey, little man!" Axel picked Kaji up, kissing his forehead.

"Mom, Dad..." Those words felt so foreign. "This is Axel."

To my surprise, they looked impressed.

"So that's where the hair came from," my mother said with a kind smile, genuinely pleased.

"Indeed," I said, smirking. Pausing, I turned back to my parents. "I promise, some time I will come back and see you again."

"I hope so," my mother said, looking a little sad. "You have no idea how much we appreciated you coming to talk to us." She hugged me tightly. "I had always been so afraid that you would never see us. I'm glad we got to meet."

"We'll meet again," I assured her. "I promise."


	12. Chapter 12: Never Enough

Chapter 12: Never Enough (www . youtube . com/watch?v=M4Y-Y_ZwYVs)

Memo: Just a short, transitional sort of chapter. But it's also very light-hearted and somewhat funny. :) A nice switch from the previous chapter.

Nexus' PoV

I think having a big family stemmed from a lot of elements from both my lifestyle and Axel's. First and most importantly, we both loved kids, especially our own. So why not have more than the average family? With Axel's pay getting greater and greater each year, we could easily afford it.

Also, Axel had grown up with five siblings, and I had none. I hated being an only child, never having anyone to relate to except for Axel. I feared being alone, and I figured that trait might be passed on, so I didn't want to ever have my kids feel that way, either.

And it was always really interesting to see how different each of them were. Almost like you couldn't really tell they were related until they were older and actually were forced to interact with each other at school and at other events.

Yu was the second kid, and he and Kaji didn't even look like brothers except for their eyes. They didn't act related or anything, either. Two totally different human beings.

Yu's name means "hot water," and I think he found himself in a lot of that most of the time. He was easily the troublemaker, the class clown, whereas Kaji was more of a silent, smooth criminal who could talk his way out of anything. Yu easily admitted defeat, while Kaji would argue and battle til the death.

Even though the previous things mentioned weren't really noticable until the boys were older, their different personalities were evident from the start.

Yu's name kind of turned into a pun, which I think E kind of felt bad about. A kid would often say, "Hey, Yu!" and Yu would turn around, but the kid was talking to someone else. I think it frustrated him, but he was way too good-natured to let it bother him too much. Usually it was on purpose, though, and Kaji, being a bit of an overprotective brother, would help make sure it didn't happen again.

E would make it worse by saying, "Yu, you're in yu!" Meaning he was in hot water, or big trouble. It drove Yu nuts, but I think he eventually got used to E and her silly idioms and randomness, and in the end he actually looked up to her and saw her as an older sister figure. She was ecstatic when Yu called her "Onee-chan" once.

I was so happy, but at the same time, I was terrified of the end. I was terrified of losing something so amazing. What was I supposed to do if I was alone?

The fear didn't stem so much from empty-nest syndrome as it did a fear of losing Axel and eventually being alone. I had felt it all along, but I had never let it show until one night when Axel and I had just gotten into bed to sleep, and I just burst into tears just thinking about it. It scared me so much, and he never understood why.

"What's wrong?" he asked me as I sat upright, trying to catch my breath.

"...This can't last," I said, realizing I might have sounded a little pathetic, but I didn't care. It was the truth.

"_Why_ are you thinking about that _now_?"

"I was just thinking about how happy I am, and how I've never been this happy before in my whole life. But then I started thinking about how it became this way, and how easily we've been separated before, and..."

I couldn't finish my sentence. Being alone was never something I could deal with. I couldn't just lose my happiness, but I knew I would one day.

"Nex..."

I felt his warm arms pull me close to him, but somehow that wasn't comforting. It all seemed fleeting.

I guess it wasn't his presence that I'd miss. I was totally and completely obsessed with him, and I wanted to spend every waking moment of my life with him nearby. Nobody had ever loved me like him. He was the first person who accepted me and the only person I completely trusted. No matter how many times we got mad at each other, I still loved him like crazy, and I couldn't go without that feeling. My love for Axel had completely consumed me.

"Say you'll always love me!" I cried, sobbing out the words I had only thought before. They sounded so fleeting out loud, and that scared me, too. "Promise you'll love me forever!"

It sounds so pathetic, but I couldn't have been any more honest, and I think Axel understood that.

"I promise," he said, "I always love you. Forever."

I believed it. With every beat of my heart, I believed him. But at the same time, I doubted it. Somewhere in my mind, I realized that we couldn't ever live without one another. I don't know why I didn't realize that at some point, one of us would die, and the other one would be left behind. We would inevitably be separated.

But I couldn't come to terms with such a horrible reality, so I just shut myself away from it for a night.

Misao came nine months after that.

Again, E came up with another brilliant-sounding name that was also a huge pun. Misao means "fidelity." I fully understand why E chose it-to display the loyalty between Axel and I. But fidelity also has another connotation, and when Sora heard it, he burst into such a fit of laughter that he nearly passed out and was done for the day.

Misao was also a ginger, like Kaji, leaving Yu as the only black-haired kid so far. And not only did she look like Kaji, she acted like him, too. She was quiet and cute as a baby, intelligent as a kid, and sarcastic and protective as a teenager.

Her sarcasm usually led to a fight between her and Kaji, Yu acting as the tall, scatter-brained mediator.

I think Yu's problem was that he and Sora spent too much time together, but...

Anyway, Misao was the only girl for a while, and even though the boys were young, they knew the differences between guys and girls at least as far as strength went, so Misao got pushed around a bit. It ended up making her tougher in the end, which worked out since so many people teased her for her short height and fair skin.

Apparently our genes weren't the custom on Destiny Islands.

Not too long after Misao was born, Riku and E made it official and became engaged. They had also decided, since E couldn't physically have kids, that they would adopt a son or a daughter, which I thought was a fabulous compromise. Kairi and Namine seemed to think so, too.

Speaking of Kairi...

Her attitude toward me completely switched at some point after I had Kaji, and she suddenly just stopped being jealous and was actually friendly to me. At first I swore she was up to something, wanted something, so on and so forth. But when she didn't act differently when I was pregnant again with Yu, I figured whatever had crawled up her butt before had died and fallen out, leaving her a happier person.

Well, no. I honestly thought that she and Sora (or maybe one of the others) had gotten into some sort of disagreement that led to some much-needed self-reflection. Maybe she realized what an ass she was being and decided to do something about it. And this time, she actually _did_ do something about it.

I mean, she still got jealous, but so did everyone else from time to time. Her only jealousy was toward how good I looked after having three kids.

"You can't even tell," she said one day.

"Yes, you can," I insisted, pouting a little.

"No, really, you can't!" she exclaimed. "Your metabolism is ridiculous, Nexus. You're lucky."

Before she just would've been mean and bitchy, but now she was new and improved, and also a lot more open and honest. Ah, maturity.

E and Riku got married shortly after E's twentieth birthday, and then Roxas proposed to Namine, and the same night-on purpose, Sora proposed to Kairi. The two girls came home soaked in tears of joy. The two boys came home and celebrated on how much they had made said girls cry. The girls got their revenge, don't worry.

Tomi was born some time after that, leaving Misao as the only girl still, and leaving Yu as the only one with my hair. However, Tomi had my eye color, which made him the first for that. Kaji was the first born, so that meant each kid had something unique to identify them with. This was good.

Tomi was kind of like a mini Kaji, with the same mannerisms and facial expressions. But his temper wasn't so bad, and his sarcasm level was significantly lower. He was just kind of mellow, but really, really intelligent.

The only thing that really ever made Tomi upset or mad was when he didn't get enough sleep. One day we decided visit my parents and Axel's siblings just for fun. Tomi didn't sleep well, and the whole trip went downhill from there.

I think he got that from me.

Anyway, after all of that, Kairi and Sora got married, then Namine and Roxas literally the next day. E and Riku were busy in the middle of the fun-fun-fun adoption process, and Axel and I were busy with four kids. Luckily, Kaji was old enough to be in school, and Yu wasn't far behind, so there was some breathing room in there.

But being busy was fine, and we were so happy it didn't really matter.

I think we had talked about not having any more kids, but I felt really bad for Misao being the only girl, so I threatened Axel that if his "fucking x-chromosome didn't kick in, we were going to have kids until I died." Kairi seemed to find that funny, commenting that we didn't even really "plan" our kids anyway.

"Okay, so what are _you_ smoking?" I said, laughing at Kairi's comment. She laughed back, half mocking and half amused.

"You've obviously never heard of planned parenting?" she teased. I pouted.

"Who the hell plans parenting? What good does it do? Things happen-that's life." I mean, we would know, right? Good grief.

"I bet if you actually planned your next kid, you would have half the stress level you have now," Kairi bet me.

"Oh, please," I said with a smirk. "We've been betting on things for a while, and I think everyone knows now that I am usually the most successful."

"Except for the time I ruined it," E said, grinning.

"Or the time you weren't even involved in the bet Yuffie won," Namine added.

"Would you _like_ to test me? Then do it," I threatened.

So Kairi and I made a bet that something completely unplanned and unpredictable would happen even if Axel and I deliberately planned our next child.

Of course, two years later, I found out I was pregnant with twins, and no one ever bet against me again.


	13. Chapter 13: That's Just Us

Chapter 13: That's Just Us (www . youtube . com/watch?v=yYZklvWE_gE)

Memo: Lol, I pretty much love Nexus. :) She's kind of a bitch, and it pretty much comes back and hits her in the face. :D But anyway, after this chapter, things kind of quiet down, then BAM! You're going to get hit in the gut again. Bring padded clothes and maybe some tissues. :3 Oh, and "Who killed Cock Robin?" "I had a little nut tree...when I was six." "UNBORN BABY!" XD God bless you, Lily.

Even after several years, E's daily routine hadn't changed much at all. In fact, even with an adopted son, she stayed at about the same busy-ness level. This meant she could still visit Nexus every day, so she did, bringing Issun along with her.

Nexus handled her stress rather well, which kind of surprised E. She herself didn't know how she could handle four little kids at once, soon to be plus twins. But somehow, Nexus and Axel pulled it off quite nicely, and soon Kaji, Yu, and Misao were all in school, and just Tomi was home with Nexus during the day. Issun was a year older than Yu, so that meant E was alone, too.

All of this led to the two young women getting together like always.

"Onee-chan," E said, "aren't you tired?"

"I've learned to deal with it," Nexus replied honestly, smirking. "But it doesn't matter, because now the kids are even."

"Even?"

"Yeah-three boys and three girls. I didn't want Misao to be the only girl. She'd drive herself nuts. I mean, look at me." Nexus winked at E, who grinned broadly, as always.

"I see what you mean," E giggled. "When they get older, Kaji and Misao will be so fiesty against each other."

"And Yu will be the peace-maker," Nexus finished, nodding in agreement. E looked a little worried, frowning.

Smiling, Nexus got to her feet slowly.

"E, I have officially determined that you spend too much time around Kairi and therefore you worry too much," Nexus said in one breath, walking over to the refridgerator to look at the calendar.

"I don't," E insisted, pouting. Tomi, who was playing on the floor, looked up at her with a little smile, and instantly E cheered up.

"Yes, you do. I mean, it's not like-"

Suddenly Nexus gasped, and E jumped off of the sofa so quickly she nearly passed out from light-headedness.

"Onee-chan!" she cried.

Just as suddenly, Nexus started laughing hysterically.

"See what I mean?" she said, grinning. "You just had an attack!"

"I thought you were-!" E flushed with rage and embarrassment. "Onee-chan, it's a good thing I love you so much, because otherwise I'd hit you!"

Nexus laughed at her honesty.

"You can hit me after I have these two," Nexus told her, pointing at her stomach.

"Good! That won't be long from now!" E rubbed her hands together maniacally. "Oh! Onee-chan, that reminds me of a story I need to tell you!"

Nexus nodded, encouraging her to go on.

"Well, the other day when Issun came home from school..."

As E continued her amusing story, Nexus suddenly began to feel increasingly worse and worse. She felt like she might throw up, or worse. Something was making her stomach churn, like really bad acid-reflux.

"Hold that thought," Nexus interrupted at one point, running into the closest bathroom.

E, a little stunned, stood there in silence for a moment, then quickly trotted after Nexus. She found her in the bathroom, wretching up what looked like a fine combination of vomit and blood.

"Onee-chan," E gasped when Nexus stopped.

"What's going...?" Her chest heaving, Nexus closed her eyes, shaking a little.

"Should I call Axel?" E asked. Nexus shook her head after a moment.

"He should be home soon. Call the hospital. I can barely move..."

E was too scared to leave Nexus alone at first, fearing that she might pass out and fall and hurt herself. But finally she decided the best thing to do would be to have someone from the hospital come out here.

Five minutes later, Axel came walking in, and everything had only intensified. E was trying to take care of Tomi while still watching over Nexus, who was nearly unconcious. And then suddenly medics from the hospital arrived by helicopter and began to take Nexus away.

And then things got worse.

Nexus' PoV

I was pretty much positive that I was slowly but surely dying as we flew to the hospital that day. I couldn't stop getting sick, and nobody else really seemed to have any idea what was going on, either. That was hardly reassuring.

I'm not really sure if the high altitude had something to do with it or not, but I felt like my head was going to explode. I kept saying that and Axel kept reassuring me that we were in a low-altitude plane and no, my head was not going to explode.

Well, if my head wasn't going to explode, my esophagus and stomach were.

Every thirty seconds I threw up, and each time there was more and more blood in it. It was beginning to get really scary. I mean, I wasn't so much afraid of dying as I was afraid of the two beings inside of me never getting to live.

At one point, while I was wretching into a plastic container-I had already filled up one-I inhaled too quickly or maybe too deeply or maybe both, and I couldn't catch my breath at all.

So now, on top of the excruciating pain, the vomiting, and the fact that I was in a helicopter, I was hyperventilating.

Oh, and labor kicked in some time around then, too.

I'm thinking someone up there _really_ didn't like me at that moment or something. Surely this all couldn't have been coincidence. That would be no fun.

The most paralyzing part wasn't the pain, but the overwhelming fear that I was going to die and in the process lose two daughters and be separated from Axel forever.

You see, when Axel told me he'd love me forever, I can't say I _fully_ believed it. Honestly, I had given him an impossible request, and he couldn't do anything about it other than to say he'd fulfill it, just to shut me up. I made him promise me over and over during my life, and every time he said the same thing. But it was never as reassuring as I wanted it to be, so the cycle continued for years and years...

Anyway, the torment of being in that tiny helicopter and not being able to breathe and the overwhelming pain felt just like when Sune would try to take over. It was that same awful inside-out feeling where you felt like all of your insides would just spill out in a mess.

I mean, that was already kind of happening anyway, I guess.

It was with that sort of displeasure that I finally blacked out, and everything went eerily quiet.

Axel sighed, pressing Nexus' limp hand to his forehead. This was supposed to be a happy moment, but somehow it had gone so wrong so quickly. If this was karma for something, it would've been nice to know what it was for.

Thankfully, the twins were safe in another wing of the hospital, and they could go home whenever Nexus recovered enough to go home to take care of them. Now the questions were centered around just that: would Nexus recover? If so, when? What kind of measures would they have to take in order to help her?

Her body underwent a lot of stress, more than it should've. She was lucky to be alive as it was, but the doctors seemed kind of pessimistic about her state of conciousness now, and they had already discussed the possibility of her slipping into a coma.

Axel knew that everyone thought Nexus was slowly fading away, and even he feared she might die. But he knew that somehow, she'd pull through. She had already been through so much-he was honestly surprised this ordeal fazed her as much as it did.

Kissing the top of her hand, Axel smiled.

"I'll love you forever," he murmured. "I promise."

Axel totally believed it. He really believed that it was possible to love someone forever, even if you were to lose the ability to love, like he had with his family.

During that time as a Nobody, he had no heart to feel with. But, like Nexus and others had pointed out, he had very strong memories of the feeling of love, and he could clearly remember the people he had once loved.

Axel seriously doubted he would become a Nobody again, though. His more prominent thought was death, especially now that it lingered so closely between them.

Death was the one and only thing that could completely separate Axel and Nexus. It was their one enemy, the one thing that they had to be afraid of. How they would die wasn't an issue, unless one was to die in the presence of the other. It was the huge boundary that would arise between them that was the issue.

Nexus feared being alone. She had been alone her whole life, and now she had not only Axel, but six kids and a bunch of extremely close friends that would be with her throughout her life.

But was it just through life that they would be with her?

Though Nexus disliked the thought of losing any of them, the idea of Axel being away from her eternally made her so frightened that sometimes she couldn't sleep at night for fear of waking up to find him dead.

Axel had a similar fear, but his wasn't nearly as extreme, since he really believed that there was some way beyond death that he and Nexus could reunite. He didn't know why he thought this, since no one had ever told him that. It was wishful thinking, but a very powerful wish to say the least.

While lost in these thoughts, Axel barely noticed Nexus' eyes flutter beneath her eyelids in a feeble attempt to wake herself up.

Her lips barely parted, and Axel jumped a little, startled at the sudden movement.

"...Nex?" he whispered.

Even though her eyes were closed, she looked as though she really wanted to say something.

"Nex, can you hear me?"

She didn't respond at first, but then slowly, her eyes opened, squinting at the bright lights above her.

"Nex..." Relieved, Axel once again pressed her hand to his forehead.

"...Wh..."

"Shh..." Axel said, shushing her. "Don't push yourself too hard."

Glancing at him, Nexus sighed a little. She tried again.

"Wh...where...is..."

"Where is what?" Axel urged her on.

It took her a moment, but Nexus finally gained the strength to finish her question.

"Where...is...Kairi?"

"Kairi?" Stunned, Axel shook his head. "She's at home. Why?"

To Axel's surprise, Nexus smirked a little.

"...She...owes...me...more...munny."

A quiet chuckle came from Nexus' throat, and after a moment, Axel understood what she was talking about. The bet they had made about parenthood being unpredictable...Nexus had won hands down..._twice_. Poor Kairi...she would be hearing about this for a long time to come.

"I'll let her know," Axel assured her. Nexus closed her eyes in response. "Are you okay?"

Inhaling deeply, Nexus nodded, sighing quietly.

"I...think."

She looked beyond dazed and obviously in pain, but she was concious enough to know what was going on, and that was reassuring.

"Axel?" she said after a few moments of calm silence.

"What?"

"...No more kids," she said in one breath. "Ever."


	14. Chapter 14: Bonnie & Clyde

Chapter 14: Bonnie and Clyde (www . youtube . com/watch?v=vR7ngELZ_wo)

Memo: Do not deny it-Nexus and Axel are Bonnie and Clyde. Couldn't you just see that? Zutto Bonnie & Clyde mitai ni...

Yuffie threw her arms around Kairi and squeezed her tightly, and Kairi did the same. It had been a year, but it always was. Every Christmas Eve, everyone came to Hollow Bastion and hung out together. Last year was a little different, though: Axel and Nexus didn't come. From what Yuffie and the others had heard, Nexus was extremely sick and didn't have enough strength to travel yet. But this year was back to normal, and Yuffie was grateful.

"Where is she?" the ninja demanded, looking at Kairi. "I want to see Nexus and her cute baby!" Yuffie paused. "How many kids does this make for her now? Five?"

"Six," Kairi replied.

"Six? That doesn't make sense!" Yuffie cried. "She had four the last time we saw her, and unless she's pregnant again-"

"No, just watch."

Kairi nodded toward the open door, where they saw Kaji running in, followed by Misao and then Yu, pulling Tomi along.

"One, two, three, four..." Yuffie counted indignantly.

Then Nexus came walking in carrying Kiki, and Axel followed, carrying Maki.

"Five, six," Kairi finished with a smirk.

"Wow, she has a _brood_!" Yuffie gasped. "_Twins_?"

"Yeah."

"...So _that's_ what almost killed her."

The two observed Nexus plant a kiss on Kiki's cheek, making the toddler squeal in delight.

"Ugh, how does she do it!" Yuffie pouted a little.

"What do you mean?" Kairi asked, startled.

"How is she so happy? How does she do it?"

"..."

Kairi continued to watch Nexus as she talked to Leon, animated. Yuffie's question was so honest; Kairi knew she had felt the same way herself multiple times. She wondered if there really _was_ a trick to it. Was it just age? Experience?

"You know what, Yuffie?" Kairi said after pondering in silence.

"What?"

"We should ask her."

"Ask who what?"

"We should ask Nexus how she's so happy," Kairi elaborated.

"Ah, well, yes. I agree, then," Yuffie said with a grin. "I think everyone else wonders the same thing, don't you think, Kairi?"

"Yeah," Kairi agreed, nodding. E for sure did-even with her adopted son and Riku, she still struggled with her happiness. And Namine and Kairi each had a child of her own, but still wasn't as happy as Nexus.

"Let's go."

Yuffie grabbed Kairi's arm and pulled her over to Nexus.

"Yuffie!" Nexus cried, hugging her ninja friend, who couldn't help but lose her pout and grin.

"Nexus!" She pulled back, still grinning. "You have twins!"

"I know."

"That's crazy! How can you tell them apart?"

Nexus paused, smiling.

"...I guess their hair and clothes. When they're older it'll be easier, we think."

"Yeah, I guess so."

There was an awkward silence, then Yuffie suddenly remembered the whole reason they had marched over here.

"Oh yeah! I have a question for you!" Yuffie exclaimed, pointing her finger.

"Shoot," Nexus said with a shrug.

"How are you so happy?" When Nexus looked confused, Yuffie explained. "You're always so happy! How do you do it? What's your secret? Tell us!"

Nexus looked a little amused. Noticing the conversation, Namine, E, and Aerith came over, curious.

"What do you do to be so happy?" Kairi asked. Namine jumped in.

"Yeah! You're always so happy! How?" she cried.

"I dunno, I guess I just am." Nexus shrugged again.

"Onee-chan," E said. "You must have some sort of secret to your happiness!"

"Yeah, tell us!"

Frustrated, Nexus sighed.

"Alright, you really wanna know the secret to happiness?" When they nodded, she said, "Okay-stop asking _me_ about the secret to happiness and find it _yourself_!"

Nexus' PoV

I really always did enjoy the holidays and visiting Yuffie and the others, but this was the most unpleasant visit ever. After the whole "happiness" conversation, all of the girls involved acted strangely toward me the rest of the stay. Axel thought it might be a good idea to call either Brent or Aila and get together with them so the others could recover.

But upon calling Aila, Axel found out some startling news.

"...My mom is in the hospital," Axel told me after hanging up with Aila. "She's dying."

I was silent, not really knowing what to say.

"You need to see her," I realized, glancing at him. He looked pained. "Do you want to?"

"Yeah," he replied. "But I..."

"Mom?"

Kaji poked his head into the room, his green eyes curious.

"What's going on?" he asked, walking in. For a ten year old, he knew too much for his own good, and his timing was impressive, though Yu was better at that.

"Your grandmother is in the hospital," I told him.

"The one I've never met?" I nodded. "Is she gonna die?"

"Kaji," I said sternly.

"Sorry." He frowned, unable to get rid of his bluntness. "But..."

I looked at Axel, understanding what Kaji meant. It wasn't really fair for him and the others to go without ever at least meeting their grandmother.

"...If he wants to go, that's fine," Axel said after thinking for a moment.

"I want to meet her," Kaji insisted, brave.

"What about the others?" I asked Axel. "I mean, Maki and Kiki kind of have to go with us, but..."

"I guess we can ask them."

"Ask us what?"

With that amazingly perfect timing of his, Yu peered around the doorway, Misao and Tomi beside him.

"Grandma's dying," Kaji said.

"Kaji."

"Sorry."

"Which one?" Yu asked, frowning.

"The one we've never met," Kaji told Yu in a matter of fact sort of way.

"I want to meet her!" Misao cried, running over to me.

"Me too!" Tomi echoed, probably just following Misao, as usual.

"Maybe we can make her better," Yu said, looking at Axel as if to cheer him up.

In reality, they probably would've made it worse by giving the poor woman a heart attack upon seeing grandchildren she didn't know she had. But it was the thought that really counted, and I could hardly believe how sweetly the four of them were acting about this. I'm going to say they got this sweet, cute behavior from me, even though I know that isn't true.

"Can we go?" Kaji asked. Axel hesitated, then nodded slowly.

"Behave," he said. Kaji smiled, for once completely sincere. Then he ran out of the room, followed by Yu, then Misao, then Tomi.

"Axel..." I said, standing to hug him. He didn't say anything.

"...I'm a coward," he murmured at last. "I've waited all this time to see her and my father again. I should've just gone."

"It's too late for that now," I told him, frowning. "The past happened. Now we have to handle the future the right way."

The hospital wasn't too crowded, which Axel thought was probably a good thing, considering that it was the holiday season and nobody wanted to spend any time in such a sad place. Then why was he here?

Yu sensed his father's angst and squeezed his hand, smiling. Axel couldn't help but smile. What a cute kid...and it was his.

All of their kids were amazingly adorable, all six of them. Six... Axel's parents had had six kids as well. That wasn't meant to happen on purpose.

_Speaking of siblings_... Axel thought when he entered the wing his mother was in. Brent and Aila were at the end of the hallway, talking. Aila's face was flushed from crying. She saw Axel first, and then burst into tears all over again at the sight of him.

"How is she?" Axel asked Brent quietly as Nexus hugged Aila, trying to calm her down.

"...She'll be lucky to make it through the night," Brent replied, frowning. He looked tired, but his face seemed to lighten up at the sight of the kids. "Hey, Kaji."

"Hi, Uncle Brent," Kaji said, smiling.

"Axel..." Brent looked at his brother solemnly. "You might want to have Nexus and the kids to wait outside for a minute. Kisa and Elisa and Dad are in there right now, and..."

"Enough said." Axel mustered a half-hearted smirk and nodded. With a deep breath, Axel slowly walked into the room, Brent following him in.

Kisa's head popped up quickly, then Elisa's. Their father continued to stare at his wife, who was in obviously poor shape.

"Who is he?" the twins said in unison.

_This is what I have to look forward to_... Axel thought, amused.

"Listen," Brent said, kneeling next to them. Axel listened patiently as Brent explained what a Nobody was and how Lea and Axel were the same person.

Kisa pursed her lips, turning away in disbelief. Elisa, however, stood up and walked over to Axel.

"You're Lea?" she asked, looking into his eyes. "Yes...you are. Kisa, it _is_ him."

Kisa looked at Axel, her lips trembling.

"Her heart will break, Lea," she said, a tear rolling down her pale cheek.

"Lea?"

Axel's father looked up at Axel scornfully.

"Who are you?" he asked in a hiss.

"He's your son's Nobody," the twins answered unanimously.

"..." Axel's father stood tall and walked over to Axel, suspicious.

Suddenly, surprising everyone, Axel's mother murmured something.

"Lea?" she mumbled, her eyes closed. Axel whipped his head around.

"Mom?" he said. Her eyes fluttered, but she stayed still.

"I have missed you so much," she said.

"I don't think she knows what's going on," Brent said, shaking his head.

"Yes, I do." Her eyes opened, focusing on Axel. "This is my son."

Axel slowly walked over to her.

"Mom?" he murmured, unsure of whether she was for real or just delirious.

"Lea."

"Axel, can they come in now?" Aila said from the doorway.

"I want to see his children," their mother said, her eyes closed again. A chill ran up Axel's spine. How did she know that's who Aila was talking about?

_Maybe the dead can sense things we can't_, Axel wondered as the kids came in, followed by Aila and Nexus.

"You're the oldest," Axel's mother said as Kaji approached her. "I can tell."

Kaji smirked. "You bet I am," he said proudly. Aila chuckled under her breath.

"Three boys, three girls..."

"How does she know?" Kaji whispered to Axel. "Her eyes are closed."

Axel shrugged, mystified.

Suddenly, the steady beeping noise of the machine next to Axel's mother began to slow down and speed up, becoming random.

"And you..." Nexus froze. "Such a beautiful woman. Take care of my son."

Pale with terror, Nexus leaned against the wall for support.

A constant, piercing bleet filled the quiet room. Kisa wailed, clutching Elisa for support.

"Mom," Axel murmured, astonished.

"What just happened?" Yu asked, wrinkling his nose at the annoying sound.

"...Your grandmother just died," Aila said, tears in her eyes as she knelt next to Yu.

"But we can see her again, right?" Misao asked, frowning.

"No, Misao. You can't."

"Why not?"

"When people die...they can't come back," Aila said.

Kaji, who was silently listening to this, squinted at his grandmother, confused. He knew that his father had come back after death, as had his mother. So why was Aila saying this?

"...So we can't see her again?" Yu asked, pouting.

"No," Aila replied, shaking her head. Yu lowered his head.

"Goodbye, Grandma," he said quietly.

Overcome with grief, Aila burst into tears and pulled her nephew and niece close.

"But people come back in other ways."

Everyone stared at Kaji, who didn't seem upset at all.

"They do," he insisted. "They come back in other ways."

"Like how?" Misao snapped.

"Like other ways, dummy."

"I see," Yu said, cheering up almost immediately. "People have memories!"

Nexus, who had been stunned with silence until now, smiled, nearly too choked up to respond.

"You're exactly right, Yu," she said with a grin. "People keep living."


	15. Chapter 15: Beautiful People

Chapter 15: Beautiful People (www. youtube . com/watch?v=UgH6eG_un3Q)

Memo: So...I know Nexus and Axel are not allowed to have favorite children. But I am, so I dub Kaji as my favorite! :) He is the first born, after all...

Nexus' PoV

It was just another average day at home, a Saturday with nothing to do but chores and laundry. Kaji was helping me fold clothes-for once-while the others were working on homework and other things.

Most weekends worked like this, with Axel coming home in time for dinner and the rest of us doing our own thing. I hated Saturdays because they prompted me to let my mind wander, which was a very dangerous thing. The last thing I needed was someone to provoke it.

But Kaji happened to be just the kid for the job, always ready to throw me for a loop.

"Hey, Mom?" Kaji said, glancing up at me. I looked at him, nodding. "I want to ask you something."

"No." I couldn't resist; usually his questions consisted of some stupid request to do something stupid with one of his friends.

"I hate it when you do that!" he shouted, a combination of amusement and frustration in his fifteen-year-old voice.

"That's exactly why I do it. Go on."

"Well, I've actually been meaning to ask you this for a while." He shrugged. "But I haven't been able to put it into words until just now."

"Okay..." I figured whatever he was going to say was important, because usually he was so blunt that he would just blurt things out immediately.

"Well, when grandma died-"

"Wait, which one?"

"Dad's mom, duh. Your mom is still alive."

"Yeah, I know." I huffed a sigh. "I just thought you knew something I didn't. Don't scare me like that."

"..._Anyway_, when grandma died, Aila said that death was final," Kaji finally said. "But...I know you guys came back after dying. I mean, Dad was a Nobody, I know that. But you came back, too. You're not a Nobody, so what does that make you? How did _you_ come back to life?"

"...Your grandmother died five years ago, Kaji," I pointed out. He nodded. "You mean to tell me it took you five years to come up with this question?" I couldn't help but laugh. He frowned, irritated.

"Hey, don't laugh at me! I'm not that eloquent with words, okay?"

"I dunno, eloquent is a pretty big word."

"Will just answer my question?"

"I will when you answer this question: how do you _know_ we came back after death?"

"...I dunno." Kaji paused, hesitating. "...I have this memory, but I don't know if I was dreaming or really saw it happen. I just know it happened."

"Will you tell me what it is?"

"If you answer my question first."

I frowned, glaring at Kaji, who had a big smirk on his face.

"Ohhh..." I pouted, stomping my foot. "I hate it when you're _obviously_ my kid."

Kaji grinned, knowing he had won.

"But only if you promise to tell me your memory or whatever," I said quickly. He shrugged.

"Sure."

Nexus sighed, focusing her gaze on the clothes she was folding. She knew these questions would come one day, but she was hoping maybe never. Well, it was too late. She had already made a deal, and her curiousity was provoked.

"Well, you're right about Axel being a Nobody," she began. "But it's not just that simple. Nobodies don't have hearts. They don't even truly exist. It's all really confusing, but...that's the best I can do."

Kaji shrugged. He obviously wasn't too interested in the details; he just wanted to know how his mother could've come back from the dead without being something strange like a Nobody. Was there some other kind of being he didn't know about? That was a possibility, he decided, since there were plenty of things he had yet to learn about life.

"But I was something much more confusing. I was one person with two souls, I guess. I don't even really know what I was. Ansem the Wise, a scientist I lived with, called me a mutant. I guess that's pretty close.

"Anyway, I had one heart, but my two different sides of my soul were sharing it."

"So you technically have half of a heart?" Kaji asked.

"Exactly." Nexus stopped for a moment. "I don't even know how I managed to survive like that for so long, you know? You'd think someone would eventually die."

"You _did_ eventually die."

"True, but not in that sort of way." Nexus smirked at Kaji, who frowned in confusion.

"Explain."

"Going to. Anyway, we met, some things happened-"

"Are these things appropriate for this conversation?" Kaji said, the smirk returning.

"Yes, just some murder and double-crossing."

"You were wild once, weren't you?"

"Yes. Quit interrupting me."

Kaji grinned, and Nexus couldn't help but smile back.

"_Anyway_, well, Nobodies don't die. They literally fade. I mean, they can't die. They have no existance, you follow?" When Kaji nodded, Nexus continued. "Well, Axel sacrificed himself to save me and Sora and his friends, and he started to fade. I...I couldn't just leave him there to fade, so I jumped in, and I faded, too.

"Well, when that happened, my half of my heart went to Axel, and the other half lingered in between the two parts of my soul. When Axel woke up, he had to choose between me and the other half of my soul. And he chose me, and here we are today. Voila."

"So you really still have half of a heart, then?" Kaji asked. Nexus shrugged nonchalantly. He couldn't believe how calm she acted about this.

"Yeah, I guess so," she answered. "But it's not like before, where the other half of me was basically trying to destroy me. We coexist in harmony."

"...That's the cheesiest thing you've ever said," Kaji stated.

"Probably." Nexus grinned in agreement. "So now it's your turn. How did you know about that? I mean, how did you know we had died and then came back?"

"Well, with Dad it's pretty obvious."

"Sarcasm off, please. How do you know I died?"

Nexus' PoV

Kaji looked sort of nervous when I confronted him, and for a moment I felt badly. But then I remembered he had promised, and I wasn't just going to let him go that easily, whether he was my son or not.

"Well, you're going to have to tell me if this really happened, or if I dreamt it," he said at last.

"That's fine," I replied impatiently.

"...So, one time, when I was little, you and Dad were arguing about something," Kaji began. Immediately my mind began to narrow down the possibilities. "And so I went out of my room to listen to your conversation." He nodded at me. "You said something about not being lucky twice and that you'd already had your chance."

I vaguely remembered this conversation.

"And then Dad said that death didn't have to be as permanent as you were making it out to be. And then you started bawling and told him to stop pretending like it was okay for you and he to be separated."

I knew what Kaji was talking about now, but I didn't know the specific incident, since Axel and I had gotten into that argument many times before.

"Dad said that there was no reason to be afraid and you just kept arguing with him," Kaji continued. "And then finally you broke down and said something like, 'Promise you'll love me forever' or something along those lines."

Kaji looked at me, and I couldn't look him in the eye. I was so ashamed that he remembered that, let alone even heard it in the first place.

"Did that really happen?" he asked me. I sighed, nodding.

"More than once," I confirmed.

"I don't understand." Kaji squinted at me. "Are you afraid of dying?"

"Yes...well, sort of." I fumbled around with the towel I was folding, pretending to look occupied. "Dying or how I'll die doesn't scare me at all. What scares me is what happens afterward."

"So, you're scared of being alone?"

The stupid kid had hit it right on the mark. He knew it right away, too, because we both immediately fell silent.

"Why?" he asked. "I agree with Dad. There's no reason to be afraid of something that's not only really distant, but so intangible."

"That's just it," I insisted. "The fact that it's so intangible and unpredictable. I mean, you have to understand: the likelyhood of both your father and I dying at the exact same time is very slim. So at some point, we're inevitably going to be separated, and either way, I'll be alone. I have never been alone in my life."

"But it can't be that bad," Kaji argued, frowning.

"I think you'll understand it more when you have someone you love, and you don't want to lose them."

"But I won't let myself be afraid of it!"

I fell silent. I knew he was right, just like Axel. But I couldn't help but let it get to me.

"Sorry," Kaji said quickly, knowing he had hurt my feelings.

Suddenly the door opened, and Axel walked in, looking at me, then Kaji.

"Sorry, Dad, I put Mom in a bad mood," he said, running off to his room.

"What did you do..." Axel said with groan. Setting down his things and taking off his shoes, Axel walked over to me, and I tried to act like nothing was wrong. That always backfires.

"...I can tell by the look on your face what you two were just talking about," Axel stated, looking at me. My hands trembled. "Nex, why do you let it scare you so much?"

"I can't help it, okay?" I whispered, tears coming to my eyes.

"I know you hate the uncertainty of it. But you can't keep running from it. There's a life beyond death."

"How do you know?" I snapped, turning to him at last. "You don't!"

"You tell me all the time to promise to love you-forever. Do you not even believe your own promise?"

"...I wish I could," I admitted, a few tears escaping. "I wish we could be together forever, Axel. But-but I don't think we can. I don't think it's possible."

Axel sighed. "O ye of little faith," he muttered, frowning. "You need to start believing in what I say. Unlike you, _I _believe in forever. But it has to go two ways, Nex."

I didn't say anything-there was nothing to say. He was absolutely right. But I couldn't help doubting him...well, not him, but the situation. Forever was intangible, and I hated not knowing if it really existed. It was a fear I had carried all of my life, and it just wasn't going to disappear so easily. I knew we would be separated. I knew. And I don't think Axel realized how hard it would be for me to live without him. I couldn't handle being away from him as it was. Death was even more final than any business trip; it was permanent this time.

Yes, being alone scared me most of all.


	16. Chapter 16: Rainy Day

Chapter 16: Rainy Day (www . youtube . com/watch?v=UFA6US9TrM4)

Memo: ...This is sad. :( And it all goes downhill from here... By the way, this is almost twenty years in the future from the last chapter. Meaning that our beloved duo is now in their fifties.

_Why do things like this always happen on my day off_? Axel wondered, hanging up the phone.

"Nex?" he called out.

"Who was it?" she replied, walking down the hallway from their bedroom.

"Yuffie," Axel said, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Really? What's she up to?" Nexus seemed happy about this, but Axel knew it was only because she hadn't heard the news yet. Usually Yuffie called representing good news, or maybe a fun visit for no real reason. If only it were like that now, but reality made it so.

"She was calling on behalf of your mom. Your dad is in the hospital."

Nexus frowned deeply. "Did she say why?"

"Apparently he's really sick. But Yuffie seemed more concerned about your mom. I guess she's taking it pretty hard."

With a glance up at Axel, Nexus sighed quietly.

"I have to go see them," she murmured, averting her gaze.

"I'll go with you," Axel said.

"Are you sure you want to? I mean, I don't know how long I'll be there."

"It's alright. I'm my own boss, remember? I can take off if I need to."

Nexus smiled a little, thankful for that little detail. Axel had become the president of the same company he had been working for for years after the last president resigned. Life had never been better.

"Okay," she said. "We should probably pack clothes for a few days, just in case."

...

Hollow Bastion had changed a lot in the past couple of decades, but the hospital looked the same as Nexus remembered it when they had come before, when Axel's mother died. Now it was a parallel story, except it was Nexus' father, not Axel's mother.

Axel wondered who all would be in his father-in-law's room, or if there would be anyone besides Nexus' mother and themselves. Nexus didn't have siblings, and Axel didn't know of any other relatives. He wasn't looking forward to how this might turn out.

When they reached the room, Axel's suspicions were confirmed: the only person in the room besides a nurse was Nexus' mother, who was sobbing hysterically into her husband's hand.

"Mom?" Nexus said quietly, walking toward her. She didn't respond, probably unable to hear her over her own sobs.

"How is he?" Axel asked the nurse, who was silently observing this display of grief.

"He's gotten worse as the day's gone on," she replied in a whisper. "He'll be lucky if he makes it through tonight, let alone past dinner break."

"What's wrong with him?" Nexus asked. The nurse shook her head.

"He got some kind of lung infection, and his body wasn't strong enough to fight it off. A simple thing, really, but for someone his age and stress level, lethal."

Axel nodded understandingly, but Nexus didn't respond. She was busy watching her mother, deciding what she should say to try to console her.

Nexus' PoV

My mother's grief was disturbing for a lot of reasons. It was really sad to watch her cry like that, especially over the body of her most loved one, who was withering away before her eyes. It also scared me, because she looked and sounded so much like me... Or maybe I should say that I looked and sounded like her.

"Mom," I said, gently placing my hand on her shaking shoulder. She flinched and looked up at me, her eyes bloodshot. It was obvious that she hadn't gotten much sleep lately. I couldn't help but have pity for her, even though a small part of me wanted to tell her to buck up.

"N-Nexus," she murmured, her voice thick with tears. "You're here."

It sounded like she wanted to say something else, but her throat closed up, and she just continued to sob. Frowning, I pulled up a chair next to her.

"Mom, it's okay," I told her.

"No, it's not," she insisted through clenched teeth. "He's dying. I'm watching him die right now!" Her voice rose to such a high pitch that I thought she might break glass.

"..." I didn't know what to say, since I couldn't help but agree with her. I felt like a horrible daughter, but at least I was being honest. But was that what she needed? Was that what she even wanted? I will never know.

"Maybe, maybe if you talk to him, he'll wake up," my mother said, sounding a little crazed. She grabbed my wrist and placed my hand on my father's.

"Dad?" I whispered, playing along. "Dad, it's Nexus." Now _I_ was starting to lose it, too. "Dad, I'm so sorry for any trouble I've ever put you through. I'm sorry I didn't come visit you more. I can't make up for it now..."

My voice caught, and for a moment I couldn't speak through my sadness and regret. But the desperate look in my mother's eyes made me continue, even though I don't think he could hear me at all at that point, since he was too far gone to comprehend much.

"Dad, I wish I would've gotten to know you better," I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I know I caused you a lot of grief and pain, but I want you to know that I...I love you. And I'm so happy that Axel made me find you and Mom, because you both are amazing people."

A sob escaped my throat, and I wiped my eyes, trying to finish.

"Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't have been a better daughter. But I promise I'll try to be strong like you, okay?"

"He is strong," my mother agreed, finally releasing my wrist. I pulled my hand away, knowing there was nothing else I could say. My mother immediately grabbed his hand again, like she was afraid without human contact he would die. "He is very strong. He'll make it, I know it."

As if to prove her wrong, the steady tempo of his heartbreak wavered. I backed off, scared of the reaction to come.

"No," my mother whispered. "No, please. Don't leave me here. I don't want to be alone. Don't go..."

I don't think Dad could hear her anymore.

"I love you!" she cried, holding his hand so tightly I thought she might break his fingers. "Don't go! Don't leave me alone!"

The familiar steady tone of death filled the room, and my mother's wail matched it, double the loudness.

"What do I do now!" she screamed, her hands still gripping my father's lifeless one. "What am I supposed to do now!"

I looked at Axel, who was at a loss for words. Not unlike me.

"...Mom, you...you have to do what Dad would want you to do," I said at last, for lack of something better to say. I felt horribly, but I really didn't know the answers to her questions because...I had the same questions, too.

"How am I supposed to know what that _is_ now?" she shrieked. "He's dead!" She buried her face into her hands. "You don't understand..."

"Yes, trust me, I do," I declared with plenty of confidence. Slowly I walked over to her, shaking a little. "Mom, I know how you feel. I'm so scared of this same thing happening to me. But I know...I know that if and when it happens, I know I have to do what Axel would want. Just like you should do what Dad would want."

"...But...I don't know what that is. Do you?" My mother looked up at me, her eyes glistening with tears.

"...I think Dad would want you to be brave," I answered. "I think he would want you to not be sad, but to keep pressing on."

"To be brave..." My mother shook her head slowly. "I never have been."

Axel and Nexus ended up spending the next two nights in a hotel, and then after those two days, they attended Montgomery's funeral. Both of them were surprised at the number of people who showed up, many of them they had never seen before. It turned out that Montgomery had been quite a popular man in Hollow Bastion, and many people knew him and loved him and were sorry to see him go.

But none were so sorry as Sabre, who stood in stony silence throughout the funeral. She felt as though part of her soul had been torn away from her, and she knew there was no way she could just keep on, being brave, or whatever it was she was supposed to do.

Even though she had Nexus, and plenty of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she felt so alone without this one person that it didn't even matter.

"Mom."

Turning her head, Sabre saw her daughter walking toward her.

"Nexus..." she murmured, her throat clogged with tears.

"Mom, it'll be okay," Nexus said, wrapping an arm around her mother's shoulders.

"No, it won't!" Sabre burst into tears again. "Nexus...you just don't understand! I'm going crazy! I lost him...he was part of me! What am I supposed to do now? I'm incomplete!" She shook her head. "I'm so lost..."

"Mom..."

"I don't want to be alone."

"I..." Nexus paused before continuing. "If it would make you feel better, I could stay here with you."

"I don't want you to have to do that," Sabre replied, trembling. "You'll be unhappy."

"That's not true. What will make me unhappy is seeing you suffer."

Sabre didn't reply, unable to put her feelings into a rational explanation.

"Nexus...I love you very much." Sabre put a cold hand on her daughter's cheek. "But nothing can help me now. If it would make you feel better, you can stay with me. But I can guarantee that you won't be staying for very long, because either my heart is going to break, or I'm going to go crazy and kill myself. Either way, I'm going to die. I just can't take this."

"..." Nexus lowered her head, frowning. "...I would feel awful if I just left you alone, and I know you'd feel badly, too. I'll stay with you for a while, as long as it takes."

"Don't bother unpacking," Sabre whispered, quickly turning away so she wouldn't have to see her daughter's reaction. She had already felt enough hurt for one lifetime.

...

When Axel and Nexus arrived at their hotel that night, both of them were completely spent emotionally. Nexus felt as though a heavy weight were pressing down on here. Everything just seemed sluggish.

"Nex..." Axel sat next to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her waist. She burst into tears.

"I hate to see people suffer like that," she sobbed. "Especially my own mother." She looked up into Axel's tired green eyes. "Do you think I did the right thing?"

"I think you are doing all you possibly can do," he answered.

"But is it enough?"

"Nex...you're never going to know. You just have to keep trying. Your mother needs your strength right now."

"I know..."

"But don't wear yourself out trying too hard," Axel warned her, kissing the top of her head. She sighed.

"I know. Good night, Axel."

"Good night, Nex."

But it just wasn't a good night. Nexus was scared to leave her mother alone, but she knew there was nothing she could do, and whatever would happen, would happen.


	17. Chapter 17: Moments

Chapter 17: Moments (www . youtube . com/watch?v=WN0EC6Ipu3I)

Memo: :( More sadness, haha. Sorry...if I tell you the ending is happy, will you not be angry...? lol

Nexus' PoV

I wasn't surprised at all when we walked into my parents' house the next day and found my mother dead.

She was lying in bed on her back when we found her, her eyes closed and the faintest hint of a smile on her pale face. She was also clutching a picture to her chest, and when I pulled it away, I saw that it was a photo of her and Dad from their wedding day. They looked so incredibly happy, that if it had been anyone else, I might've gagged.

It all looked rather posed to me, though, and I wondered if my mother had really gone ahead and killed herself. I didn't want to think that was the case, but she herself had mentioned it, and so it was the first thing that came to my mind.

"Should we call the hospital?" I asked Axel, who nodded in reply.

"...She looks happy," he said quietly.

"Do you think it might've been suicide?" I offered. He shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"Really?"

"Do you?"

I nodded, shrugging a little.

"I mean, I hate to think that about someone, but she was so unhappy. She even told me that she might kill herself. So I guess I wouldn't be surprised if she really did."

"I guess you have a point. But I don't think she would've."

"Why not?"

"...I honestly don't think she was brave enough to kill herself. She was afraid of living and afraid of dying. I think her body just shut down after all the stress she put on it."

"..."

I felt like either of us could've been right, but the only way of knowing was taking her to the hospital and having her examined by a doctor.

The weight on my heart had grown significantly heavier by the time the people from the hospital came. Since discovering my mother dead, I had realized that I was a terrible daughter and could've done so much more to help her.

I hate hindsight. It's always 20/20.

Axel was beginning to grow weary of sitting in this stupid hospital. He didn't want to come here ever again. He could only associate this place with bad memories now.

"Hi, Nexus," the nurse said to Nexus, obviously recognizing her from a few days ago. She smiled sadly, and Nexus could only return the gaze with a blank stare, still lost in thought.

"What did you guys find out?" Axel said for her.

"Well, Sabre's death appears to be from natural causes," the nurse replied. "There was no evidence of a struggle or suicide. No poison, nothing."

Nexus nodded, signaling she understood.

"If you'd like, we can arrange another funeral for you."

"That's fine," Nexus said, nodding again.

The nurse smiled sadly again, trying to muster the courage to look at least halfway happy. Axel felt bad for her. What a terrible job.

When she walked away, Nexus heaved a sigh.

"This is getting old really fast," she said, frowning.

"I know. But it's over for now."

"Yeah, 'for now.' But who knows what will pop up next."

She had a point, and Axel couldn't find it in him to disagree or argue with her.

"They say it was natural?" Nexus said, a hint of anger in her voice. "How 'natural' is heartbreak?"

Axel shook his head, unsure of how to respond. He had just been wondering the same thing.

"Well, whatever. At least she's at peace now." Nexus bowed her head, and Axel could tell what she was thinking: when would peace come for them?

...

The next day, Axel and Nexus attended another funeral, with twice as many people at it than before. Apparently Sabre had been just as popular as Montgomery, so the funeral home and graveyard were super crowded. Kaji and the other kids were there again, but Nexus barely spoke to any of them. She was too lost in her own thoughts.

"It's nice that they were buried together, at least," Axel mentioned later as the graveyard was clearing out.

"I think so, too," Nexus admitted, smiling a little. "My mother finally got what she wanted."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, she wanted to be with Dad forever. And now they'll always be here, right next to each other."

"Forever?"

Nexus nodded, wiping her eyes for what felt like the millionth time.

"Since when do you believe in forever?" Axel asked, nudging her with his elbow. She chuckled quietly.

"I don't know if I believe in it or not, Axel," she replied, smirking at him. "But it's certainly a nice thought, isn't it? To be with the one person you love, forever. Past death."

"That's what I think it's like," Axel told her.

"That's what I hope it's like. I think that would be incredibly beautiful."

Nexus sighed, and Axel looked at her, confused.

"I think that when we die, we should be able to spend the rest of eternity, forever, with that one person we love," she explained. "But I don't think it's possible, because not everybody finds that one person before they die, you know? Not everybody gets that chance."

"But the people who do? Shouldn't they be able to have that togetherness forever?"

"I hope they do. But I...I'm just trying to be realistic." She shook her head quickly. "Anyway, whether they find each other in eternity or not, Mom and Dad are here next to each other forever. They'll always be right here. They at least have _that_ much to celebrate."

"That's true," Axel agreed, linking hands with Nexus. She trembled a little.

"I really do hope they get their eternity together," she murmured, tears returning to her eyes. "Maybe then they'll really be happy."

"You don't think she was happy?"

Nexus shrugged.

"I think she was, sort of. But I know she had a lot of regrets."

"Who doesn't?"

"Yeah..."

They were quiet for a while, staring at the identical gravestones that sat next to each other in solemn silence.

_How easily people become memories_, Nexus thought, sighing through her nose. _And how easily we forget those memories, too. I wish there was more I could've done to help them both_.

"We should probably get going," Axel told Nexus, who nodded in agreement.

"I want to go to their house before we leave, though," Nexus said quickly.

"Why?"

"To look for memories." She frowned. "If _they_ can't have their memories, then I'll find them and keep them."

"If they could, I think they'd thank you for it," Axel said with a small smile. Nexus smiled back.

"That would be nice."

Nexus' PoV

My parents had kept everything in their house very well organized compared to me and Axel. I figured it had something to do with the fact that I had six kids and they'd barely had one.

Either way, it made my life easier when I went to look for their photo albums. There were only two in the whole house, which kind of made me sad. All they ever had was each other, it seemed.

There were actually quite a few pictures of the three of us together from when I was a child, but I couldn't remember any of those times anymore. My memory had been screwed with so much during my time with DiZ that I was lucky I remembered I had parents in the first place.

After looking at all of those pictures, I wish I would've had my whole childhood with them. They looked so incredibly happy being with me, and I with them. We were all smiling back then, and now...

I felt like a terrible daughter. Axel had been right; I should've found them right away. They were always so loving toward me, and I never knew. I always just assumed the worst about them.

And now they were gone. I couldn't even talk to them anymore. That sad reality made my heart hurt so much.

But it wasn't just the pictures of me and them together where they looked happy.

There were a slew of pictures from their younger days, when they were dating, with friends, and so on. They also had a good portion of pictures from their wedding. One picture in particular made my heart beat fast just looking at it.

Their faces radiated with some untouchable force, a powerful love that almost made me jealous. My mother was beaming so brightly, I felt like I might be able to reach out and touch here. She looked very alive.

Then I realized something that startled me.

My mother and I were so alike. I mean, I had always known that, ever since Yuffie had pointed out our similarities that one time so long ago. But that was just a physical side of things. I'm talking about emotionally.

The reason my mother suffered so much after my father's death was because she was so, so afraid of being alone. She didn't know what that was like, and it terrified her so much that it killed her.

I realized that I was exactly the same way. Death and separation and being alone scared me so much. I didn't ever want to have to experience that awful feeling. Something so foreign and cold...

I thought back to my mother's reaction to my father's death, and then it hit me.

Since we were so alike, it dawned on me that I would react in the same sort of way.

My hands shaking, I dropped the photo album onto the ground and kicked it under the bed. I couldn't let myself be like her. I couldn't do that to myself and to everyone else. I wanted my eternity.

_It won't happen to me_, I told myself, my heart racing. _It won't. I won't let it. Things will be fine._

For some reason, I actually believed myself.

_We'll always be together. Nothing will ever come between us. Nothing. Ever. I won't ever be alone._

I repeated these phrases in my head the entire walk back to the hotel, and I continued to repeat them every day for five years until I forgot there was even a possibility of loneliness in my future.


	18. Chapter 18: Onegai Ikanaide

Chapter 18: Onegai Ikanaide (www . youtube . com/watch?v=ifdakAqEQNM)

Memo: Wow. I can't even believe I've made it this far...O_o It's been a journey...and now it's winding down... What an incredibly sad feeling I have. TT_TT But I think this has an excellent ending, one that is very appropriate. Btw, the title means "Please don't go" in Japanese.

Nexus' PoV

Finally, five years later, the worst day of my life came-my worst nightmare came to life right before my eyes.

The day started out like any other day normally would.

Axel got up for work, and I woke up soon after he did because for some reason I couldn't sleep through the racket he was making. I couldn't tell what he was doing, but whatever it was, he wasn't making much of an effort to do it quietly.

When I walked down the hallway and got closer, I realized that Axel was actually coughing. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. He had spent the previous night working out in the rain trying to finish a big project; I know it was his obligation as president, but come on, did they have to be outside until three in the morning?

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked, walking over to him as he coughed roughly. He jumped, probably startled by the fact that I was awake.

"Yeah, Nex," he replied, his throat sounding scratchy. "It's just a cold."

I frowned. "You shouldn't have worked that late."

"But you know I had to."

"I know...but, look at you. Now you're sick."

Axel shrugged, grinning a little.

"So what? It's just a cold."

As if to prove that statement wrong, he burst into a coughing fit. I felt my frown deepen.

"You should stay home today," I told him.

"You know I can't, Nex," he insisted through coughs.

"It's not like we need the munny."

"You don't understand. Those guys look up to me. I need to be there and set a good example. I can't let a cough slow me down." He smiled. "Besides, I'll get over it in no time, like always."

He had a really good, valid argument that I couldn't fight against no matter how hard I might try.

"Just be careful," I warned him, kissing him on the cheek.

"Watch out-I might be contagious," he teased me.

"Like that's ever stopped us before." There had been plenty of times where we'd caught each other's colds and viruses. It was just kind of something that we couldn't control. "If you start feeling worse, come home, okay?"

Axel gave me a look, and he got one right back.

"Promise?"

"Fine," he sighed. He grabbed his briefcase off of the counter and smiled. "I'll see you."

"Okay. Bye."

...

I wasn't the least bit surprised when the door opened three hours later and Axel walked in, coughing. I was just surprised it was so soon.

"It got worse?" I asked him as he set down his things by the door, kicking off his shoes half-heartedly.

"Yeah," he coughed, nodding.

"Do you want anything to eat? I mean, it's almost lunchtime." I followed him as he walked toward our bedroom. "I could make you some soup, if you want."

Axel shook his head, clearing his throat.

"Maybe later," he replied. "I think right now I'm just going to sleep."

"That's probably a good idea," I agreed, stopping in the doorway as he walked over to the bed. "Do you want me to wake you up for dinner?"

"Nah, don't worry about it," Axel said. "If I'm more hungry than I am tired, I'll get up."

"Okay..."

Frowning, I looked at him one more time before leaving the room and shutting the door behind me.

I didn't come back until that night when I went to bed. Axel had been asleep all afternoon, occasionally waking up with a coughing fit.

He was fairly still when I laid down next to him, his breathing steady but full of phlegm. After listening to it for a while, I fell into an uneasy sleep, my body curled up next to his.

Nexus opened her eyes the next morning, her neck feeling stiff and her mouth dry. As she sat upright, she realized that Axel hadn't gotten up for work yet, meaning he still was sick.

"Axel?" Nexus said quietly, looking at him. He didn't move or respond. "Hey, Axel?"

Gently, Nexus placed her hand on his forehead, which was burning up. Startled, she pulled her hand away.

"Axel, wake up," she gasped, her throat closing up. "Can you hear me? Axel!"

Nexus panicked, her heart throbbing in her stomach. Her fingers flew to Axel's neck, feeling for a pulse. It was there, but faint.

Trembling, she reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the phone, her index finger flying as she dialed the emergency number. She then proceeded to call every single person she knew would come. All of her children, her grandchildren, and of course, the others who lived on Destiny Islands.

The doctor arrived first, armed with a medical bag that easily could've fit a small dog in it...or more. He was around her age and serious, a determined look in his eyes. Nexus thought he looked a little familiar, then finally recognized him for the clerk that she had seen so many years ago when she first found out she was pregnant. He didn't recall her, though, and instead got to work on examining Axel.

_What a small world it is_, Nexus thought, sitting on the sofa in her living room.

Then everyone else seemed to arrive at once, causing the house to become chaotic. But the numerous distractions couldn't even sway Nexus' focus. She sat on the couch, shaking with compressed sobs, while her family and friends pressed her for answers to their constant questions.

The truth was, she didn't know what exactly was going on. She didn't know, and that frightened her. She didn't want Axel to die, but the possibility was certainly looming. All the work she had done to put herself into denial the past five years was now pointless.

"Onee-chan, look," E said, nodding at the doctor, whose facial expression looked no different than it had earlier. Nexus wasn't sure whether to be happy about that or not.

"Well?" Nexus urged him as she dashed over to him, peering into his gracefully aging face. He frowned; she tremored.

"His immune system is very poor," the doctor replied, ambiguous.

"_And_?"

The doctor's frown deepened.

"I...I'm sorry, but I can't give you much of a hopeful outlook. He's very ill, and he's suffering."

"There's nothing you can do?" Nexus gasped, her mouth going dry as her eyes got moist.

"No, nothing but keep him comfortable."

Nexus was frozen in place, overcome with shock, then suddenly got a burst of energy. She bolted into their bedroom, where Axel was resting on the bed, unconcious.

"Axel," she breathed, grasping his hand. "Please, stay with me. Please don't go. Don't leave me alone-"

Her voice caught in her throat, and she burst into tears, collapsing into the chair beside the bed.

"Mom?"

Nexus lifted her head at the sound of Yu's voice.

"Mom, it'll be okay," he said. She shook her head slowly.

"You don't understand," she whispered, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I thought I did. He's dying, isn't he?" When Nexus nodded, he continued. "...It must be hard. To lose someone you love like this."

"And how do you think it will be okay?" she murmured.

"Well, there's always something at the end of the road to look forward to, isn't there? That's what E used to say to me all the time."

"E..."

Yu said nothing more, only hugged his mother and left the room to join the others.

Nexus sat with Axel for three days straight without sleeping, or eating, or drinking. Sora and the others often came over, trying to convince her to relax and get some rest, but she refused them each time. They did at least convince her to let them stay in the guest rooms overnight, just to keep an eye on her. Her mental state worried them, especially the fact that she muttered things all night long.

But they were just prayers.

Nexus prayed the same things over and over each night, with the third night differing a little.

"Please, don't go," she whispered, pressing her lips to his warm hand. "Stay with me. Don't leave me alone. Promise... Promise you'll love me forever."

She closed her eyes, tears clinging to her lashes.

"I'm trying so hard, Axel. I'm trying to believe in forever. Okay? I'm trying. I want to believe in forever. But please, don't leave me alone. Don't go..."

Laying her head on his hand, she burst into tears, with only the lonely moon to keep her company in her sadness.

Nexus' PoV

The next morning I opened my eyes, realizing that I actually must've fallen asleep. Who knows how exhausted I had been, but obviously I had been tired enough to fall asleep. I also determined that I had cried myself to sleep; my tear-drenched cheeks had glued my face to Axel's soft, cool hand.

Something seemed off about this observation, and it took me about five seconds to realize that the messed-up part in all of this was the fact that Axel's hand was cool. Not warm, like it had been the previous night, but _cool_. My heart raced in response, and one of my hands moved from his hand and up his arm, which was cold. I touched his forehead, then his cheek. Both had the same icy feeling as his arm.

Finally, I placed two fingers on his neck, desperately searching for a pulse. There was none.

I couldn't even catch my breath to scream at first. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought it might beat out of my chest. But then finally I realized the only thing stopping me from screaming my lungs out was the fact that I was biting my lip, so I let go.

The most inhuman sound I had ever made came out of my mouth then, and it wouldn't stop. Even when Sora and E and the others rushed into the room, my screams wouldn't stop. No, never, because they were for my love.

"_NO_!" I shrieked as Sora tried to pull me away from Axel's corpse. "NO!"

Shaking my friends off of me, I jumped onto the bed, kneeling next to Axel, gripping his shoulders tightly.

"Please, don't go!" I cried, sobbing. "Don't leave me alone! Please, stay with me! Don't go! _Don't go_!" I tried to breathe deeply, but I felt like I was underwater, choking, drowning.

Finally, when my brain could function again, I started shouting like mad.

"I believe in forever!" I insisted, shaking Axel furiously. He had to know. "I do! I believe in forever! I'll love you forever, I promise! _I promise_!"

When he didn't respond, didn't even move, I broke down, throwing myself on top of him.

"No, don't leave me alone!" I wailed. "Please, don't go... _Please stay with me_!"

I felt Sora's hands grab my shoulders and pull me upright again. He did it all on his own; I had no strength to move.

"Nexus," he murmured, trying to get me onto my feet, away from my love.

"He...he's gone," E said quietly, looking at Riku, then Sora, then me.

At this solid confirmation, everything buckled, and I collapsed in a heap on the floor, my body heaving with sobs. My grief had overcome me, just like my mother.

I was alone.

I am alone.

But I still believe in forever. Maybe, because of that, things will be different.


	19. Chapter 19: Part Of Me

Chapter 19: Part of Me (www . youtube . com/watch?v=aAV8d1-QDvg)

Memo: This is the most important chapter in the whole story, methinks. It is also one of the saddest chapters. :( But this is almost the end! Wow! What a ways we've all come, ne? Anyway, note that the Third Person PoV and Nexus' PoV start at the same time, then meet up at the end.

Sora considered himself to be a dedicated friend, and if this wasn't proof enough, he didn't know what ever would be.

He and his friends had been spending the past two months in and out of their own homes, keeping a watchful eye on Nexus, who refused to leave her bedroom other than to eat. And even then, she would take the food into the bedroom and shut the door, locking it behind her. She hadn't said a word to them this whole time, even when they asked her questions.

Her children (and beyond) had been over several times, but they had no such luck, either. The whole thing seemed a little hopeless and nearly pointless.

So now, after all this time, Sora and the others gathered in Nexus' living room to talk about their next plan of attack, or if there would even be one.

"She's obviously suffering," Riku said, frowning. "I just wish she wouldn't keep it bottled up like this."

"It's going to kill her," Kairi agreed, nodding.

"Maybe that's what she wants," Namine murmured, lowering her head. A few gasps.

"What do you mean?" Sora asked.

"I just don't think she wants to suffer anymore," Namine replied, shrugging. "Sorry, I don't really know how else to explain it."

"I think I can," Roxas offered, looking from Namine to Sora and back again. She nodded, so he continued, frowning all the while. This was just _not_ a fun subject. "I think she wants to die. I think she hates being alone, without Axel, and she doesn't know what to do with herself."

He paused, and Sora blinked slowly, taking this all in.

"Maybe it would be best for everyone, including her, if we just left her alone and let her die, so she doesn't have to suffer alone anymore."

"But's she _not_ alone!" E exclaimed, slapping her thigh in frustration. "Doesn't she understand that there are _so_ many people who love her that are _still here_?"

"I think she realizes it," Sora answered, resting his head in his hand. "But I don't think that's what matters most to her right now. I think she misses the feelings of love she had with _him_. She can't get that back, and she doesn't know how to deal with that kind of loss."

"That doesn't mean she can lock herself away in her room all the time, though!" E argued in a whisper.

"Somebody should talk to her," Kairi said, looking at Sora, who lifted his head in response, a little stunned.

"Me?" he said, a confused expression washing over his face. "Namine, _you_ should go."

"I've already tried a thousand times," she admitted, sighing. "She won't even look at me. It's terrible. I'm honestly tired of trying. It hurts me now, too."

"Then it should be you, E," Sora said, turning to the little Japanese woman, who pouted.

"If Namine's tried a thousand times, then I must've tried a thousand and one," she replied. "It's no use. She won't talk to me, either. She won't look at me, or even smile. It's awful."

"Then you should go, Sora," Riku said, nodding. Sora was about to protest, but Riku cut him off. "Don't argue. You spent so much time with her when you were younger. She might see you as one of the few people who would understand her loss. You might be the only one."

"You have to try, Sora," E begged him, tears in her eyes.

"She's not gonna say anything to me," Sora muttered, frowning deeply.

"You won't know until you try," Namine insisted, standing. She grabbed Sora's arm and pulled him to his feet. "Go talk to her."

"Now?"

"_Now_."

Hesitating, Sora glanced at the closed bedroom door.

_How can I even get in_? he wondered as he approached it. _She always locks it_.

Doubtful, Sora put his hand on the doorknob and twisted it. To his surprise, it opened right up.

Nexus' PoV

So...

I have written this epic tale, this true story, and now I have caught up to the present. So I have to ask myself-what do I do now? I should probably end this.

So, let me say that you, my fine reader, whoever you are, have reached the end of my story.

You know, in the beginning, when I wrote this, I thought I was writing it for myself, to deal with my grief and loneliness. But now, as I flip back through parts of it, I realize I really _wasn't_ writing this for myself. I was writing it for Axel all along. This story has always been for him, and it always will be. I mean, where would I have ever ended up without him?

I guess deep down in my heart I hope he will read this and smile and frown at all the right parts, and then say, "Let's keep it going, forever."

But I know in my mind that this hope will never come to be anything more than just that: a hope.

I really can't keep the story going anymore, because without Axel, there is no story. Without him, there's nothing left to say.

So...

So...

For once, I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to say next. I think that means I should just stop writing. I should probably just say goodbye.

So, whoever you are, reading this, thank you for reading this, first of all. I don't even know who you are, and yet I hope it touched you in some way or another. I want you to know-after reading all of these words-that you're never as alone as you think you are, but it's hard to see that as the truth at that time of loneliness. You just have to keep telling yourself to keep going.

And I also would like to say goodbye to you, because not only is _this_ story over, but _my_ story is over. You might be thinking, "Um, isn't that the same thing?" Yes, and no.

Yes, because this story that I slaved over for the past two months is, in fact, a collection of the most important and memorable events that happened in my life.

But no, because this story will always live on, the words will last a lifetime. My body won't, my soul won't.

But I think my love will.

So let me leave you with this:

Everything that you cherish, everything that makes you happy, everything you love can last forever. It can last forever, though, only if you _believe_ in forever, which is the hardest thing to do...ever.

But it's do-able, I promise. Believe in forever.

I believe in forever.

Sora walked into the room to find Nexus not sitting at her desk, writing, but sitting on the edge of her bed, staring out the window. He didn't understand why she would, seeing as there wasn't much to look at but rocks and trees and the like.

"Nexus?" he murmured. She didn't move, didn't even flinch. Sora sighed internally; this was going to be way harder than everyone thought it was.

"Nexus, will you please talk to me?" Sora begged her, trying the direct approach. "I mean, you haven't spoken to anyone in two whole months."

This fact didn't seem to stun Nexus at all, which kind of made Sora nervous.

"We miss talking to you," he continued. "I mean, remember when we all used to be together? ...I know it's not like it used to be, trust me, okay? I know. But...but that doesn't mean you should lock yourself away from everyone." He tried to think of what E was saying earlier.

"Axel is gone, but we're still here. And we may not be as good as Axel for company or whatever, but we still love you, too. I mean...damn..."

Sora had run out of words. He didn't know what else there was left to say without totally offending Nexus and/or making himself sound like an idiot. Although, there was a possibility he had already done that...

Finally, Roxas' honest words came to mind, and since that was his only option, Sora rolled with it.

"Nexus, do you want to die?" Sora asked, sounding a little harsher than he had meant to. "No, no, that's not what I mean. Scratch that."

Sora swore he heard a small, low chuckle come from where Nexus was sitting.

"What I meant to say was...are you..._ready_ to die?" He paused. "Is that why you won't talk to any of us? Is it because you don't want the separation to be too hard?"

She didn't respond. Sora tried one more time.

"Nexus, are you ready to die?"

"...Yes," she murmured in response, turning to Sora. He gasped, partially from the shock of her answer and partially because she actually answered him. "Yes, I'm ready to die. I...I don't want to leave you all behind, trust me. I really don't. But..."

Her voice trailed off, and her gaze fell to the bed where her hand was resting.

Silently, Sora shut the door behind him and locked it without thinking twice.

"You have to understand something about me, Sora, before you go accusing me of being a jerk or whatever you're thinking right now," Nexus said with a slight, indifferent smirk. "...I have never been alone before."

Sora just stared at her, confused as ever. She sighed.

"Since the day I was born, I've never been alone. I've always had someone there, sharing my heart. Until Axel came along, it was Sune, lurking, always omnipresent. Then Axel replaced her, and it all just continued from there. But now...I'm alone in the worst sense of the word. I'm incomplete. And I've never been that way before."

Sora watched as a tear slid down Nexus' cheek.

"It hurts, Sora, more than you'll ever know. I mean, I know you and Kairi are connected by your hearts, too, but not like we were. We were...we _shared_ the same heart. It's different, I promise. I'm just not intelligent enough to explain it."

Sora chuckled quietly, smiling. Nexus looked up at him, and a faint smile crossed her face fleetingly, then faded away.

"I've only loved one man in my whole life, but I've lost him twice," Nexus continued. "Now I'm tired, and old, and I've got nothing left to do in my life other than feed the worms."

"That's not true," Sora insisted, shaking his head. "You have children, and their children, and-"

"But you don't understand, Sora!" she cried suddenly, her sadness overtaking her at last. "I'm alone, and I have no idea what to do with myself! I tried to get rid of my grief, but it won't go away. I lost part of myself when he died, and now I'm incomplete, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I can't function, Sora."

Nexus stopped there, sobbing into her hands. Sora was at a loss for words, which didn't happen often. He had no idea what to say to console her, because he felt like she had a valid point and nothing he might say could change it.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice muffled from her hands. "I'm sorry that I can't be stronger. I love you all, I really do. But I... I'm just not strong enough. I wasn't made to be alone."

"...I understand," Sora said, and he actually did.

Nexus cried for a while longer, then finally she stopped a little, and Sora took his last chance to say a few more things.

"Thank you, Nexus," he said quietly, feeling unbearably sad. "I'm sorry for anything stupid I've ever said to you, or anything I've ever done to hurt you. You're the strongest person I've ever met, and nobody can replace you." He chuckled a little. "I'm just sorry I couldn't be that strong for you."

"Sora," Nexus sighed, smiling and placing her hand on his cheek. "Thank _you_. You made me smile again. That's all I can ask for."

Gently, Nexus kissed Sora's cheek, pulling him close to embrace him.

"Good night, Nexus," Sora said, a tear escaping down his cheek.

"Good night, Sora," Nexus echoed, wiping his tear away with a small smile. "_Thank you_."


	20. Chapter 20: Curtain Call:Grand Finale

Chapter 20: Curtain Call-THE GRAND FINALE (www . youtube . com/watch?v=Hr74WAZ2gUI)

Memo: *sob* *sob* WAHHHHHHH! *falls down in a heap of sobs* This is so sad. Right after I typed the last sentence of Chapter 19, I started bawling. XD This is so sad, wahh! And yet so happy! I hope this is what it's like when we die! :) Thank you, everyone, for sticking with it so long! You have been a great audience, and until the next story, adeiu! -Emi Hikari

Sora lifted his head from the arm of Nexus' couch the next morning, for the first time awake before anyone else. The only thing he could think about was Nexus, and if she would talk to him again today as she had yesterday. Or if she would talk to anyone else.

So, hopeful and naive like a child, Sora got up quietly and walked to Nexus' bedroom, quietly opening the door in case she was still asleep.

And she _was _asleep, but not in any way Sora could ever reach her.

"Nexus?" Sora murmured, walking over to her. Her eyes were closed, but he could tell she had been crying because her cheeks were stained with fresh tears. In her arms was a giant stack of papers, clutched to her chest, and on her face was the smallest but most sincere smile Sora had ever seen.

Curious, Sora began to pull the papers out of Nexus' arms, hoping it would wake her up. But instead, one of her arms fell off to the side, the other one draped over her waist.

"Nexus?" Sora said at normal volume. He reached out to touch Nexus' outstretched hand, and when he did, he felt its icy cold sting, and his throat burned.

"Damn," he muttered, setting the papers down next to her and holding her hand. "_Damn_!" He collapsed to his knees, his heart breaking. She was gone. Forever.

"Sora?" E gasped, walking in. Namine and Kairi followed her. Sora looked up at them, tears rolling down his cheeks. They understood, and soon they had joined him, letting their tears fall for her.

Soon all of them had come into the room, all of them were kneeling by her bed, all of them were crying for her. For him. For both of them.

When she finally could catch her breath again, E spoke.

"She's at peace now, though," she whispered. "She won't have to suffer anymore. You all could tell, too, right? She died of heartbreak. She was like a lovebird."

Everyone stared at E, puzzled as to what she was talking about.

"Lovebirds are bought in pairs, so they always have their mate," E explained, looking at Nexus with tears in her eyes. "When one dies, the other one does, too. It has to follow its love."

"...This is the second time I've seen her suffer and then die," Sora said, lowering his head in shame.

"And hopefully the last, for her sake," Kairi added, gently stroking Sora's cheek.

"I don't think she died of heartbreak, though," Namine said suddenly, staring at Nexus as everyone turned to look at her. "No...I think...she just wanted to be with him so badly, and she wasn't patient enough to wait any longer. I think she died because her heart...her love...was too strong."

"...That sounds like Nexus," Riku admitted, nodding a little.

"Impatient, but passionate," Roxas agreed, solemn.

Everyone's gaze fell on Nexus, and for the first time all morning, they remembered her life, and in their hearts, they celebrated it.

...

The news reached Hollow Bastion and every other world she had ever been to, and soon hundreds of people were mourning her death, clutching their hearts and crying out.

Even her children were shocked, and together they went home to see her, all at a loss for words.

But then, everyone realized that this was not just about her death, and how tragic this ending was.

It was about her life.

She had lived such an incredibly full life despite having come from such a dim start. She had reached her dreams, and she had been happy. At these memories, people began to smile for her instead of cry.

Yuffie and Aerith remembered the times they had spent every Christmas, and even the first time they had ever met Nexus. Even Leon could remember, and so together they celebrated.

Tifa remembered always seeing Nexus when she least expected it, and how they would always be able to read each others' minds, and so she celebrated.

Brent, Aila, Kisa, and Elisa remembered her as their funny girl, their fiesty teammate, their wonderful sister who was always there to help them when they needed it, and so together they celebrated.

All the friends she made in various worlds remembered her and her sense of humor, her sly and sarcastic remarks, and her dedicated and loyal personality, and so together they celebrated.

King Mickey remembered how compassionate and loyal she had been when it came to Sora and his friends, and how-despite her rough exterior-she really, truly cared about them, and so he celebrated.

Donald and Goofy remembered traveling together, and how there was always something going wrong here and there, and how she was usually part of the problem, but she would just laugh it off and keep going, and they wanted to be like that too, and so together they celebrated.

Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka remembered all the brief meetings they had had with her, and how they wish there could've been more, because her spirit was so wonderful and lively that they couldn't help but adore her, and so together they celebrated.

Kaji, Yu, Misao, Tomi, Kiki, and Maki all remembered their beautiful, wonderful mother, who had always loved them for who they were, and had never played favorites or been unfair, and how she had always been there to hold them when they were hurt or afraid, or to embrace them when they wanted to be praised, and how she was always putting them first, and so together they celebrated.

Kairi remembered how awful and jealous she had been toward this beautiful young woman, who had always really been there for her and forgave her without a second thought when she apologized for being a huge, unappreciative jerk, and so she celebrated.

Roxas remembered how he had ruined everything for her, and yet how she welcomed him as her little brother with completely open arms, and how she was always there to make him smile or to say something he needed to hear, and so he celebrated.

Riku remembered how she had always been honest, even if it meant being harsh to do so, and how she had accepted him despite his physical form, and how generous she had always been to him, especially when it came to giving him advice, and so he celebrated.

Namine remembered how she had been like her older sister, always there to help her with anything she wanted, and how they had only had each other during their stay in Twilight Town, and how she would always make her feel better, and how amazingly beautiful she was, and so she celebrated.

E remembered meeting her for the first time, and being amazed at her inner and outer beauty, and she also remembered when she called her "beautiful" and meant it, and how they would get together every day for the longest time, and how much they loved each other, and so she celebrated.

Sora remembered meeting her and thinking she was weird, then realizing that she was actually one of the most wonderful, dedicated, passionate people he had ever come across, and how when she died the first time he felt so badly, but how happy he was when she came back, and he remembered all of the horrible, ungrateful things he had said to her, and how their last words were the most wonderful things he'd ever heard, and so he celebrated.

Everyone's prayers were lifted up with one final wish in forever.

...

HEAVEN

...

Nexus opened her eyes slowly, breathing and taking in the sweet smell of flowers. She didn't know where she was, or how long it had been since she died, but she felt young again, airy and light.

"Nexus?"

Her whole body trembled at the sound of her name. Slowly, she pushed herself off of the soft ground, noticing her clothes were from a long time ago, when she was young. She looked up to see who had called her name, but a blinding white light flashed in front of her, and for a moment, she couldn't see.

"Nex."

Her eyes shot open, and she turned her head toward the light. In the distance, she could just make out a figure, smiling at her. She jumped to her feet, her heart racing.

"..."

At first she couldn't even speak, she was so happy.

"Nex," he called out, approaching her from far away. She smiled, tears threatening to spill over.

"Axel!" she cried, running toward him. It felt as though she couldn't move fast enough, even though she was sprinting ahead at full speed. "_Axel_!"

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Nexus threw herself into Axel's open arms, squeezing him tightly, refusing to let go. Upon impact, she burst into tears, sobbing and eventually falling to her knees, her hands clutching Axel's arms, then slowly sliding down until her fingers could grasp his again.

"C'mon, Nex," Axel said, kneeling down in front of her. He lifted her head, and they looked into each others' eyes. "You should know that no tears are allowed in Heaven."

Unable to supress it any longer, Nexus grinned and lunged into Axel's arms, her lips meeting his again. They stood up, Nexus on her tip-toes, and embraced each other again.

"I believe in forever," she said confidently, wiping her eyes. "I do."

"I know. So do I. And now we're here," Axel told her. She wanted to scream in delight.

"I'll love you forever," he added, placing her hands on either side of her face. "I promise."

"I will, too!" she cried, sobbing. "Forever!"

Pulling her close, Axel kissed her again, and they stayed together like that for a very, very long time.

Forever.

The end.

With love,

Emi Hikari

One more note: I will being taking a short break for a while until I get my own computer. I'll be back no later than mid-August. In the meantime, review, message, rate, read, and enjoy! :)


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